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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my dd (17) to get up?

111 replies

queenceleste · 21/07/2026 17:33

If you manage to get yours up - how do you do it?

I know it’s the holidays for her but still….. Whatever parenting I should have done - surely it’s too late?

OP posts:
Theworldsgonemadagain · 21/07/2026 18:45

My dd14 kept doing this in holidays, She went to bed late and got up late. We took her phone off her last time and her dad would wake her up at 10am on weekends. I've told her this holiday she needs to make plans with friends, she isn't going to lie in bed all morning. 10am I'll be taking off the covers. At 17 it probably is a bit late to instill this, does she have a job, hobbies, friends? Is she normally pretty good at getting up for college? If so then I wouldn't worry too much.

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2026 18:24

I expect if my dd goes to uni she will use her excessive charm to persuade a friend to have her phone in their room.

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 18:23

SilverPink · 21/07/2026 18:09

If they ever choose to go to uni at 18 do you think they’ll put their phones in the kitchen then? Genuine question.

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Of course not. That would be silly. Added to which he will be paying for it by then. However it’s just about knowing how not going on your screen late at night or as soon as you wake is a good thing and by then… they’ll have known the positive impact on sleep. If they choose to spend all night on their phone… that’s their call
but in our family home, whilst that mobile is
paid for by me - if I want to have a rule relating to it , then that’s the way we go

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2026 18:20

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 17:58

And when they’re 18?

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So with my dd, 17, leaving her phone outside her room is instigated by her. So, at 18, if she can, she will want to put it outside her room.

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 18:20

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 18:03

I don’t doubt any of that. There are any number of harmful behaviours that I would not have prevented my kids doing at 18, because they were adults, and it was no longer up to me.

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Maybe reread my post?

Tableforjoan · 21/07/2026 18:16

Unless I need him up for something he gets up when he gets up. In fact all of my children during the holidays get up when they get up unless we have plans.

I managed to get all my work done today before anyone bothered to come downstairs. Peaceful.

All baring the oldest were downstairs before lunch time.

BauhausOfEliott · 21/07/2026 18:11

Why would you be getting a 17-year-old up? If she wants to lie in bed until lunchtime, surely that's up to her? She's 17, almost an adult.

SilverPink · 21/07/2026 18:09

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:59

I will say you know the score re what pretty much every report about tech health; sleeping better etc etc says but your call.

i how honestly think they’ll just do it. It honestly just isn’t a big deal.

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If they ever choose to go to uni at 18 do you think they’ll put their phones in the kitchen then? Genuine question.

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 18:03

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:59

I will say you know the score re what pretty much every report about tech health; sleeping better etc etc says but your call.

i how honestly think they’ll just do it. It honestly just isn’t a big deal.

Show quote history

I don’t doubt any of that. There are any number of harmful behaviours that I would not have prevented my kids doing at 18, because they were adults, and it was no longer up to me.

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:59

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 17:58

And when they’re 18?

Show quote history

I will say you know the score re what pretty much every report about tech health; sleeping better etc etc says but your call.

i how honestly think they’ll just do it. It honestly just isn’t a big deal.

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:58

Harrysmummy246 · 21/07/2026 17:55

Yes but I often don't sleep well thanks to unmedicated ADHD so this in itself is something I'm grateful for. Sometimes ds sleeps in and he's then left as he needs it (ADHD quite possibly a thing there too)

He's 9 but we're all working on if he wants time on devices, chores have to be helped with. He didn't especially enjoy helping sort the online shop order today but mum and dad don't particularly either.

DH doesn't tend to be able to go back to sleep so gets up anyway but DS can sort a bowl of cereal for himself etc

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Sorry I am confused how this relates to getting teens out of bed?

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 17:58

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:51

For us all. Me including.

Can’t open a news report for advice that phones are left outside room at night and my sleep has improved massively since o started and also reading more.

we all leave in the kitchen

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And when they’re 18?

BoredZelda · 21/07/2026 17:56

IronEverything · 21/07/2026 17:43

I wouldn't have anyone in my home stinking in a bed all day. You get up, you have a wash and get dressed into clean clothes. It's non-negotiable.

What are you doing in bed that it is stinking? Sounds like you need to change your sheets more often. 👍

Harrysmummy246 · 21/07/2026 17:55

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:52

So you were recovering from being ill
right

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Yes but I often don't sleep well thanks to unmedicated ADHD so this in itself is something I'm grateful for. Sometimes ds sleeps in and he's then left as he needs it (ADHD quite possibly a thing there too)

He's 9 but we're all working on if he wants time on devices, chores have to be helped with. He didn't especially enjoy helping sort the online shop order today but mum and dad don't particularly either.

DH doesn't tend to be able to go back to sleep so gets up anyway but DS can sort a bowl of cereal for himself etc

BoredZelda · 21/07/2026 17:55

My daughter can get up any time she wants. Why do I need her to be up any earlier?

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:53

MightyS · 21/07/2026 17:41

My son has just turned 18. I leave him to it, hes an adult.

How long will you have the phone curfew for?

Edited
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We all do it.
I mean it is hardly cutting edge stuff
pretty much every report on tech health says no phones overnight
my sleep has improved massively since I started

oddly enough my teens don’t whinge about it. Just.,,. 10pm dump on kitchen table 🤷‍♀️

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:52

Harrysmummy246 · 21/07/2026 17:41

Umm, I didn't get up til 13:00 today thanks to a horrendous headache yesterday, I have no place to be telling DS (9) here. Yes, DH was with him, no I don't have work in missing

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So you were recovering from being ill
right

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:51

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 17:49

For a 17 year old?

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For us all. Me including.

Can’t open a news report for advice that phones are left outside room at night and my sleep has improved massively since o started and also reading more.

we all leave in the kitchen

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:50

Are you asking this now @queenceleste because at almost 6pm, DD is still in bed?

VestibuleWeaver · 21/07/2026 17:49

Oldgum · 21/07/2026 17:37

Does she have her phone with her or is she actually sleeping

I have a no phones in room from 10pm curfew so I reckon that helps because he knows if he wants his phone, he HAS to get it of bed

For a 17 year old?

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 21/07/2026 17:48

What does she need to get up for?

Moveoverdarlin · 21/07/2026 17:48

As a parent of children aged 6 and 8 I long for the days when my kids sleep in. Having got up no later than 7am every morning for the last 8 years I don’t care if they sleep in until midday.

WonderingWanda · 21/07/2026 17:48

Ds will get up if he needs to e.g. if he has a hair cut, is meeting friends or we have plans. Otherwise I let him sleep, I remember my own dm waking me at 11 am telling me I couldn't stay in bed all day. I never understood why. This week dd is on a course so up early every day.

Minnie798 · 21/07/2026 17:48

School holidays, I left them to it. I wouldn't expect anyone to 'get' me up if I was on a holiday week from my job. I don't do lie ins but you get the gist.

Bibbetybobbity · 21/07/2026 17:48

I couldn’t get riled about this. Honestly.