AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

This. It’s not selfish and entitled to not want your child to be photographed, or to expect them not to be made to feel different from the other children for that reason. If a setting is taking pictures of children to publish them then they need to be prepared for the work involved in that, which includes cropping out and obscuring those who shouldn’t be in pictures without overtly interfering with what the children are doing. It’s for them to manage, and if their decision is to not take any photos as it’s too much work then that’s on them too.

This, remember the parent who kicked off when no photos of their dc in their yearbook, what they’d expected was everyone else got the yearbook with their child’s face blurred out, but they got an individual one with their child and everyone else unblurred::

Can't they just take the whole image out fully? Or change the colour of the clothes and put a big sticker over most of it? Gawd I don't know really. I appreciate it would be easier if they could use the whole group.

So maybe it's ok if they just briefly say, ok we're doing a picture now, everyone who wants to be in it just come over here for a minute. Though I guess if it was only that child not doing it they could feel left out. As they might well not mind their pic taken.

Of course you're not being unreasonable to opt out of them being film or photographed but I wonder if there's crossed wires here regarding your child missing out? Most likely, they'll film/photograph a few minutes here and there and the majority of the time, your child will be joining in just as everyone else.

I work with children and that's how I do things - a few minutes of photos every now and then so we can share with parents some special moments, and then hours and hours without photos interrupting the activity.

Not unreasonable to not want photos or videos taken but you are unreasonable to insist your child can't miss 2 minutes of an activity so other parents can have photos. You sound like extremely hard work and are happy for every other parent to miss out just because it's what you want.
I don't allow the school to put photos of my son on social media (happy to receive photos or have them displayed in school) but I also accept there will be times when he might miss out on activities (for a few minutes and they usually involve him in something else for those few minutes).
I wouldn't be surprised if next time you want to use the holiday club they tell you there's no more spaces left.

Possibly a dance school?? As they tend to film routines the kids have learnt etc, rather than just take pics

Exactly this

Yes they might, but I still don't see the problem with the OP being annoyed that her child will be removed from the activity to take the photos/videos. If it is a safeguarding issue then that's fine, but otherwise I don't see what her problem is.
People do share photos like that with family and friends but I don't understand what they think people are going to do with them.
I've got loads of photos, especially holiday ones, with unknown kids in the background.
Am I supposed to go round shooing any other kids out of the way beforehand?

Impossible.
Because then parents complain that their clothes can be recognised.

Congratulations OP, for selfishly making sure that nobody now gets to see any photos/videos of their children at a holiday club.
Of course you're not being unreasonable about not wanting your child to be filmed, but you are being extremely unreasonable to refuse to let your child sit out from an activity while they are filming.

I don't let my son get posted on his school's social media. They include him in group photos with a smiley over his face and they just avoid him or cut edit him out of videos. They still manage to post multiple videos a week showing what all the kids are up to and he doesn't ever have to sit out of an activity or photo opportunity.

Oh, I remember those complaints 'Why aren't there any photos of my child doing fun things? It's just favouritism'. Uh, no, you returned the form stating that you did not consent to photos being taken.

You expected us to contact you on special occasions to ask specifically if we could take a photo? Well, here are the contacts where we gave parents a choice to consent specifically for one thing and here are your responses saying absolutely not.

Do any of the other parents have photos of your child doing those activities? Well, no because you refused consent to have photos taken and we followed your wishes.

A lot of PP missing the point.

Schools will never video or photograph kids without permission. So no problem.

OP made it a problem because she kicked off at her kid having to step aside whilst other kids ( whose parents HAVE given permission) are filmed.
Oh no...not making HER daughter miss out.
Make everyone else's.

They should not be saying your kid must sit out. They need to avoid showing your child's face and if it is shown then it should be blurred or their image fully edited out. That's not difficult with editing now. It's perfectly reasonable to decline your child be identified.

I run children's classes in a performing arts subject.
We ask for permission for filming and photos.
Photos are easy, we just pop a blur or a sticker over their face, but I helped on a school trip the other day and they literally just asked the kids that can't be photos to pop to oneside for a second. Videos can be trickier. If possible (eg they aren't moving around) we pop them on the end of line whilst filming and crop them out. If it's say a moving dance routine that they have all learnt we will do it twice, once for everyone and once for filming where the children who can be filmed sit out briefly.

You are totally in your rights to not want your children filmed, and we have had many foster children who absolutely cannot be shared publicly. But you can't dictate that other parents cant have recordings of their children.

That said...they dealt with it badly, by being pushy and acting like it was an inconvenience, when it could be a serious safeguarding issue.

Saying no photos or videos is fine it’s your choice but if others are happy then your child will have to sit out for a couple of minutes.

These photos/videos are usually used to advertise the club so they get more numbers in to keep them running.

I would put money on you moaning if they closed from not enough children attending.

Photos and videos for what reason? To share in private groups/comms to parents? We typically say yes, unless we have reason to think they wouldn’t stick to it. To post for their promotion in general materials leaflets/website - potentially, it depends on their reach, funding, etc.-but now, thinking with AI, will likely say no to that going forward. To post on social media either advertising or their public page - absolutely not. So for me it very much depends.

Not everyone refuses photographs just down to preference. Children from situations of domestic violence are usually not photographed for safety reasons. I've read about schools massively screwing up and using these photographs on SM.

I might be deluded but as a parent, I don't want my child's image used on random SM. It's inappropriate. If I choose to put it on mine, it's different and has a limited audience.

We don’t have social media so always so no too. We won’t see it so it’s literally only strangers seeing her photo. Anyway, it’s just a fact that she will miss out on group photos or an activity that is being filmed - it isn’t the end of the world. Until she can give consent herself it’s just one of those things!

At least half, if not more, of my DC's class at school are blurred out of photographs.

Someone on minimum wage will be working an 8 or 9 hour day. What difference does it make if they spend 20 minutes of it putting smiley faces over faces? Probably more relaxing than dealing with 30 kids.

You're not being unreasonable. They want to film for marketing purposes, which is also not unreasonable, but if you don't want your kid on social media, that is the beginning and the end of it. Your kid, your call.

I hate situations when the exception has to prevail and everyone else has to bow to them.
.selfish, entitled and self-centred.

Your kids sitting for 5 mins when filming would have coped. Instead, the others will find out from their parents that they won't get memory picture because of your kid.

Absolutely sick of this type of parenting.

You don't want her filmed. Perfect
We won't film her. So she steps aside a moment....
But no! Mum has big tantrum, protests unreasonably. School has no choice.
Everyone misses out because of your entitlement and unreasonableness..

Schools can't win with this type of parent.
YABVU. Grow up OP

They are being arseholes.

This sort of thing always makes me laugh. The same people who are up in arms about the school/holiday club filming or taking photos of their child are the same ones who stick their 6 year old in front a screen all day and give them their own phone by 8.

The real danger is from young children given free access to the internet where they can be groomed.

Unless you have good reason to be concerned about your child being identified by their abusive father then no one is interested in your kid. There are kids in bikinis, swimwear etc on loads of store websites that are freely accessible. People can take their own photos and videos of any old kid on the beach wearing next to nothing. No one is interested in your kid in their 10 second holiday club video.