AIBU to be upset after he turned off my work laptop?

Or maybe he’s just fed up of things being left on all the time…

He shouldn't have done it, but surely the more pressing issue is that he's told you he wants to divorce?

I’d take him up on it (the divorce).

Is he deliberately sabotaging you?
This is a thing. If he is worried you will be better qualified, possibly upsetting the balance in the relationship?
Is he worried you will be more independent, a better catch, meet interesting people? Anything like that.

My ex was just about ok when I was a dinner lady among kids and women, when I went to work in a shop it unleashed a storm of sabotage.

My DH wouldn't leave his work laptop on at night so if it was on, I'd assume it was a mistake and shut it down.

It's not a malicious act.

But again, not an issue when people save their work as you always should.

That's irrelevant. There is clearly more to this story.

If that's your only reason for leaving the laptop on, surely it's easily remedied. Normally you will have had a warning about an update when you shut down at night, so download the update then and switch on early in the morning in case of any issues..

Hard no. My partner would absolutely never do that. I mean, how is it even considered helpful???

In that case, did you ask him to leave your laptop and don't touch it because of these reasons? Because if it can affect your career, it would be your respinsability to warn him and make it clear? Did you warn him and he still did it? That would be a different story...but anyway such a minor thing to go mad or divorce!

Shutting down your own laptop is normal. Shutting down someone else’s work laptop is not normal at all. Especially as he would have had some idea of her work schedule and why she leaves it on.

I wouldn’t dream of shutting down my dh work laptop, I don’t go near it if I can help it.
My work laptop is sometimes left on and dh asks me do I need it on.
We don’t go around interfering in each others work

Isn't it better to just have your laptop go into sleep mode anyway, rather than shutting it off and on all the time?

Seriously would anyone here who is defending the husband for turning off the laptop ever dream of turning off a colleagues computer in an office if they’d left it running ‘to save electricity’?

I’m going to assume the OP is now busy doing her course and not expect many posts from her for a while.

DH and I wouldn't think to touch each others laptops. If his was open and on charge I'd presume it was for a good reason.

Once you complete this qualification, will you be more senior/financially successful than him?

I don’t believe for a second that this was about saving a few pence of electricity.

But how is that at the forefront of your mind and not the divorce comment?

I was wondering the same thing. The entire post / title is about the laptop and OP's work, then suddenly right at the end there's a huge potentially life changing moment. But the OP seems to be completely ignoring it.

You do not touch another persons laptop, you might close it up as in push the two halves together so it goes into sleep mode, but you absolutely do not turn it off! But it just sounds like the final straw rather than the main issue here.

I mean, if it's that's critical to your studies you could also take a few extra minutes to get set up in the morning, and not cut things so fine. Presumably any updates pushed through overnight will need a restart?

But how is that at the forefront of your mind and not the divorce comment?

If someone had left something in I’d think I’d done them a favour by switching it off

has any of the work auto saved as a draft

She may not be in control of it if for some reason her company IT is pushing a lot of updates.

Makes no sense to me. So he heroically saves a few pence on electricity. Risking you falling behind and not completing the course as well. Next time you will go into the office so he stops interfering with your laptop and you'll have to pay for childcare, so that was a real saving!

No one turns off other people's computers knowing they're in the middle of work without at least checking everything has been saved. That's deliberate sabotage. Especially that his immediate response is that he wants a divorce.

Get your ducks in a row as quick as you can. You need to focus on protecting yourself in the divorce. Is there another room you can sleep in. Don't assume he's joking and stick your head in the sand while he plans or he'll fuck you over

I think this is about the training course and you getting promoted based on your newly gained qualification. I have a friend whose Dh used to try to sabotage any career progression, any training she did, any time she had to sit and write reports or essays. Very easy to see from the outside of their marriage, not easy for her to connect the dots.

Turning off a laptop should be done with the permission of the laptop owner. I would never close down any laptop never mind a work laptop. I think he knew that this would affect you today but wasn't quite prepared for your response.

Why would you switch off someone else’s work laptop? This sounds like control to me.

I’d phone a solicitor about that divorce today.

this sounds far fetched to be honest

It sounds to me as if he thought “Oh, she’s left it on by mistake, I’ll shut it down for her” and you went ballistic at him for doing you what he thought was a favour. My guess is that maybe this isn’t the first time there’s been a huge row over this kind of relatively small thing.

I suspect this isn’t at all about the laptop.

I also don’t really understand what you’ve actually lost? Don’t you save your work, have browser Favourites etc?

How many updates are you getting, having that many in a day over several days doesn't sound normal? You should be able to schedule updates to a time of day you need, get the update done then close down your laptop when it has completed. It sounds like you're not in control of your schedule.