AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

Another example where everyone has to sacrifice for the one. They offered you a reasonable compromise and you refused.

I think you are being a little disingenuous here. We all know what at (at least one of) the other children's parents will do with the photos - they will share them more widely.

Take her out. You're clearly not a fit for each other.

Is this not a reverse?
Op wanted photos and has been told that someone complained so they're not doing any photos.

For crying out loud, they are being unreasonable. There are a multitude of reasons some kids cannot be filmed, they need to work around that without excluding anyone. How hard is it to film and photograph the other kids around your child not being in frame? It’s not. They are being ridiculous.

You aren't for deciding on a no photos. You are for demanding your child doesn't sit out the few minutes they're filming. Its not like they're making lord of the rings...its going to be a few minutes

YANBU.

It’s extremely common and normal for people filming to only film children who are allowed to be filmed. I have led large filming projects for a public sector organisation and all we do is put stickers on the children without permission and work around it.

10 years ago I probably would have said you were being precious but in this day and age it’s very dangerous to have your child’s picture online. Your child should not have to sit out of activities you have paid for because they can’t be bothered to film carefully.

It’s highly likely the holiday club will ask your child to briefly sit out for the time they’re photographing and filming anyway.

To moan, clearly

Honestly? I think you behaved really badly. Fine, no photos of your kid, but freedom of choice is not freedom of consequence, and you kicked off badly enough to spoil it for everyone else. Thats super entitled. I assume this is why you are asking; yes, some of the other parents (who also paid for the club and may have delighted in having a nice photo of their child having fun) probably are unhappy with you.

FFS you have to make up your mind are you in or out. Same happened at our school and no one got a group photo of a once off ceremony because of one parents preference.
You have decided that you dont want your child in photos or videos. That's perfectly ok.
But your child therefore has to sit to the side while said photos or videos are being taken if other parents have agreed its ok for theirs to be included.
Your job is to explain to your child that this might happen and why you dont want them included so they are aware they will be sitting to the side and then everyone can live life as they want. Its not fair to expect organisers to explain to your child. Whats also not ok is the entitlement that because you dont agree then everything has to stop.

Not at all. I bet you anything that several parents objected to the photos.

Yes this happened at my children's primary school too. (They've both since left.)

At the year 6 leavers assembly school showed a slideshow of the kids through the years all the way from reception including at sports days, school trips, plays etc. But some kids weren't in any of the photos because their parents had opted for "no photos". You would not believe the amount of parents who were then annoyed their child did not feature in the slideshow. A couple of them claimed that by saying "no photos" they had not meant take no photos, but rather ask permission to use any photos. But the form they signed said "no photos" ... so there were no photos.

I completely understand that some parents have a firm no photo preference but others don't seem to have thought it through.

A year ago I would have felt you were being selfish. Now I say stick to it. Aside from the fact plenty of children cannot be filmed for safegurding reasons and singling them out not to be in photos has always been rubbish. Things are really changing, and I think by next year, schools and other organisations with children will not be filming/photographing children. AI manipulation is off the scale and you never know who images are being shared with. The risks of sharing photos and videos of children now outweigh the benefits. I've spent a couple of months working with Police forces around this and they and I have been horrified by what we have seen, and that is after more than 10 years working in the violence against women and girls sector. We are all going to have to get used to not having photos of kids shared, and I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I'm 40+ and went to plenty of kids' schemes without my parents seeing photos.

The summer club could be run by a business that wants marketing material to promote their enterprise, hence filming and taking photos of club activities. You are right OP to not allow your child to be included in any photos or videos. The operators simply need to take shots of completed projects without using images of children ……no one will be missing out by NOT being filmed!

I'm in the same position, but inside I changed my thinking as I didn't want my child to be the odd one out. Rightly or wrongly that's the choice I made. I don't use social media like Facebook etc. I did think to myself at least the children's names are not disclosed or anything like that. I'm not aware of any children at the summer club my daughter goes to where the parents haven't given permission. I know this doesn't help and it's a personal decision. Unfortunately in the digital age we live in photo sharing is everywhere.

Surely its about how they share the photos. If they are going to a closed group, ie just the parents, this is better than a website, marketing, etc. Maybe this needs to be a question you ask.

You're not unreasonable for asking your child not to be photographed or videoed, but you are unreasonable for complaining that they will miss out, thus leading to no parent being able to see photos or videos of their own children.

I mean you can't really disagree with both. Fine for not wanting them filmed, but then they will have to miss some bits. Thats sort of how it works.

I'm quite puzzled by this question. If you're child is at risk of being found by someone who could harm him or her then I could understand thevsafeguarding issue , but not wanting them just to be photographed for a school activity that I presume will only be accessible to the other childrens parents is a bit odd. What do you think people will do with these photos?

YANBU at all to not want the club to take photos / videos with your child in. Did they say what it was for? For social media, marketing or advertising it would be a definite no from me too.

OP, there’s ways to take videos and pictures that either don’t include your DC or do include them with their face hidden.

It’s lazy videoing and editing to suggest it’s either all or nothing.

I know this because I work in a school and have been on trips where children couldn’t be videoed so the film was taken minus the child - and without the child missing anything.

It’s fine for you to not want your child to be filmed. But you shouldn’t complain if they have to sit out a few minutes whilst a video is taken for the parents who do want to see what their children have been up to.
most places will just blur out/pop an emoji on the face of any children where the parents have said no to pictures, or try to make sure they don’t get any pics of their face (harder to do that with a video obviously).

This. Incredibly selfish

I find it crazy that anyone allows their kids to be photographed and videoed in this day and age tbh especially if it's going on a public social media.

My son doesn't have permission for this either so yes if they're doing a promo video or similar he does need to be moved out but they get him involved in taking the photos of the rest or distract with another activity. There are ways to do it sensitively. He's blurred out in photos.