AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

So sad. Just because people think they have the right to have everything that's videoed or photographed stuck on their socials. No regard or thought for real life impact

There is a huge difference between perhaps appearing accidentally in the background of a photo in a public place, and being photographed or videoed within a setting that allows you to be fairly easily located. It isn’t as hard as you’d think to track down children from social media photos - without going into identifying detail, one little girl in foster care who I taught had to be relocated after being in her “home” for almost four years due to a social media post.

YANBU, presumably they want the photos and videos so they can upload to their SM accounts but a lot of parents don't want pictures of their children on SM and don't even post pictures of their children on their own personal SM accounts which is completely understandable. Ridiculous that it was suggested that the OPs child should sit out some activities because they don't want pictures and videos of their child on the internet

Yanbu to ask that photos and videos aren't taken of your child. I do feel you are unreasonable to be annoyed that as a result in that the school need your child to sit out for a very small bit when photos and videos are taken, your child would have hardly been missing out much.

I also don't allow my child to be photographed or filmed, I've had a few backhanded comments about what a shame it is from her teachers in her old school that were annoyed about it and occasionally they did take photos of her and posted them on social media and then huffed and puffed when I asked for them to be taken down but honestly I'd have never been annoyed that she had to sit out briefly on occasion.

I don’t know that anyone’s said that there’s a DV angle or other physical risk here. OP’s only posted once and didn’t say anything about risk in that post.

Leaving aside the OP’s circumstances, though, I see your point, but I’d suggest that if a child cannot be photographed ever, they ought not to go where photographs will be taken, not that the overwhelming number of parents of children not at risk are denied photographs.

In any case it must be very, very unlikely that a random photo will locate an at-risk child.

So again I ask you, is it reasonable that children who have flown DV or been adopted etc just can’t do certain things or go certain places because people can’t accept that children’s activities don’t need to be photographed or recorded? If you honestly think that is reasonable, then fair enough.

I’d say in a world of social media, ever evolving AI, etc, the sensible approach to me would be that everyone stops filming vulnerable children outside of personal or family events.

As I said, I agree with you that there’s too much photography and posting on SM etc.

But that’s just a reasonable grumble. It doesn’t account for a place that wants to offer photos, many parents are happy about it, but it can’t arrange for one child to be excluded from photos. The answer to that is not to go there, not to demand that everyone else falls into line with you.

Again. I’d suggest the organisers just say ‘here’s a refund, have a great summer’.

Being photographed or filmed should never be a requirement. Making it so means that children will lose out on experiences due to adult actions like abuse, domestic violence and needing to be fostered and adopted. Are we really so far into “it didn’t happen if it’s not filmed and posted” reality that needing a video of something trumps a child participating in an activity?

If it’s a requirement that a child’s filmed then don’t send the child there. If it’s about sitting out on occasions when pictures are taken that’s obviously different.

TBH, it sounds like it’s a requirement so if I were the organisers I’d just say that OP’s child can’t attend.

Why should children miss out because of an adult compulsion to have a camera attached to them photographing and videoing everything? What would you do in a school? The children without permission can’t perform in the shows? Or the assembly? Or run at sports day? Maybe the adults could chat to their children and ask what they did that day instead.

That’s a fair enough - general - point of view. I tend to agree. In general.

But that’s not the issue here. There will be photos and videos. OP doesn’t want her child on camera. OK. But then she’ll have to sit out. If she can’t sit out, because mum kicks up a fuss, and it’s all cancelled for everyone, that’s unreasonable. Massively unreasonable.

I don’t see this side. Why the obsession with filming everything? Previous generations survived without seeing every second of their children’s school life and hobbies being photographed and recorded.

Not always this easy. The coaches/holiday club staff may not be the people using the photos for marketing, posting on social media etc. the safest thing is to not take photos at all of those who do not have consent.

i work for a community organisation and we have multiple groups taking place across locations. The session leaders know the people at their sessions and will know who has consent and who does not. When they submit those photos to the office, we would expect that if they appear in a photo then the relevant consent has been obtained - the volunteer who posts content does not know who the people are in the photo. If they know the name they can check the system but it’s unlikely they would know each person when we work with 100+ people each month. If someone does not have consent then they are asked not to be in the photo- or that photo is deleted before sending in to the office if they happen to be on one. They are not missing out on anything at the session other than a second or two taking a photo

I don’t see the other side to the AIBU.

Are you being unreasonable for demanding that everyone else’s enjoyment is spoiled just to suit you? I’d have thought the obvious and only answer is ‘yes’.

yanbu to not want your child in photos , but Yabu to complain about them having to sit out of them, you’ve spoiled it for everyone

I think unless there is a specific reason it’s a bit strange. Nice photos for your child to have afterwards isn’t it?

On my summer camp email I got a reminder to "Remember to make sure to click to consent for videography and photography!" FFS, absolutely not. Hate the way they worded it as well

I work in a school. We ask parents to be mindful of what they share on social media. They are not. On sports day last year for example many parents posted video footage of full races to socials. This meant we had to do a blanket ban on filming and photos going forward so as to not exclude children. Should we allow the filming and remove children from their class races because they have flown DV/been put in long term foster care because of abuse/been adopted and relocated from abusive birth family?

Thinking back to my school days when parents refused, they would record everyone and sign a disclaimer to reassure those who do not wish to be included have their images deleted through editing. Now that was 20+ years ago. Whoever you're dealing with is being either a party pooper, manipulative or a creep...

🤦‍♂️Don't send your child to summer camp....SIMPLESSSS!!!

Absolutely unreasonable!jeezzzz they even said they'll do it Without your kids in them but you're still not happy!awful!

I don't give permission for this at my daughter's school either. She's been there three years now and it's never been an issue. At event days she (and others) wear a sticker that says 'no photos ' so the people taking pics don't do it by accident. And if they do then they know to edit her out

IRRELEVANT. If someone doesn't want their child photographed or filmed that's a good enough reason.

The summer club at our school doesn’t take any photos or videos 🤷‍♀️

Promotion, updates to parents, evidence fir Ofsted/regulatory bodies/funding.