AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

As I said! I’ve been there when this happens, multiple times. It’s a few seconds. You are so far out of touch with this, they walk around with a camera talking sporadic photos/videos. What, Do you think they set up an Olan Mills style photoshoot for a few kids making a bloody kite, or playing with the big parachute? Final version? Stop it! If they spent that much time editing for a ‘final version’ then they’d just edit said child out.

This is weird as my child got a yearbook with photos of him and friends, but zero are on the social media or website. So maybe OP just doesn’t want her child on social media.

Surely they can just block out your child's face? It's not that hard, they don't have to be excluded. I see loads of this on nursery and school social media. Just emojis on their faces or blurred out.

The entitlement is the weird club thinking it’s a right to photograph and film others children! A lot of us don’t have our children on social media at all to protect them. Why does this club need to be photographing them anyway? AI porn is a known risk these days. And to make the child sit out is spiteful.

Nobody is pushing OPs child into the picture.
Nobody at all.

The problem is making a song and dance and whining that your child will " miss out" because they have to step aside for literally seconds. There is no way the child will be excluded from activities. No way.

But hey, Drama... Complaint.

What is the actual problem OP has???

I’m not sure what you are wanting to happen? You don’t want your kid filmed, you don’t want your kid to sit out and you don’t want them not to film at all now. Short of buying your kid an invisibility cloak one of those things isn’t going to have to happen.

Batshit if them! I don’t allow any schools or businesses to photograph my children as it’s then typically used for newsletters and social media. They are being extremely unreasonable! My child’s school and scouts just block out his face before posting or try to have him facing away. With the rise of AI I’m even more strict. How the fuck would they manage if looked after children, those in DV situations or custody or children of higher profile people attended?
please make a formal complaint. I’d be removing my child asap if this is now stupid the staff are and malicious to punish your child! And for what? Free marketing using your child’s face

I'm shocked at how many people have said you are being unreasonable.
This is your choice and I would be doing the same as you. You don't need to explain to anyone why you don't want them filmed.

YANBU to not want your child filmed if you have valid reasons for this, but YABVU to say that they can't sit out. It's not fair on the others or on the Club. If other parents sign to say that photos are ok, then they can take photos of those kids only.

You can't have it both ways, there is a huge sense of entitlement there, stopping him from being in photos, then whining because he has to sit out of photos.

You are not being unreasonable to not want your child photographed/filmed if thats your choice.

YABU to complain if they’re asked to sit out for a few minutes whilst they take photos/ film. Now all the other parents miss out.

My children go to holiday clubs because i am at work, i love seeing what they’ve been up to because if i ask them its not reliable, the same as when they’ve ‘done nothing at school’ all day.

@GlasgowANN definitely nu. You don't know where those photos will end up. Probably all over social media given most people plastering their kids everywhere. You should feel proud of protecting all those other kids from being photo'd and videoed!
Too much life is wasted in watching it pass through a camera lens.

I would check GPDR regulations for taking photos and videos, I suspect they need your permission to publicly use them for publicity and promotion of their business.

https://www.gov.uk/data-protection

Having said that, we find ways round it when we have people we can't photograph and we wouldn't exclude them.

@Dharmamother I agree there.

For me, it sounds like the club tried to sort of push the OP to either accept the photos or to leave the club (because no parent wants their child to be excluded).
And when the OP said No to that, they went for the ‘oh well we won’t even try then’. And point the finger towards the OP for the lack of photos.

Whereas when you look at all of those photos, it’s clear one child is never on all the photos. Actually I’ve often disappointed to not see my child at all.
And then you can blur, put a sticker etc… with all the tools available nowadays (esp with the new AI tools), it’s not hard

So what exactly do you want the school to do? Go back to 1988 when the internet wasn't invented and photos were more secure? You're well within your right to not want photos or videos taken but it sounds like the school have been more than accomodating. You either have to suck it up and allow footage to be taken of your child but on no conditions should it be shared publically (perfectly reasonable and safe IMO) or you need to say absolutely no footage of your child and accept that either your child will be inconvenienced if they're occasionally asked to step out of a shot or the 99% of other families are going to be inconvenienced and maybe annoyed as they won't get to see what their child has been up to (also reasonable but reasonable for the parents to be annoyed as well) What exactly do you want? You are within your right to make a decision that you think is right for your child but it's not really anyone else's job to make that decision an easy one.

My children arent pictured..
I used to let them sit out for the video or picture, until dd told me they were stood there like lemons for ages while the right shots were taken.
So now I just say put a smily face emoji over their face and crack on.
Its for safeguarding not other reasons so shoes/clothes dont matter as perpetrator would have no idea what they wear now.

Not unreasonable. I’m a teacher AND I have my own child I will never give photo consent for. There’s far too many weirdos and vile AI users to even think about posting my kid on the internet. As a teacher if a child doesn’t have photo consent (there’s always at least a handful in every class I’ve ever taught) then I just carefully take pictures around them or do group shots with them at the side so I can crop them out etc. No excuses to have a child miss out on anything.

It is exactly emotional blackmail “ oh your child will miss out” “other parents will miss out” if you don’t consent to make your child appear in our marketing shit.

Nobody should be pushed and coerced into appearing in pictures for marketing or personal SM feeds. Nor should the child miss out on paid for activities because of said photography.

If they want to photograph then they need to put in the extra work to do the job properly. Its also not impossible to blur in a video - its editing.

Also what further bugs me is that they’re basically just doing it to promote their activity/business/school using your child as free marketing material. It is really of no benefit to your child to have their photos used in this way and plastered all over the internet permanently without their consent. Then parents buy into it for ‘memories’ but these do need to be on social media, photos and video could easily just be shared with parents directly, and how many updates do parents really need?

Come on. It won’t be a few seconds. They’ll ask the children to start the activity. They’ll have to organise things because it’s always messy. Then they ll start the activity. They won’t stop a game a few second for a child sitting it out. It will go the end. An activity like drawing might be easier.

But what it’s nt ging to be is a few seconds because that’s what you see in the final version. There has been much editing and cutting before that

YANBU for not wanting your child to be filmed. There are many reasons and they’re all valid. I also don’t allow my child to be photographed or filmed.
I think school and various other settings are just way too obsessed with photos/videos and documenting every moment on social media. As are plenty of people in daily life who for example have to take a photo of their meal before they eat it and film a whole concert instead of dancing. There’s absolutely no need. If people really want to do that in their own life then ok but to start to impose on activities for young kids (making them miss the activity, feel left out, or be constantly moved to the side for endless photos) then it’s just craziness. It misses the point!!

They can easily take a few pics of kids who have given photo permission and send to those parents if they wish, and/or take the odd group pic but anything beyond that is just excessive. Nobody needs to see what their kids are up to every second of the day.
You can be clever with photo angles to leave out kids who aren’t to be photographed, or just pop an emoji over their face if parents happy with that. And that would only become a ton of extra work is if you’re taking excessive photos. It’s no big deal if it’s the odd photo, which is all it should be as that’s all anybody needs.
The world has honestly gone mad with all this rubbish!

It’s not hard for them to blur out or put a smiley over your child’s face. You are paying for these activities so don’t accept that they will make your child sit out

I help run a youth sports club, we have a few children who can't have their photos uploaded, but their parents allow us to take the photos and add emoji's over their faces so that they children aren't treated differently, would this be an option?

TL;DR is someone wants to leave a club, but still enjoy all the benefits.

I volunteer with an organisation that does music and movement/arts activities with SEN kids. Tbh if every parent/carer said no to photos and videos we'd be in a pickle. That's because we need to evidence our activities to funders in order to be able to secure funding in order to operate.

Having said that, we find ways round it when we have people we can't photograph and we wouldn't exclude them.

So it's a shame you said no because I don't know if they are dependent on pictures in the same way we are. But also they should be finding ways round it.

I've explained up thread...some parents will not accept blurring because " you can see her clothes/ shoes/ hair" whatever. And impossible in a video.

And the emotional blackmail claim is tosh.
It's poor behaviour of parents to make a drama where there isn't and impose their own wishes on others.