Is my ex being an entitled cock lodger ?

Look for a new rental for yourself and the kids and get yourself removed from the tenancy of the house you are in. Then take the kids and move and leave him to it.

Well hed better start looking at other ways of financing his life.

Saying that as a disabled person, benefits for disability are not easy to get and more importantly take time.
If he had been working before, he also has lost the possibility for ESA.

Hes going to have to put his ducks in a row pretty sharp.

Well, now you are house mates, not partners, so he’ll be paying 50/50, won’t he? Like any other house mate would be expected to do. Disabled or not, life is not free. Sounds like high time he started to pay his own way.

Is the property adapted for his disabilities?

You need to start only paying for things for you and your children. Nothing for him. So no food, no toiletries, no nothing. You also need to do nothing which is just for him. No cooking meals, no laundry. This is really important because if you were married, you’d have to demonstrate that you weren’t still living as a couple in order to get divorced. Apply the same rules. Stop being a couple.
And you need to ask him for his percentage of all of the bills. He’s effectively saying he wants to be housemates. So he has to pay half. Otherwise, I’m afraid it might be simplest to give notice on the tenancy and you and your children move somewhere else.

Do they have the money to borrow for a deposit?

If you're paying for everything, just chuck him out and change the locks - he'll need whatever money he has to keep a roof over his head, so he won't be able to afford a lawyer. Would you be able to help him out with a deposit on a new place or something - the condition being that he gives up all rights to this one? Seems like a reasonable price for having this over with - better value for money than refurbing your dining room for him to squat in, anyway.

I know you said you don't have money for a deposit, beg, borrow it!! 2-3 months of unrest and scrimping, talk with housing anything but get out now, as every reason why you can't move now will still be there 6 months time.....
You will save money pretty quickly and emotionally you will be in a better place. Get your your house sorted and don't let him in for his time with kids, he's making it very clear your role is to support him through this, don't

Generally a bloke who feels that providing you with access to his cock is enough to get him a free ride in life and that the woman should pay for everything and do all the housework.

In this case, the OPs ex will no longer even be providing cock one presumes.

In view of the fact that you are separating he needs to be made aware that you will not be supporting him and he needs to apply for benefits as appropriate. He cannot realistically expect that you will continue to support him and that PIP on its own will be insufficient for him so he needs to exercise his own independence going forward.
Separate your finances so he can't spend your income and let your landlord know that you are separating and will be looking for alternative accommodation - he may have other properties you can rent. Then you can save for a deposit. If you are both on the rent book then ensure that he pays his half towards to the rent/bills.
If he refuses then allocate proportionally i.e he pays gas you pay electric etc - I wouldn't expect him to pay anything towards your children or help with school runs etc. until you are actually separated and can then go 50/50
As it stands him turning the dining room into his domain doesn't actually separate you from him and you are still paying the lions' share of the bills and nothing essentially changes. For your sake - the split needs to happen - physically, financially the whole thing. Good luck

Genuinely stop paying or doing. Anything for him.

Things like If you pay for the wifi cut his access off till he pays his share of it. Or just cancel it and hot spot off your mobile if you have a good package.

While everything is nice and comfy for him he won’t make moves to leave or to pay his way.

Ask the landlord if you would be able to serve notice on the joint tenancy and take it over as a single tenancy for you and the children.

Id try to aggressively save then to get a deposit together. Could your parents help with that as instead of Christmas/birthday present or loan?

Can you stay with parents for a couple of months?

How entwined are your finances together? Has he got access to any shared savings etc? Has he got access to any credit card details?

Might be worth speaking to your bank and having a new set of cards issued and keeping them away from prying eyes or when you do get yourself into a position to leave you may have joint debt to deal with

When is the earliest that you can exit the tenancy? Hopefully it’s not too far in the future. I would:

1. start looking for a new property for you and your DC asap (it seems like he doesn’t work? so hopefully you will be able to get a new place on just your income).

2. If you can afford to, start your new tenancy a week or two before the current one ends, so that you have plenty of time to move your and DCs stuff over.

3. Be prepared to either potentially lose some of your deposit, or to have to clean and clear all of his stuff out.

4. Be prepared to ignore his sob sob story if he does not arrange his own alternative accommodation - do not allow him to move into your new place with you, even on a ‘temporary’ basis.

5. Move into your new place and enjoy not living with a CL.

A bit more of a cock lodger when you have 3 dc together and a shared rental together. You cant just boot him out and its going to be expensive to move out yourself.

You set up a life together.

How does he plan to pay for all these luxuries?

Now he is your ex you need to remove any access he may have to any accounts you may have.

Cancel everything you pay for that is for him.

Tell him if he won't move out, you will. Start looking for places. He needs to know you won't just let him live off you.

Someone who chooses to let another adult pay for everything and not contribute financially to the household is as i understand it

Oh god @Bingobango86 just no to all of it

Just tell him no

that he can sleep in dining room whilst you work out how to not live in the same building but he’s a grown man you shouldn’t financially carry

so just no

and I expect you do most of the childcare at home
plus cooking, cleaning

he needs a realistic plan
so do you

he is the father to your 3 children time he starts acting like one and put them first which includes not bleeding their mother dry

separate your cash
make sure he doesn’t know your credit card number
change internet passwords if need be
don’t buy him anything extra in the food shopping (like specific soda or packets of biscuits)

DP or DH? As joint tenants, you can’tthrow him out, but you can give notice to your landlord due to a relationship breakdown (any reason really). That’s probably the easiest method of splitting up. I’d definitely separate finances so he can’t just order whatever he fancies. Move your share of the money so he can’t access it and if the Amazon account is your name/card, open a new account with a new card asap and delete the current cards. He’s taking the piss.

He knows you don’t want to be in a relationship with him, where you are paying for everything, so thinks you’ll be willing to give up your whole dining room to him and STILL continue paying for him?!

That is some very skewed logic there and it can be quite hard to reason with people who aren’t thinking at all logically! I think you will find it challenging to get him out of that house-can you have a chat with CAB about how best to approach this.