To feel really embarrassed by the damage I’ve done to my body?

@pleasedontreinme
absolultly massive well done to you
that can not have been easy at all to lose that much weight.

please don’t be negative about yourself.
you’ve probably just given yourself many many more years of good health now from losing the weight.

im not overweight however i have an ankle problem from tripping and chilling a bone and tearing a muscle and ligament 6 years ago which will need surgery at some point im sure as it hinders my job and walking long distance is painful so even non overweight people have joint issues.

you really should be so proud of yourself op

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed. First of all you can’t change the past, pointless beating yourself up about it (easier said than done I know).

Secondly 10.5 stone in 2 years is PHENOMENAL. What an achievement.

You’ve stuck to whatever you’ve been doing for 2 years. That’s a very long time to keep up the motivation. Lots of younger people have injuries they need to manage long term, whether it’s a sports injury, car crash, whatever. Just something you need to manage going forward.

Try and recognise that yes you’ve made some mistakes historically - who hasn’t - but you’ve done an incredible job of turning your life around and you should be proud of that.

What was the point in all your hard work then? Are you going to let shame over what you used to look like define you now? Loose skin is horrible, but layers of fat are worse.

Focus on what’s good here.

You've done so well. But re knees I had awful knee pain and my physio told me it was because my muscles weren't strong enough to carry my weight round my knees. She set me off on an excersise regime which I did combined with a PT and my knees are so much better.
I'm just over 15stones and 63 on Friday.
I used to only get 11kg on the leg extension machine. I can now do 32kg!! So my muscles take the pressure off my joints.

But hats off to you. Don't despair...you can get better.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

A significant proportion of people do some sort of permanent damage to themselves by the time they are 40.

It's something that you have to come to terms with as you age, that you can do permanent damage to your body and not recover from it.

I've got a bung knee from jumping down a flight of stairs trying to catch a bus, what's done is done, give yourself some credit for the things you have done to help yourself, and some grace. You're human.

It is what it is, try and shift your focus now onto weight training to strengthen your back and leg muscles. It will make a massive difference and help to stabilise and have less pain hopefully

My husband also damaged his knees in his 20s. - through running.

I have an acquaintance in her 40s who may need bilateral hip replacements - because of running.

This shit happens, sometimes at a much younger age than we'd want.

But you have done fantastically in tackling your weight problem. Focus on how wonderfully well you have done.

Go you x

@pleasedontreinme try and think what you would say to someone else in the same position. I would have huge sympathy and empathy for them and be very impressed that they'd made such a significant change. Try to challenge the negative self talk when it starts and list all the benefits of losing weight and all the achievements that you have made. It's hard work to challenge that kind of negative self talk but it's worth trying to.

My BMI was 50 two years ago, it's now 25. I have some loose skin, it's not ideal but it's significantly better than being BMI 50 still. If the skin is really difficult, you could consider surgery and start to plan for how you might achieve that.

Well done on the weight loss that will help your knees

what will also help is finding the right set of exercises and getting your exercise levels right up - that makes a huge difference.

eg https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/muscle-bone-and-joints/leg-and-foot-problems-and-conditions/exercises-for-knee-problems

but also think long term - weights classes and yoga

the stronger your legs and core - and think balance ( small muscles ) as well as the obvious stuff - the more likely you can actually stabilises your situation and avoid deteriorating

it is possible. I have knee damage caused by injury whilst young and the most likely outcome was knee replacement by now - because most people don’t bother to put the work in. I think you have it in you to do the work.

Flip this. You’ve actually taken control of your future.

Please don't use words like "disgusting" - you were in a situation. I am sure there were factors that caused your weight gain, whether that be physical health issues, mental health issues or something else you were grappling with. You got through that.

I understand it is hard, but I would really encourage you to try and reframe your mindset - look at the scale of your achievement- you have lost a notable amount of weight, improving your health in the short and long term. That is amazing.

Sometimes we need to be kinder to ourselves, and forgive ourselves for our past mistakes - focus on the future.

Turn that frown upside down OP!
Look at this as a gift: you’re very young and the body is a miraculous machine. Countless stories of people defying the odds and overcoming huge physical limitations.

None of us are invincible and by the time you’re 60 who knows how good the bionic knees will be?!

The point is you have taken responsibility for your health.

You could have been a gymnast or ballet dancer and ruined your body that way.

I have knee problems (bad ones!) from injuries. I don’t listen to the consultants too closely. It’s AMAZING how well knees can be rehabilitated - don’t start doing weird druggy stuff but look up decent physiotherapy programmes online and take up sports that support your knees - strong ankles and hips will help enormously.

Make sure you have a collagen rich diet. Also don’t neglect magnesium and vitamin D. These are really important.

Walking, swimming, cycling, and if you can afford it a Pilates class -or at least yoga in your living room. Then build up to doing whatever the physio says you can achieve - you’ll want to load your quads and build those NOT put strain on your knees. so maybe in a few months squats, lunges, wall sits, exercise bands to build resistance. Cheap and easy!

I feel a million times better for exercising and whilst my knees click and grind and ache - some days I’m pain free. Which seemed unimaginable a few years ago.

Absolutely this. What’s done is done. You’re doing amazing - keep going.

While I do understand you feel bad about it, as others have said you’ve made fantastic progress so focus on that
also two things

1. My OH used to be a seriously competitive kick-boxer. Super fit etc as well (and still is at 50). His knees are also buggered because of the exercise and he needs both replacing really. So you could have done what everyone thinks you’re meant to and ended up in the same place
2. this feels another situation where parents, being too kind about this sort of thing, have massively let you down (unless you added all the weight from 16)

Thinking about knees in particular, I know people who are very fit and exercise who have wrecked their knees just in the course of daily life. Knee joints are probably the most vulnerable joints to accidental injury or wear and tear, it's a complex joint and takes a lot of load for everyone. Particularly when you add in any turning or twisting motion.

Possibly needing a knee replacement by the time you are 60 is not at all "ruining your future". If you do need a knee replacement, then it can be done and you'll be up and running again in no time.

Wow, you are amazing! Can I ask how old you are? Turning yourself around like this is fantastic and very motivational.

OP, keep your eyes on the role models in this thread! Often the healthiest people in middle age are the ones who have made a conscious choice (like you have) and really appreciate what they have got. I have a feeling you will look back at this as a sliding door moment. You can feel shame and despair about the damage done and give up, or you can resolve to turn yourself around and be the person you want to be. The body is amazing and it’s never too late. You are young!

Don't think like that @pleasedontreinme - change the thoughts to how well you've done to lose all this weight in 2 years. It's an amazing achievement. I need to lose 2 stone and I struggle a lot with it and keep going backwards and forwards, up and down, it's hard. For you to manage 10 stone in 2 years is fantastic and you should be very proud of yourself.

Also, try not to think about your knees - think about all the other health problems you have prevented like heart disease and diabetes. When I was 25 I used to love outside running but then I damaged my hip and had to get a hip arthroscopy. I've been told I may need a hip replacement in the future but I'm trying to stay positive and change my attitude to exercise and diet. After I damaged it I unfortunately stopped exercising for a while and "gave up" in terms of eating healthily and hence why now 15 years later I'm still struggling to lose weight. When I read about people like yourself I feel inspired, so thank you and don't let the negative thoughts penetrate.x

I understand how you feel - I had a BMI of around 52, and I sometimes feel ashamed that I let myself get to that stage.

However, you have done so well losing all that weight - that is a huge achievement and something you should be proud of. Had you not lost the weight, the end result to your knee could have been worse.

You haven't ruined your future. It's not pathetic. Yes, it's a consequence, however, you're taking active steps to ensure you have a better future by losing weight. Be kind to yourself and recognise what you've already achieved.

Being a failure is doing something to yourself
blaming others and doing nothing about it

you are doing the opposite you’ve grasped the nettle taken ownership and doing something about it
you should be proud of yourself rather than ashamed

I’m sorry that you feel embarrassed- as PPs have said, you should feel incredibly proud of what you’ve achieved.

Regrets are hard to live with but we usually make our peace with them eventually. I suppose one way to look at it is to think about how much worse things could have got had you continued to gain weight or stayed at your heavy weight. At least you acted when you did.

I have regrets about my dental care (and sweet-eating!) in my younger years as I am paying the price now in middle age. Likewise, I should have looked after my skin better when I was younger- the damage from the sun doesn’t look as good at nearly 50 as it did as a tan in my youth 😂 I wish I could go back and do things differently but I can’t, so I just remember that I had fun along the way and try and educate my children about looking after their health.

Be kind to yourself. Weight gain is hugely understandable and can stem from all sorts of trauma and stresses.

I wrecked my knee by gate vaulting in high heels while drunk. Now that was stupid!