AIBU to raise a school safeguarding concern after a child’s comment?

But it’s not that is it, because she says ‘it was yucky ‘, and ‘me pretending’, which is not consistent with it being a video of her as a baby.

Definitely report it from someone who works in a school. Ask to speak to a DSL and explain to them what happened and what was said. This does not mean social services are going to turn up and take the children! I work in a school where there are various safeguardings every day. Just keeping students safe and giving support and building bigger pictures if required.

Report it. It's not your job to judge and nothings going to happen just because of this one report. But It's your responsibility to report it. You may be one of many similar reports that you know nothing about. And this builds a picture. Local authority will be the investigator here. If it's harmless then no problem anyway.

If in any kind of doubt report. Please, as a teacher, I always say if you have even the faintest niggling doubt then report it. School will have a fuller picture - there may be a whole host of other concerns that only the DSLs know and any concern raised could be the final puzzle peice that ties things together and which will help them judge the right course of action if needed. If there are no other concerns, then they will make a decision what to do with that information.

Reporting a concern cannot hurt anyone.

Not reporting definitely could.

General rule of thumb - if you’re concerned about ANYTHING then report it. Even if you think you shouldn’t.

It wouldn’t ring alarm bells with me. When my daughter was little she was always trying to latch on to whoever had hold of her. It happened to my husband a couple of times and I can’t remember if I got a video but I was always recording memories when the children were babies.

why are you concerned?

Report. Your gut senses it's wrong.

If it was harmless the father won't have a problem showing the social worker the video will he?

Report it directly via the LA MASH referral form. School will be asked for additional information if needed.

Report it as factually as possible, leave your emotions out of it but do explain something in your gut is telling you it isn’t right. You won’t be given any “updates” on if/what has been investigated, but it’s better to report and it be a false alarm than it go unreported and a possible situation get worse.

Clearly it’s odd - it’s ridiculous and that’s what makes it funny. It’s odd to me that it’s seen as sexual - but I’m assuming this is because I’m still using them for milk.

Also, ‘pretending to BF’ to me indicates there was likely no physical contact - which is how we have joked. Safeguarding a no contact mimicking of breastfeeding is so OTT.

‘Oh that does sound silly, was it when you were a baby?’

that is all you needed to say and then you would know whether to report or not.

It wouldn’t enter my head to report this tbh. It sounds like the sort of silly my DD at 5 would’ve done.

However, you were the one who was there then and I agree with PP saying, if it feels off, report it.

Why on earth would it be 'highly inappropriate'? Just sounds like a goofy kid thing to do to make their parent or siblings laugh. Nipples are not sex organs. Especially in men. Otherwise half the population would be arrested for indecent exposure every hot summers day.

Unclench ffs.

If in doubt report it. Pass it on.

You are never being unreasonable or over reacting when it comes to the safety of children better to be safe than sorry your doing the right thing reporting it.

If you DON'T pass this info on, then i'm pretty sure you will be worrying and wondering for years to come and full of regret
Report

You didn't film them actually doing it though I'd assume? A 5 year old actually pretending to BF from their dad would obviously be highly inappropriate. I can't see how you'd be surprised that that is a safeguarding concern. I don't find your 'joke' funny though either tbh, maybe if the kids said it once as a one off but not as some great family in joke. Just a bit odd frankly.

Report it OP, let the safe guarding lead at school decide how to proceed with it. Be completely factual and write it down in as much as you can.

Always, always, always trust your gut instinct on these things. If it’s innocuous it’s v easily and quickly explained away , if it adds to a v long pattern of just not quite right or slightly strange things at school it helps to create a full picture. Schools are extremely well trained in these things and as long as you report it clearly without any bias or supposition ( ie try and explain / remember exactly what she said and in the context of the circumstances) you are just looking out for a child’s best interests, which is vital !

I’m still breastfeeding my two year old and we all (DH, 8 year old, 9 year old, AND the 2 year old) laugh about instead having ‘Daddy’s milk’ as he’s so hairy and how yucky it would be. It’s so hot recently he’s topless during the heatwave more so than usual.

Absolutely shocked it’s so overwhelmingly seen as a safeguarding issue… I knew we were in the minority as long term breastfeeders but had no idea the joke is no longer funny if there isn’t a newborn around (we find it hilarious). Also surprised that the child saying ‘what are you doing’ is such hard proof she’s not around a breastfeeder. My kids would definitely still ask what someone is doing as at schools you really don’t see breastfeeding that often. Also if video is from a few years ago they may forget their mum did the same and they all joked about it.

This.

The general rule is that if you're wondering whether to report something, then you should, and let someone with training and a bigger picture deal with the decision if what to do about it. You know this girl and it made you feel like you wanted to tell someone who could help her if there's more to it than just a silly story or a half-remembebred video, so that's what you should do.

What words did she say that made it sound recent?

How has she made it sound like it was recent? The way you told it doesn’t make it sound like any type of timeframe.

Also the way she said what are you doing as opposed to I know what you’re doing as there’s me pretending to do the same makes it sound like she’s not sure what she is recalling.

Why school and not ask the parent she was presumably with? You would have cleared that up in no time.