AIBU to be upset after he turned off my work laptop?

He shouldn’t have turned it off but good practice is to save work at intervals during the day and log off when you are moving away from the laptop. If you allowed it to log you out automatically it may not autosave.

Why not just let someone else's work laptop be? That's as basic as it gets.

You shouldn't have to tell someone to not mess with your work computer when they know you're doing a course that:s very important to you.

Yeah this story doesn’t really track.

1. Why didn’t you save your work? Especially given its apparent importance
2. Most things autosave these days and are recoverable. Can’t remember the last time I lost work because I forgot to save it.
3. Communicate. Given its importance surely you would have said to DH “Please dont close/shut down my laptop as there is a lot of important stuff on there I don’t want to lose”. Which to be fair if my partner had said this to me my first response would be see point (1) Why not save it if it’s so important?

You don't like each other any more, let alone love each other. Time to give up.

But why wouldn't you just say 'hey, did you mean to leave that on? ' , rather than deciding you know best and shutting it down?

Whether or not it should be left on is not the issue. Fiddling about with someone else's stuff is.

My point was that an overnight update which was prevented from running will run when you turn the laptop on.

You would turn off someone else's work computer??

Bloody hell.

If your partner had left work documents out, would you 'tidy them up'?

Its interfering and unnecessary. You could just ask them to do it if it bothered you.

You can google it if you want to learn more. A laptop has a lithium-ion battery, which poses a small fire risk and best practice is to not leave them plugged in, unsupervised, for long periods.

A fridge is designed to be constantly plugged in (although equally requires checking). As OP is on Mumsnet I can only assume she regularly dusts behind her fridge.

It's a work laptop. And yes, it's controlling unless you ask first if they're done and they are. If you're disrupting their work, that certainly can fall under controlling behaviour.

Shutting someone else's work laptop down is 💯 % not normal. Neither I nor my DH would ever do it as we might be interrupting ongoing work.

It is not controlling to turn off someone else’s laptop because you, likely innocently, thought that they were done or had forgotten to do so.

Nobody shuts down someone else's open work laptop without checking that the work has been saved, especially when they know it's important.

I think your marriage is done. Your husband deliberately tried to sabotage your coursework and he's asked you for a divorce. Trying to sabotage a course that can lead to increased work opportunity is controlling, so you might want to give him that divorce.

It's just work. It doesn't need to be even thought of outside of your work hours.

agreed no need to touch the laptop, but if the update starts at 8.50 anyways leaving it on overnight isn't going to help!

I didn't say it shouldn't be left on overnight!

I said (in other words!) if your future career ambitions are genuinely contingent on having a functioning laptop at 9am, check it's working at 8am!

But honestly I don't truly think that's what's happening here

Shutting someone else’s laptop down is not normal. It’s controlling, rude and unnecessary.

' due to the price of electric '...

WOW.

He can't afford the price then to start a divorce on line.

YANBU!!
basic rule- you don’t touch other people’s work computers!!

Definitely not about the laptop.

I think you may want to look at why you are thinking more about that than the fact you've your husband has said he wants a divorce. You need a proper come to Jesus conversation IMO.

My husband would never involve himself to shut down either my work or private laptop.
He'd leave it there or shove it out of the way if it was bothering him.
Id be very surprised if he shut it down... it wouldnt be 'normal' in our house.

It sounds like he was sabotaging your work and qualification.

He sounds at the end of his tether.

You're focusing on the lap top but what's really going on? For example has he said he wants a divorce before and you know he doesn't really mean it because you're remarkably calm about this? Or is this the first time?

Oh look op's husband has joined the thread 😁

No it isn't normal to switch a laptop off at night. I never switch mine off (it reboots itself occasionally, but it never gets switched off). I just leave it to go on standby / sleep. It doesn't use any electricity in that mode.

@VividOliveBee you should always lock your laptop (CTRL+ALT+DEL) when you go away from it for security reasons - you don't want to leave work-related information around for anyone to read - and in that mode it should look as if it's off anyway.

Oh and turning someone's computer off is absolutely NOT trivial. OP is quite justified in "going mad" over it.

As always, first post nails it.

We don't know what type of updates these are, likely cloud computing eg O365 do fairly regular updates, but the user is 9 times out of 10 able to select a time or time span eg outside working hours, in the next 1, 3, 5 hours. Where the update states This must be done now with no option to schedule it to a convenient time it's a one off, can be done quickly and then back on line and able to work.

I don't ever remember a time when there were so many updates that it takes hours away from work day after day. If done outside work hours or overnight, it's a simple case of "just so you know, my laptop is running an update so don't turn it off", definitely not the divorce courts! Or a postit note, don't touch this laptop!