AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

So you’ve got your own way…at the expense of every parent who would LOVE a photo or video of their child at summer camp.

Good for you! Well done! 😖😵‍💫🤦‍♀️

Are you happy that you’ve spoiled it for those parents 👌🏻

I've read to page 6 and so far, nobody has thought that maybe the majority of parents didn't give consent hence them not taking photos or video at all.

It's pathetic that it needs to be photo/video evidence for funders, really. They should accept other types of evidence.

I’ve not got a single photo of my two children in their Christmas plays over the whole of their primary school education. All because some parents have said they don’t want their child photographed. I get that. But the majority then lose out. Standard practice in the UK.

All depends on the context. What are they filming/photographing and how will it be used? If it's for social media or marketing then I wouldn't want my child involved. If it's a project that the children are working on and won't be used online, I'd say you are being unreasonable because now no one can do it and they have to plan something else.

Completely unreasonable to not want photos or films with your kids

Ridiculously entitled to expect everyone else to be impacted by your decision and refusing for other children to be filmed.

Why do you think you are so special? So embarrassing for your child. It's such a non issue to ask a child to hold an ipad or help out somewhere when the others are being filmed.

You can withdraw permission but how they work around that is up to them. I’ve seen it where they make sure kids without permission are stuck on the end so they are easy to crop out of photos. I don’t imagine there will be many videos, that would be unusual but it is trickier to edit kids out of video so they would have to remove them.

Sometimes on photos emojis/stickers can be used to cover certain children.

They should be used to it at the summer camp and will likely not need to remove them often, but will have to warn you!

You're not happy with your child being filmed, but you're also not happy with your child sitting out for 5 mins while the other children are filmed?

What would you suggest to resolve this?

Why do parents expect pics of what their DC have been up to during the day- why? What for? If you collect them and they’ve had a great day, that’s great. Do you take pictures of yourself during your day and go through them with your child at pick up? No club is going to take pictures of your child crying and unhappy or not joining in the activity, so ask your child if they’ve enjoyed rather than needing photo evidence? Of course this is different if your child is taking part in a major sporting event or performance, but for a kids club- leave them alone to play and no need to consent for marketing for any club, that’s just embarrassing for your child when they get older.

Not unreasonable to not want them filmed.

Unreasonable to expect that they won't be removed from activities that are being filmed.

Why can’t parents take pictures of their own kids at the weekend? They don’t need summer camp photos. Let’s be honest, we all have thousands of pictures of our children on our phones, Im sure they’ll cope!

The OP paid full price (presumably) so her child should get the same access to the activities as the rest of the children.

I'd generally expect a summer club to provide parents with pictures and videos of what their kids have been up to through the day. If you don't want your child included in that then yes, they are occasionally going to have to sit out.

Did they make it clear what the filming is for? I'd be a hard no for socials but I do like pictures for updates for parents.

I am with you OP, don't need to know the reasons though can think of many.

In the days when film was the only photographic medium, people seemed much more selective.

Your child, your call.

There are a lot more risks then just indecent images, AI or anyone can quickly find photos of children on the internet. It doesn't have to be for anything sadistic, but those images could be used for anything and I wouldn't want the risk of pictures of my children being used by anyone else. It could be as simple as someone finding an image for a presentation they need. But if photos are uploaded to the internet then they can be accessed by anyone and especially by AI.

They could use their own kids, or friends'/families' kids, or even pay some child models. They could offer reduced/free places on the camp in exchange for some advertising images.

As an adult, I don't expect to be used as free advertising when I'm participating in an activity and I wouldn't want my child used for that purpose either. You've paid for the activity, you're a consumer, not a product.

I think it depends on the activity at the club. If it's a musical theatre summer camp and they want to film the whole performance so parents can share with family members, and they want to run the whole show with your child stepping out then you have a big issue.
If it's a general activities kind of camp and they want some footage of the kids messing round with nerf guns or take a big team photo, and for your child to briefly step to the side then fair enough.

I really can't believe this is the first time the camp have experienced a child opting out of photos. It really is very common nowadays. I would guess at least 10% of kids.

Are you sure that would be the case if you were charging them for it? It’s all free on social media too- the OP is the only one looking out for her child in this scenario. Why does a club have to take pictures anyway? What happened to letting children just play, why do they need to take part in photo shoots for social media and feeding AI?

Why on earth would you need photos and videos of your child at a summer club? Why do parents need photos and videos of bloody everything?

Drives me crazy. It's like trying to choose a nursery all over again. NO I DON'T WANT AN IPAD CONSTANTLY SHOVED IN MY KID'S FACE SO I CAN SEE THEM ON A SWING/EATING A BREADSTICK/PAINTING... I TRUST YOU TO JUST TELL ME IF I NEED TO KNOW? Baffling.

In my school we had a massive fancy dress celebration with a whole school choreographed dance to finish.

We took pictures all through the day.
Always careful to not include children without permission. No problem.

We finished with the video.
It was something the parents were really looking forward to seeing.
We danced twice. First all together and then I removed the kids who couldn't be filmed. None of them cried or protested or showed any signs of " missing out"

Hundreds, literally hundreds of parents got to see the video of the final act.
Should those hundreds have had to miss out for less than a dozen who do not wish their children to be filmed????
The majority of the parents who do not give permission absolutely understand the situation and don't mind at all that their child is moved out of the way of the camera.
Is there a screamy shouty family like OP who complain unreasonably? Yes. Tough titty. The kid is fine. No complaints. It's literally just the mother.
Am I going to allow them to dictate what we do as a school?
No. But I can understand the schools who just give in, because this type of parent is relentless.

YANBU. There are all sorts of reasons not to want to. Excluding children from activities due to consent not being given is against any guidelines (eg NSPCC) that I'm aware of.

You didn't mention whether this is for future marketing, general social media, or private sharing to parents (hopefully they told you which...) but frankly they need to have a policy that copes with consent not being given, and it basically comes down to framing pictures carefully and/or mixing up groups from time tom time so shouldn't need activities being done twice.

Many LAC or children under a protection order cannot be filmed or have photos taken. These children can't be excluded from activities either but you can be creative with the grouping for filming. Actual schools are very used to this.

I mean surely advertising is pretty important for any paid activity provider.

They should take the photos and delete any with your child in before sharing them. It's not hard, many places do it. They can do better than sitting out too whilst they do videos, have them in groups, remove bits they are in.

And each parent makes an informed decision based on that and other information. This is not the issue here. Nobody has any problem in regard to the decision made to not have photos. The reasons for that decision by a patent are always valid, whatever they are and are nobody's business apart from the parent and not open to question.
The issue here is that if you make that decision as a parent is it reasonable to then expect no photos of children that parent's have consented to be photographed, because your child will be 'missing out' when they are being taken.
The debate on reasons for a decision to give or not give consent is just a smokescreen.