AIBU to be upset after he turned off my work laptop?

Very strange that you have totally ignored the fact DH said he wants a divorce. Was this a joke? If yes, not funny at all and your marriage has issues. If no, your marriage is over. Either way it needs to be confronted.

I had an interview for a promotion. Now ex-husband had my car and KNEW that I needed it to get to the interview. There was no real importance or urgency to him having my car (and he could have taken his). He brought my car back with only JUST enough time for me to get there, and with not enough petrol in it. I couldn’t drive his as wasn’t insured.

He did it DELIBERATELY as he knew I would be stressed and therefore wouldn’t get the job, so I wouldn’t earn more than he did. He took great delight in me earning less than him, and called it the “pocket money” (£30k?!).

OP - it sounds like your husband carried out a similar act. Nobody should be touching your work laptop without your permission. Laptops do NOT use much electricity and do NOT need to be shut down each night.

Divorce him.

Its unlikely to be within the OPs control to change their company's approach for updates, this is similar to my experience - accept that she may need to leave it on for updates overnight!

@VividOliveBee has this course been taking over your life for sometime and he’s just sick of hearing about it?

What update are your talking about that would make you late?

I think you may be spiralling, doing too much that you can’t mentally cope with and your H is taking the brunt of it with you acting irrationally. Be careful, some Hs will stick around until you come out the other side, others won’t.

You need to communicate! this sounds like something else is a bigger issue.

Nah, he was doing it to make a point and he secretly hoped it would fuck things up for you. Is it about you bettering yourself, OP?

It is not normal to just go and shut someone else's laptop down, you have no idea what they're doing or running on it.

I rarely shut my laptop down, nobody in this household has ever turned it off to save a few pence.

He is a petulant prick, say yes to the divorce and you can have the house like Blackpool illuminations anytime you like 😎

So that he doesn't turn it off.

Not if it were a laptop, ffs!

Yep...I wouldnt touch my other half work stuff AT ALL

Your husband has asked for a divorce? Then divorce him sounds like a loveless marriage and life is too short for this misery.

He wants a divorce, sounds like the laptop is the least of your worries.

I’d give him what he wants. Get the ball rolling on your divorce asap. When he comes home he’ll be a happy bunny won’t he. I wouldn’t be letting him threaten me with a divorce. You need to follow through

sure the ff comment was more regarding the doom and gloom.

the way to deal with this if it's so critical, is to check everything is working in good time beforehand.

no need for DH to interfere obvs. but leaving the laptop on overnight isn't a guarantee at all that all will be well in the morning

Did he know that, though? Ie did he knowingly shut the laptop down after you had explicitly told him that you needed it to be left on? If so, this is obviously about more than the lap top - of not, then you need to work on communication and that (given he asked for a divorce) may actually also mean this is about more than the laptop.

Why does she need to do that?

There’s an ‘if’ in there. Turning off is the normal routine in your house, it’s not in the OPs or many others.

Not last thing at night if it is usually turned off.

My DH turns my computer off if I forget. Otherwise the fan runs all night.

But did you explain all this to him? Before.

Shutting down someone else’s laptop is quite odd.

I sometimes leave my laptop on for various reasons. IT hate it they always remind us it’s important to shut down every day so that any updates get pushed through. I always get teams message the day after asking me to reboot as soon as possible. But hey… maybe I’m just a rebel without a cause.

Anyway that’s irrelevant. Touching someone else’s laptop is weird, and worrying about electricity use is weird. I just googled it, laptops in sleep mode use about 5 watts, which is nothing. A fridge is about 50W, for comparison.

I’m not going to comment on the rest of your relationship as family is complicated, but based on this one isolated incident I’d say he’s being unreasonable, not you. And threatening divorce is never ok.

He's deliberately trying to sabotage you @VividOliveBee. Is he threatened by your career progression?

Well, yes. This is her future. He probably isn't.

I honestly cannot believe anyone on this thread saying that if they saw someone else’s WORK laptop left on they’d shut it down without even asking them. Some people on MN will say anything to be contrary. How dare he touch your stuff? If he wants a divorce over this, then let him have one. He’s a twat to shut your laptop down and a twat to threaten divorce over it.

My husband WFH 3 days per week and 2 days in the office. When he's at home, I don't touch his work laptop, let alone switch it off! The thought to turn the laptop off myself, wouldn't enter my head. If I thought he'd left it on by mistake, I say 'You know your work laptop is still on, don't you?'. If I saw it switched on, my first thought would be that there's a reason why the laptop is still on!

I think it's odd your husband touched your works laptop, let alone took it upon himself to turn it off. I find it even odder, that he never spoke to you prior to doing so.

More is going on here, in my opinion. Is your husband jealous of a potential promotion, on completion of your qualification? Do you currently out earn him? Could you potentially out earn him, with this new qualification? Is he controlling? It reads more like sabotage to me. The electricity usage is a pathetic excuse!

You don't even think of touching someone else's work laptop. You just don't. Would he bounce into your work office and do the same and to everyone, not just you, because there'd genuinely be no difference? And I say that as someone in a household with no sense of privacy over personal devices, email accounts etc. Work is different.

Maybe that's why you're so unfazed by the divorce outburst, he's already carried out a major transgression.