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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to put out sweets for children at a summer party?

115 replies

Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:32

I’m hosting a summer party soon and although the majority of guests will be late teens and adults, there are a few under10s attending too.

Food will be provided, but it’s a light summer buffet rather than bbq or sit down meal. There will be cupcakes and squash.

I want to make it as festive as possible for everyone, and I’m wondering whether to provide some little dishes of sweets for the kids.

As a parent, would this sit well with you or would it be annoying as hell?

I have no idea what sweets kids like these days, but was thinking of something like the natural confectionery co - would appreciate thoughts on that, or other suggestions.

YABU - don’t do it, their parents will hate you

YANBU - do it, it’s a party FFS

OP posts:
Jerrybalanitis · 22/07/2026 19:06

Enrichetta · 22/07/2026 16:35

How about a fruit salad in addition to the cupcakes?

Or some cucumber sticks? Or maybe just some little cups of water. Poor bloody kids. Put out some sweets and monster munch ffs.

Calliopespa · 22/07/2026 19:03

Needmorelego · 22/07/2026 18:22

Most don't even have sugar.
They're full of artificial sweeteners.

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I actually prefer sugar to sweeteners.

Middlemarch123 · 22/07/2026 18:40

LegoEmergency · 22/07/2026 16:34

I’m firmly on the “it’s a party FFS” side!

Absolutely

Calliopespa · 22/07/2026 18:39

ThisWiseRobin · 22/07/2026 16:39

I usually ask folks if it's OK to give their kids sweets. I'm 69 years old and realise that thongs have changed.
Wr stuffed our kids with sugar. But new parents are different....and dare I say, a bit wiser food wise.
There are loads of sweets that have natural flavours and colours.
Of course most ice creams if you check the labels are OK and maybe just throw in some e numbers for those like me that don't care.
I think it's really good of you to care. Enjoy the party

What style of "thong" do you wear @ThisWiseRobin and we can advise if yours is still stylish!😂

I'm with you here I think. I don't stop mine having sweets, but I'd rather someone checked with me and also would prefer they were not out with all the healthy food. Might be fun if you added them after they had eaten op?

But popcorn is liked by most dc, and I think if you have cupcakes that's probably sufficient to make it quite exciting? I find sometimes being restrained with treats makes children appreciate them all the more. My grandmother had a friend with a big box of wooden blocks for us to play with as children and we used to be so excited waiting for her to say "would you like to get the blocks out?"

It annoyed my mum intensely as we had them at home and they weren't always played with. Embarrassment of riches ...

AgnesMcDoo · 22/07/2026 18:32

It’s a party - go for it. Crisps as well.

GuavaBanana · 22/07/2026 18:32

Another coming to say, it's a lovely idea and I see where you are coming from, but my dc are given sweets constantly and I hate it!

Not just at parties - at school; at dance class; at sports class; at swimming; at church; at grandparents (at least I can address that one) - it's just endless. I feel terrible guilt every time the dentist asks about their diets.

If there's cake, then that will take plenty of parenting skills to manage anyway without the stress of also having sweets in the mix.

Needmorelego · 22/07/2026 18:22

Thebinisrightthere · 22/07/2026 17:56

Actually, studies have shown that sugar doesn't make kids hyper. It's an old wives' tale

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Most don't even have sugar.
They're full of artificial sweeteners.

Twogingercats · 22/07/2026 18:19

I think if it was me I would put some age appropriate wrapped sweets in a bowl and invite the children to have a dip as they go home. Then if parents don’t want them to have them immediately, they can be saved for later.

SquigglePigs · 22/07/2026 18:12

Just make sure they're chewy sweets and things that aren't a choking hazard as small children will probably try to carry on running around!

PoppieCock · 22/07/2026 18:10

Henriettina · 22/07/2026 18:07

Call me a party pooper, but I wouldn’t love this. It would make the whole party an exercise in making sure my 3 year old didn’t just stuff herself with sweets.

Some sweets, fine. Large amounts easily accessible, not so great.

That's parenting for you.

No reason why those who have eventually managed to crack it should miss out 🤷‍♂️

They'll have gone through this stage and come out the other side, and you will too one day! 🤣

Henriettina · 22/07/2026 18:07

Call me a party pooper, but I wouldn’t love this. It would make the whole party an exercise in making sure my 3 year old didn’t just stuff herself with sweets.

Some sweets, fine. Large amounts easily accessible, not so great.

MatronPomfrey · 22/07/2026 18:04

I’m of the it’s a party have a treat thinking. Also the hyped up on sugar is a myth.

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 18:03

Thebinisrightthere · 22/07/2026 17:56

Actually, studies have shown that sugar doesn't make kids hyper. It's an old wives' tale

Show quote history

Oh no, now I’m an old wife!!

OP posts:
Thebinisrightthere · 22/07/2026 17:56

Lotusina · 22/07/2026 16:54

Well, I suppose as a PP said - they might not want their kids hyped up on sugar. Back in the day, it never bothered me for a party although that was twenty years ago.

I don’t think they’d literally hate me 😂

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Actually, studies have shown that sugar doesn't make kids hyper. It's an old wives' tale

godmum56 · 22/07/2026 17:55

people who are talking about the sugar makes kids hyper thing do know its been disproven around eleventy million times? There are very good reasons to limit how much sugary stuff kids have but making them hyper is not one of them.

ManyATrueWord · 22/07/2026 17:54

I did a candy buffet and it went down extremely well. Got the sweets from Hancocks, the bags from Amazon.

Shatenoeuf · 22/07/2026 17:47

Ice lollies work well - younger children will accept things like little judes which have less sugar, but children over about 8 are a bit wise to this and will prefer twisters or cola flavoured calippos etc.

sweets are okay but portioned small sweets are better, ime the children who's parents restrict sugar the most are the ones most likely to greedily take more than their share, then their parents blame the host for providing any sweets at all.

SparkyBlue · 22/07/2026 17:44

Here in Ireland when is first communion party season most people would also have a sweet table. Now I don’t know how big your event is but it sounds like it has a similar type of family and friends party vibe. Usually a couple of different types of sweets /jellies / marshmallows and sometimes chocolates. They go down a treat with both children and adults.

Itsallsostressful · 22/07/2026 17:42

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 22/07/2026 17:36

Sweets yes but no lollipops! 😊

Quoting to say LOVE your username !!!

Sassy See You Later GIF by britbox
Bearbookagainandagain · 22/07/2026 17:39

As long as it's not something they could choke on, I don't care.
Its not about the sweets themselves, but I don't want to have to watch them constantly.

OhLaDiDaDiDa · 22/07/2026 17:38

perhaps you could do little party bags with a few sweets in each so parents could choose if their kids have them but take them home?

if There was a bowl of sweets half the kids I know would beeline that and the cupcakes and not eat anything else

DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat · 22/07/2026 17:36

Sweets yes but no lollipops! 😊

Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:34

igelkott2026 · 22/07/2026 17:28

Haribo yuck. Percy Pigs yuck.

I'd say do chocolate buttons but I realise my tastes are not the same as under 10s :) And I guess they could melt. I like hard sweets like cola cubes but they probably are a choking hazard and are quite difficult to get now, I have to go to a garden centre to get them.

Jelly babies or jelly beans might work?

I was thinking jelly babies too, bit of a retro vibe and I think Waitrose do lower sugar.

Choccie buttons would have to get past me first, which could be problematic.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lotusina · 22/07/2026 17:32

muggart · 22/07/2026 17:24

I think this is exactly the issue I encounter as a parent to young kids. Everyone thinks that sweets and cake etc are a special treat when they provide it, but in practice so many people do it that it becomes endless.

Just as an example, i took my child to an outdoor street event at the weekend (people in costumes and music etc) and multiple random people tried to hand sweets to my children.

On Monday this week, i walked past a cafe and some elderly neighbours stopped us to say hello to my kids, and then tried to follow it up with giving them chocolate.

My daughter’s final football class of term recently - complete with a slice of cake and chocolate bars to take home.

My daughter’s first swimming lesson this summer - the teacher brought sweets for the kids to entice them into the pool.

Last night, I hired babysitter for 2 hours
and they showed up with a box of chocolates which they tried to share with my child (and looked at me like I was alien when I said no).

And that’s before you get into daily desserts at school, croissants for “France day”, etc.

I genuinely don’t think many of the people that say “nothing wrong with an occasional treat” realise that in reality it’s nonstop, relentless adults offering sweets and chocolate to other people’s children. It’s not just parties. It’s life.

Obviously, I do my bit to tell my children they can’t have them but then i don’t want to give them a complex or eating disorder by putting junk on a pedestal so it’s difficult to manage.

Edited
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It must be.

I never came across that when my DC was small, and I wouldn’t have allowed a stranger to give them anything to eat either. Teachers didn’t provide sweets at all, nor did neighbours. Yeah, I would have found it very bizarre if people had practically run towards us offering things to eat (but I guess you can control that).

Back in my day it was mostly grandparents who liked to give treats, which I didn’t have a problem with. And parties, obviously.

OP posts:
hahabahbag · 22/07/2026 17:31

Little packs of haribo are perfect (have something vegan in the kitchen just in case) but have plenty because adults like them too

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