Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband's overtime pay - what's a fair split?

264 replies

Debatingthings · 20/07/2026 21:29

My husband has been working overtime lately. Mostly late evening call outs.

He works 5 days a week and is usually out of the house from 8am-6pm ish. I work 3 days a week and am usually out of the house from 8:30am to 5pm.

I do nursery pick ups and drop offs on those days. I do most of the work getting our toddler ready in the mornings all weekdays. I also look after her on my two days off and do the majority of cleaning, cooking, laundry, food shopping, admin, and DIY in the house. He does garden maintenance.

When he does these call outs, he often misses the bedtime and/or sleeps in late the next day.

I have a professional job but dropped down to 3 days to care for our child, which I love and value, but ultimately have made career and financial sacrifices for this, which he has not had to make.

Our standard take home pay is roughly similar but he does usually bring home some extra money by way of end-of-day overtime each month, so his pay cheque is higher.

These late night call outs are new.

Out money is generally split equally i.e. everything paid into joint account then we have the same amount of personal spends each month.

What is a fair split of this late night call out overtime money? He has suggested 70/30. I don't want to be grabby but I feel he can only earn this extra money because I facilitate it. I sort of feel it should be 50/50, but... AIBU?

YABU = 70/30 or less
YANBU = 50/50

OP posts:
Walkden · 20/07/2026 22:07

"I have a professional job but dropped down to 3 days to care for our child, which I love and value, but ultimately have made career and financial sacrifices for this, which he has not had to make."

Did you discuss both of you going 4 days instead?

Or was your making all the sacrifices his idea or yours?

On the face of it seeing as you earn the same as him ( except for overtime) working only 3 days his dropping a day would have made more sense financially.

NoSausage · 20/07/2026 22:01

He cant do those hours without you so its 5050. Or he pays for alternative childcare like a nanny.

Left · 20/07/2026 21:58

Depends on your overall family budget - it’s hard to say without knowing more.

For example if you have debts then maybe it should be 50% to debt repayments and split the rest.

Or maybe put 100% of it towards a family holiday if that’s something you struggle to afford.

LizandDerekGoals · 20/07/2026 21:58

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/07/2026 21:34

Everything into one pot, money into joint savings and the same amount of spending money each after living costs and savings.

This.

TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos · 20/07/2026 21:53

Should obviously be equal.

Or you can get an evening job too and he can split the cost of a babysitter for the evening and morning shit when you both have to sleep in.

Jan24680 · 20/07/2026 21:51

I am assuming this is 70/30 in your favour to cover childcare and housework? my partner does most of housework, childcare and all nursery stuff when he's not working (he works away) I can only imagine the hell that would break lose if I turned around and said I am doing 3 hours overtime tonight while you look after the kids.

Pinkflamingo10 · 20/07/2026 21:39

Surely all of his earnings- wages and overtime pay - goes into the family pot ?
he wouldn’t be able to earn this without you-he’d be paying large costs for unsociable hours childcare/nanny
unless its all going in the holiday fund or your child’s account ?

rwalker · 20/07/2026 21:37

Seems fair 70/30 overnight call-out you’d be in bed for most of it anyway where as he’s still putting a shift in

Bristolandlazy · 20/07/2026 21:37

That's not very family minded of him. Why does he need do much personal spending money. Joint account surely.

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/07/2026 21:34

Everything into one pot, money into joint savings and the same amount of spending money each after living costs and savings.

Notrainingbutpouring · 20/07/2026 21:34

It’s joint income unless you’re married to someone incredibly selfish. If you’re going to split your income then split the childcare. If not, split up.

HermioneWeasley · 20/07/2026 21:32

Equal leisure time,
equal disposable spends

Nevermind31 · 20/07/2026 21:31

It goes into the shared pot? Otherwise charge him for childcare…

Ra33it76 · 20/07/2026 21:31

Why isn't it going into the joint account?