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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder why a pensioner struggling financially would not use housing equity?

665 replies

Powerbungalow · 22/07/2026 10:29

I'm not being unsympathetic

Theres a lady on the news at the moment, saying how times are tough and shes only cooking one meal a week - imagine she's eating cold food.

One thing that stood out though "I own my own house and it costs in maintenance" Depending on where she is, would you not get a life time mortgage or sell and rent? She has a big asset, why not use it to have a better life? I know I would.

She may be holding on to it for inheritance, but she didn't say - if so, then can her family help. It just seems totally crazy

OP posts:
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Powerbungalow · 22/07/2026 11:51

Octavia64 · 22/07/2026 10:49

Selling costs a lot.

i have a house which is too big for me and by the time I’ve paid stamp duty and moving costs you are looking at 30k.

Would you have enough to buy a smaller house?

OP posts:
Lomonald · 22/07/2026 11:51

RunsABit · 22/07/2026 11:38

Do you say the same to young people saying that they can't afford a deposit for a house or flat in the South East/ tourist hotspots when housing stock elsewhere is generally more affordable?

Oh no they couldn't possibly move their "familes" and jobs are there, if only these old folk would just give them their houses or die. Either or !

Powerbungalow · 22/07/2026 11:49

For me - its the balance between warmth and food and i) People want to leave a higher value as inheritance, which would be reduced by lifetime mortgage or equity release.

I would definitely use an ER if it was available instead of being miserable - inheritance is a gift, not an expectation - and what do you think people spend it on? We have an inheritance from my lovely in-laws, and we are using it for a new car (which was needed, and i dont mean a brand new expensive one) and upgrades to our house, but if they had not been able to live in their retirement, I would much rather they had a good life than leave us money

I get the not wanting to move, but again, dont whinge that you have a huge asset and you're living on sandwiches in the cold

OP posts:
Dollymylove · 22/07/2026 11:47

Justaquestionplease · 22/07/2026 10:39

So you mean they would have to pay for shit they need with their own money rather than government money.

Well cry me a river.

I never saw pensioners up in arms when child benefit became means tested

Oh look another boomer bashing thread. Must hard with your free government funded child care, UC credits, maternity/paternity leave rights.
Why not pay for your own shit you need rather than government money

Cry me a river

AKADifferentName · 22/07/2026 11:47

Lilactimes · 22/07/2026 10:55

I know an elderly couple who have sold a large bungalow released half a million and are now renting rooms in an assisted living place. They have freedom but support if one of them falls.

Maybe renting isn't great but they certainly feel calmer and less stressed about money.

I think it's a real shame that this isn't an option for more elderly people. It would be great if there was some sort of not for profit organisation that could offer the McCarthy & Stone type properties on a rental basis.

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 22/07/2026 11:45

I agres with you about the equity release in a way, OP. My PIL have a 4 bedroom detached house in Herts worth £900k, and my DM is always saying to me that they should sell it and downsize to bd nearer to us (Norwich), with a lot more money. Given they don't have huge pensions, I can see the logic.

Big change to make though in your 80s though, after living in the house for 40 plus years. I can see why they wouldn't do it. It's swings and roundabouts, I suppose. Perhaps they would rather be worse off but in a bigger home. 🤔

Seymour5 · 22/07/2026 11:45

frozendaisy · 22/07/2026 10:40

@Tabarnak
Boomers as a generation are wealthy - the wealthiest probably ever
The Government can’t make policies for individuals.

Winners and losers at every age.

I’m an older boomer. 80. DH and I manage OK in our house and we’re ok financially as a couple. But, age and infirmity are creeping and a flat in a custom block with support would be ideal in the future. However, our house wouldn’t raise enough to buy private retirement housing, even if it did, our individual incomes would not be enough to support the ongoing service charges, once one of us dies. Then there is the issue of our DC trying to resell a retirement flat, some horror stories on here about those problems.

Our ideal solution would be social housing, ie a housing association, but most of those where we live let their properties through the local council, who have removed all homeowners from their housing register.

What a shame we scrimped for a very modest home, where we are now stuck. Wouldn’t touch equity release with a bargepole!

Sometimesitsmyownfault · 22/07/2026 11:40

I did an equity release and it was brilliant for me. When I sold the house, I did have to pay a penalty, but if I had waited a couple more years it would have been penalty free.
My mother did the same many, many years ago. After she died about 20 years later, the money was paid back and there was still a decent inheritance for 5 children. It enabled her to have a new car, repair her house and have little luxuries whenever she wanted. Equity release is not awful, it’s a means to an end.

RunsABit · 22/07/2026 11:38

FiveMetresUp · 22/07/2026 10:51

I agree with you. I know lots of older people who live in $1M+ houses yet are always moaning about not having enough money for essentials. Well just bloody move then! I have no sympathy for these people.

Do you say the same to young people saying that they can't afford a deposit for a house or flat in the South East/ tourist hotspots when housing stock elsewhere is generally more affordable?

Lemonorzo · 22/07/2026 11:33

It’s a regular thread on here about people not wanting to move.
Im 50, I’ve had the conversation with DH already, once DD has finally gone we are moving to a bungalow whilst we are young enough to do it/enjoy it.

My poor neighbour has just been returned from a care home as she was unhappy. She can’t however, get in and out of the front door because of the massive step. She’s living downstairs. She’s actually lived alone in there for a long time (we’ve been here nearly 30 years and her husband had died sometime before that and her children moved out).
we live somewhere where she could easily afford a bungalow. There was a scheme to build some one bedroom bungalows which would have released equity to.
MIL could have sold her incredibly unsuitable flat for something more appropriate, easier to keep and released a huge amount of money. Wild horses wouldn’t have gotten her to move though.

Lomonald · 22/07/2026 11:32

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePleaseBarista · 22/07/2026 11:29

Thank you

ACynicalDad · 22/07/2026 11:29

Tell me you don't understand compound interest without telling me you don't understand compound interest.

SakuraTea · 22/07/2026 11:29

frozendaisy · 22/07/2026 10:38

Equity release though if you are hungry and shivering makes sense.

If the family want the house why don’t they pay her gas/electric, you know look after mum whilst protecting their inheritance. A cold, unmaintained house is worth less after all and clearly there is no cash inheritance to help.

Exactly this.
If you are starving and cold then either

  • sell up and downsize
  • equity release and family kiss goodbye to their inheritance but surely they won't mind if it means you are comfortable
  • family help you out now in the hope of preserving their inheritance

I am a homeowner but so many younger adults I know are renting with huge student loan debt and I fail to see why their taxes should bail out elderly people who just want to cling on to capital wealth

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePleaseBarista · 22/07/2026 11:26

There was a lady on the news yesterday who said she was widowed after caring for her husband and left in a tight financial position in their rural home that she can’t heat. She can’t afford to turn on the oven, used an air fryer once every few weeks etc. She then went on to say she spends £50 a week on fuel to drive her friends into the local town as they don’t drive but she can’t afford to treat herself so she sits outside the shops.
She spends over £2.5K a year in fuel plus the running and maintenance costs of her car and racks up some serious mileage but doesn’t do anything when there - this is madness.
Her friends are local, they could meet for company and a cup of tea in each others homes and gardens, she could reduce her trips up town to once a week or fortnight if essential for shopping or have it delivered.

Wheresthebeach · 22/07/2026 11:26

Renting would be insane - expensive, and the stress of having to move if circumstances change. Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, so older people avoid it which is understandable. In North American and Europe the state pension is liveable, here its £12k per year which is about half the minimum wage.

yes downsizing is an option

tttigress · 22/07/2026 11:26

tttigress · 22/07/2026 11:24

I have heard some horror stories about equity release.

It would make nonsense for her kids to help out if they are going to inherit. But then that is not guaranteed if she ends up in a care home etc.

I meant more sense not nonsense!

LemonTT · 22/07/2026 11:24

FiveMetresUp · 22/07/2026 10:51

I agree with you. I know lots of older people who live in $1M+ houses yet are always moaning about not having enough money for essentials. Well just bloody move then! I have no sympathy for these people.

I don’t know any. I’m sure there are some but I have never met one. I live in a high cost area with lots of 1m homes. This isn’t the case for most of the country where 1m homes are few are far between. Pensioners in these areas won’t have 1m homes or large pensions because they will probably have been on low wages when they worked.

tttigress · 22/07/2026 11:24

I have heard some horror stories about equity release.

It would make nonsense for her kids to help out if they are going to inherit. But then that is not guaranteed if she ends up in a care home etc.

BoredZelda · 22/07/2026 11:19

sittingonabeach · 22/07/2026 10:39

It’s not always easy to downsize. Many older people want a bungalow but they are quite scarce and can be expensive due to plot size. Or will need a large amount of work and updating.

Moving is stressful, especially if you are on your own

I have never heard good things about equity release so would never recommend that

My parents are in this situation. They tried to seek their house but had very little interest. The house that would suit them rarely comes on the market. I expect they won’t ever move now.

Bjorkdidit · 22/07/2026 11:12

user1492757084 · 22/07/2026 10:43

Elderly should be able to eat and pay heating, water and rates using the pension.
They deserve to be able to keep their home. They saved for it and paid taxes.

They can. State pension is £1k pm. If they don't get this, they'll likely be entitled to pension credit. This more than covers the basics unless you're in a larger than average property and in that case, equity release or a lifetime mortgage is a no brainer. It's not necessarily expensive or 'a con' either.

And it's not a given that they saved for it or paid huge taxes. This is the generation many of whom bought a family sized property on a single low salary and many of them have seen lottery winning sized increases in equity. They often have choices that will never be available to younger people.

Lomonald · 22/07/2026 11:11

@Powerbungalow do you have a link to this womans story I did a quick search and can't find anything recently.

GasPanic · 22/07/2026 11:10

LadyLapsang · 22/07/2026 10:37

If she releases equity it will make her ineligible for a lot of means tested benefits and help. Basically this expectation punishes those who have saved and made provision for their old age over those who have lived beyond their means during their working lives. You could have two families on similar incomes throughout their working lives, one family spends on expensive holidays, cars, clothes, entertainment and perhaps has a non working spouse and / or someone who is self employed and haven’t made sufficient provision for their retirement. Why should those who have been sensible be penalised?

No logic to that.

Person a) saves all their working life and amasses 400K in the bank.

Person b) spends all their life and ends up with a 200K house and zero money in the bank after squandering 200K on holidays, cars and kitchens.

Person a) is eligible for zero help as the cash counts against them.

Person b) gets help because the house isn't counted.

Now claim that that is "fair".

sittingonabeach · 22/07/2026 11:07

Onmytod24 · 22/07/2026 11:04

There’s plenty of people have got real housing problems that cannot be resolved but this woman, no, she’s making a choice. She is choosing to keep her house over having a better quality of life.

How do you know that? Did it say in the article she lived in a big house?

pleasedontreinme · 22/07/2026 11:06

I lack empathy for this sort of person. It’s an active choice.