AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

You are not being unreasonable, what is the purpose for the photos and videos being taken? I totally understand your point of view.

We’ve always been very cautious about photos being taken of our 2 DDs as they’re adopted. So IMO you’re not unreasonable at all.

No - you aren't being unreasonable to ask that your child's photo isn't taken, but you also should not be made to feel like you're causing an issue either. If the summer school decide on no photos at all, that's not on you. It's down to their confidence.

They are able to take photos of others and can do this without overly excluding your child.

It's not on you.

You never know who knows someone or what someone will do with the photos though, especially for children who are adopted or have escaped DV especially.

Not unreasonable at all! You have the right to choose how your child's image is used it's not that hard to cover over your child's face with an emoji or not take photos/videos on their table or group. Are the photos for social media purposes or for sharing with the parents?

No one is talking about "excluding" a child, no need to be dramatic.

They're not going to film or take photos for hours on end. It just mean moving a child or taking a break for a few minutes during the activity.

If they play football and a few were substitutes, no one would say they were "excluded" if they all take turn, would they. It's just those parents being precious.

As a film company, you are obviously going to be used to working around things like this.

We're talking about a summer camp type place here, probably (from experience) run on an absolute shoestring budget with min. wage staff. Clearly all they want to do is take a few pictures/videos of the kids to send to the parents and won't have the time to fanny about filtering kids out, cropping shots etc.

The choice will be either have the kids who can't be captured (for whatever reason) just step away for a minute or 2, or just not use cameras at all.

You would have a point if OP was worried their child was being left out of photos, the concern was that their child would have to stop doing the activity that OP has paid for them to do so that the organisers can get free advertising material. An appropriate response from the organisers would be to simply not point the camera at the child without photo consent.

My daughter isn’t allowed in photos to be shared by her school so they just don’t photograph her. She has never been asked to stop an activity so that they can photograph. The only thing she’s ever told not to do (and actually it’s normally her reminding the teachers) is not stand in group photos.

You're not unreasonable to not want your child photographed or videod. That's your choice.

You are being unreasonable by then complaining that they'll have to sit out when videos/photos are being taken. It's usually just a couple of moments when they need to step aside. I do this all the time with my Brownies. I explain to the child that their parent doesn't want them to have their photograph taken and ask them to help me take the photo of the others. It helps reduce the disappointment the child feels as, almost invariably, the parent hasn't bothered to inform their child of their decision.

Parents: if you don't want your child to have their photo taken, make sure your child knows that.

Lots of people being unfair to OP here, I work for a film company and we film big group activities all the time and miss out people that dont give photo consent without them having to miss out on anything.
Unless it is literally a group photo (which they dont need) theres no reason they cant film around the child. To make this work better it is useful if the child wears a bright colour or something that stands out (eg no face shots of the child in yellow).

As a parent, I dont allow my child to be filmed either despite what I do for a living!! There are many valid reasons why. People are naive to the dangers of kids being put on socials these days. AI can do terrifying things to images.

I don’t think anyone’s demanding anything, but it’s difficult when one side wants something and the other doesn’t.

I’m actually quite shocked at the amount of people on here who want their children being filmed etc. and demanding others who don’t sit their children out.

NSPCC guidelines are that children should never be excluded from an activity just because the parent doesn't give permission for photography.

Given the escalating threat of AI CSAM organisations need to rethink their policies on filming and photography in general.

YABVU

They have rightly offered a solution for you.

So because you don’t want your child filmed, every other child will miss out being filmed. Is that what you want?

It’ really isn’t all about YOU.

YANBU for not wanting your child filmed, but YABU for not allowing them to sit out while they filmed/photographed. I assume it would be for minutes only, but you could have clarified that yourself. They could still take footage at an angle or where your child isn't. No child will 'miss out' not being filmed or photographed. I doubt they would even notice or care!

Edited to say that when I commented I assumed this was for promotional purposes. Taking videos/photographs in this type of scenario for personal/parents use wasn't done when my two were little, but maybe it's a 'thing' now?

because those of us that work with kids know that is an unlikely scenario...those who dont want photo's and videos of their kids are in the minority. Their choice is 100% valid, but should not impact on others.

You’re not being unreasonable, if they can’t work out a way to photo/film avoiding one child, that’s their problem.
i suspect lots of parents have said no filming/photos, hence why it is too hard for them to exclude many people and easier just to take no photos.

Yanbu but I think your child should be kept to one side while they film and take photos of the children whose parents are fine with it. There’s a way to make everyone happy and this is it. If your child isn’t happy about being kept to one side you will just have to explain to them it’s because of a decision you made. And it is.

I wouldn’t buy a picture or a video with a smiley on it or blurred patches ruins the picture

I believe she can actually. She has paid for her DC to take part in an activity, therefore DC should be allowed to take part. If children must be photographed in order to take part, this should be made clear to parents on booking and included in the terms.

I agree, you can’t have it both ways.

Why did they need to be filming children anyway? What were they planning on doing with the video and photos? The fact that they gave you an ultimatum of agreeing to your child being filmed or she wouldn't be able to participate is bonkers.

Now they've said there won't be any videoing or photos. Which is a good thing. I don't understand the assertion that all the kids will be missing out now though. Missing out on what exactly?

When my DCs school started using SeeSaw, AI was less developed. There was a risk that other parents might download pictures at the end of the year and post them on social media, but that is pretty much where it ended- so unless someone had reasons to be anonymous, it felt reasonably safe.

Now, however, AI capabilities mean innocent images of children can be doctored to produce indecent images and then shared. In all likelihood that won't happen but I can understand why people don't want to take the risk.

Thats on the school for not having v basic filming knowledge

Your wish to not have your child in photos shouldn't trump other's wishes to have photos of their children. You absolutely SHOULD be ok with your child being sat at the edge when photos are taken if you do not want them in photos.