AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

@Wishingitwaswinter

I’m aware someone could take photos at a beach or swimming pool but I don’t think “it might happen somewhere else” is a reason to stop caring about the situations we can control.
If I can reduce the chances of my child’s photo being shared more widely without my knowledge or consent, I willI. Every parent has their own boundaries, and I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

There were several looked after children in sons school and school run summer club; they didnt have to sit out when videos (or photos) were being taken, the person doing it just kept them off camera.

Nobody has said there aren't valid reasons to not want your child photographed, literally nobody.
The issue is the OP didn't want their child 'missing out' whilst the photos or video were being taken of children who's parents wanted the photos. So as a result no photos or videos will be taken. So all those parents who actually wanted a photo for keepsake could not have one, so the OP could avoid explaining to their child why they would have to sit out the group photo.

what this boils down to is the OP didn't want their child to feel they were missing out on something, when that something was something their parent didn't want them to do. As a result, no child got to do it.

The focus of the club should be on the activities, not the filming. What do they plan to do with the video? No child should miss out because of filming. Are they very young kids? As a parent of an older child I’ll happily see photos but video isn’t necessary.

Are you saying the same thing to schools too? Or do you accept that they manage to get photos wo asking the children that can’t be photographed to sit out?
Do you also accept that not all children will show on the photos anyway?

I enjoyed the photos sent from school trips and activities, saw no problem with it.

when creeps get images of children maliciously, they aren’t really interested in their faces and can edit different faces onto the body anyway.

Surely that is the exact reason why the important part is the face? In which case blurring or a sticker is enough.
Because, unless the child has a very obvious sign on their body that separates them from others (let’s say they have a limb missing), the body doesn’t matter.

I feel sorry for the club, people like you make such a nightmare for anyone to run activities that at the end of the day you benefit massively from, maybe next year they wont organise it and you can do your own childcare.

Where are the pictures for?

I would be upset if because of 1 parents no video/pictures were taken off my children. If they were just for use of sending them to the parents. for social media I would be a bit more wary

I'm 100% with you not wanting them filmed .. but surely you should accept they will just have to sit out if things are being filmed. You can't have it both ways!?

YANBU. You have booked and paid for a holiday club, not signed your DC up for an advertising campaign. IME the company do not want to take these photos out of the kindness of their hearts to keep parents happy and updated, they want them for free advertising to plaster here, there and everywhere.

Why are yoy against your fully clothes child being photographed?
Anyone who comes up with the whole pedophile issue, clearly most avoid swimming pools, beaches, and just walking down the street because anyone can see your child or photograph them with their mobile.

It’s fine to say you don’t want your child photographed or filmed. Other parents do (I’d like to see what mine are up to in an activity I’m paying for). It doesn’t mean hours of filming, but if you don’t want your dc photographed, they can’t be in the photographs. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s surely obvious, right?

Fwiw, blurring and emojis over faces are easily removed by editing apps. And frankly, unless you have a stalker who is specifically trying to find where your children are on a given day, when creeps get images of children maliciously, they aren’t really interested in their faces and can edit different faces onto the body anyway. Better to not have their images captured at all, in which case, yes, they need to sit out.

That’s what I said. It’s too much hassle so staff don’t film or share photos. Much less stress all round.

YANBU to not want your child filmed but you can’t have it both ways. The natural consequence of that is that they have to stand aside for a few mins whilst the photo/ video is taken.

Exactly, I completely respect that some people are fleeing abusive situations/foster carers and can't have their child filmed (honestly not sure what happens when they're at the park and other families are filming their own kids, as it must be impossible to always avoid being in the background of these videos which might well be put online-it must be very hard) but you can't stop others having videos.

What other solution do you expect?

Seems unfair that other parents can’t see the few minutes of footage of their dc. They have even stopped doing class photos here because people complained their dc were excluded from the class photo (because parents said they wanted no photos) was easier just to not do them

Then they don’t need any child to sit out because they can just chose an angle where the child isn’t there right?
Because nothing in what you’re describing is requiring the child to be on the side at all.

Assuming of course that they do things exactly the same they do at the events/summer class you’ve attended ofc….

Which doesnt seem to be the case as they specifically said the child would be asked to stay on the side. Whereas for a few seconds, id just have said 'yes thats fine. well get organised around it'

Well done for protecting your child’s privacy.

Id be having very strong words with the organisers about their attempt to emotionally manipulate you into giving permission.

I’d be reminding them of the school who were blackmailed with AI generated indecent images of children taken from their website.

It is perfectly possible to film and photograph an activity capturing only those children with permission.

Firstly, you’ve just made that up and secondly, of course it benefits your child. Without marketing the club wouldn’t run, there’s even a possibility they only signed up themselves based on the marketing they saw of other children having a good time there.

@GlasgowANN why can't they take photos then put a smiley face over your child's head?

Thats what schools who use social media do.

It's a little tricker with video so surely they can just video the others or your child can sit out for a couple of minutes?

You can't say no knowing that excludes them AND complain that they'll be missing out. Just decide what's more important to you. Some people have very good reasons for no photos.

You are not unreasonable to request that they don't use your child's image in photos or videos.

What are they using the photos and videos for? Is it for sharing the children's day with parents and guardians? Promotion on social media, print media etc?

They should have safeguarding policies and training in place along with their risk assessments so that names and faces aren't shared publicly.

There is the additional concern in the current tech climate about data farming and AI which is increasing the levels of concern around the sharing of children's faces.

Children who are being fostered, adopted, or any other looked after children, will have very good reason for not wanting their face photographed or videoed to be shared.

It is very, very hard in the moment to try taking photos or video of a group of moving children if several aren't allowed to be photographed or videoed. Yes the emoji stickers can be used on faces, that's extra time and energy on top of everything else and it's much more time consuming and challenging if it's on video.

I can see you've had some very emotional responses from parents above who want to and like to see photos and videos of their own children taking part in school, holiday clubs, activities etc.

I think the suggestion that the setting has put forward briefly removing your child from a space or activity that is being photographed works is a reasonable compromise and your inflexibility is why your post has annoyed people.

We have changed our approach in school so any public facing images or social media doesn't include any faces. I had a similar approach in my last job which included promoting workshops and opportunities for people of all ages. Also on the blog I used to run and the connected social media accounts. Not using faces did impact negatively on how my content performed but there we are. I'd use images of children's hands in a tactile activity, or of moving feet in a dance class. It's enough to suggest the activity and the age of the participants but stopped there.

Photos are easier to ask people to step out of as it's a couple of seconds at most. How long are the videos and what are they being used for?

YANBU - you probably have a valid reason.
I think it's a bit unreasonable of the club saying "everyone misses out" because it's not filmed. Not true. Everyone still gets to participate. I'm not sure why these clubs are so obsessed with filming everything. Not everything has to be documented.