AIBU to be upset after he turned off my work laptop?

Must be some other earth.

it is not normal to turn off someone’s laptop when they are doing a virtual training course via zoom, very heavy going for a respected industry qualification, doing at at home to save on childcare for the summer hols which already has it challenges.

Just because you and your DH do it doesn’t make it normal.

Neither of us would ever touch a work laptop. It’s against company policy.

we also wouldn’t touch a personal laptop. Either one of us might have something long running and will have left it up and going on purpose.

This is bizarre behavior on his part at all steps.

That's a hell of a last line... I'd have gone with a different headline.

That escalated a lot but my ex also told me he was living over a similar argument he was clearly just looking for an out (and I was 8 months pregnant so he needed to find a way for it to be my fault so he wasn’t the bad guy)

or unless its private browsing they should be in the history setting on most browsers

not sure on every computer but if the tabs are shut off eg internet explorer it can be set to reopen all closed tabs

usually on a laptop i changed the power settings so when you close the lid it puts it to sleep or hibernates both of those mean in seconds its up and running rather than waiting and updating etc

Estimate 14,000 house fires in the U.K. annually from household appliances. Around 1,700 from LI batteries. None of these come from leaving a laptop plugged in to it’s factory supplied charger.

You can Google it to learn more.

You have no idea what OP’s arrangements are for working remotely or childcare. When my daughter was young, I could easily do both.

As I understand it, OP isn't talking about e.g. documents that she's written that aren't saved, it's more like all the windows she had open that now aren't. So links to reference documents, the Zoom link or other emails or information that she was in the middle of reading that's now been lost. OP had no reason to bookmark or make a list of these things because she didn't know her DH was going to be "helpful". Now she has to try to remember all the things she was looking at and refind the links. In addition, any updates that would have been performed overnight now can't have been.

It's more like the equivalent of if someone had a large textbook full of sticky post its and bookmarks and you decided to remove them all to make it "tidy", rather than that you'd thrown the book out. The information is still there but there's still work "lost" because of the time needed to organise it.

Life gets much harder when you have to remember not only to ask someone to do something but also somehow come up with a list of things to remember to ask them NOT to do.

I don't shut my laptop down, it goes on standby when I close it and wakes up again when I open it, and everything is still there, although nothing as important as what OP has.

Your DH is an arsebiscuit.

In no way is it normal for someone other than the owner of the work laptop to shut down a work laptop top.

oP did he know you were keeping it running for a reason - because if he did that’s even worse.

id never ever dream of shutting down someone else’s work laptop

You don't seem bothered about him asking for a divorce

he has a point re the laptop. Its not good for them to be on so long & plugged in battery wise & its expensive on electric. So you are being unreasonable

you are also being unreasonable working & looking after children at the same time, esp if they are younger.

but the laptop is not why your husband wants a divorce its just a symptom of your marital problems

You have my sympathy. Contact providers and state there’s been a hardware malfunction. If the course offers any IT support use it , if not seek IT support so your laptop isn’t playing you up. Complete the course and get qualified. Ignore huffing and puffing from DH for now. Further your career and get shot of the interference either by putting him in his place or divorce.

It’s up to you if you leave it on. He overstepped and threatening divorce is awful.

Divorce itself as an idea, however, might be a good one. He sounds like a knob.

Mon dieu!

Different people, different ways...

Some people dont turn off devices at night and some people do. We do. Others don't

The point is it is not a malicious thing to do.

You said leaving it on overnight wouldn't help, but it would help if the update ran overnight and that was the entirety of my point, with which you disagreed.

Earth.

My DH shuts down my computer in the evening if I have forgotten. We turn PCs off at night.

Exactly

sure, don't know why you are making this point to me though, I've never disputed this!

I agree with you that it’s odd to turn off someone else’s work laptop and that he should have asked.

My issue is with trying to suggest that this is controlling or abusive behaviour from a partner and to encourage divorce when there’s simply not enough information to suggest that in the OP

I personally wouldn't touch another person's work laptop. But I would also save my work and remind others not to shut it off on a regular basis if it was such a catastrophe if they were to do so.

The divorce comment can't have come from this squabble alone?

What planet are you on?