AIBU to let my nearly 13 year old cook family meals?

Absolutely it's acceptable, you are not forcing her, she is doing something she loves, learning to organise and budget, Sounds like a win all round

Sounds excellent - but does she have scope for days off and has she picked up on ways to do dinner quickly when she doesn't have the energy for anything elaborate?

Also have a look at the National Extension College - there may well be a qualification she can work towards in cooking to reflect her skills that's not available at school.

Sounds to me like she is loving it and it works for your family with your son washing up after and possibly the other 2 also contributing. Sounds like you have brought up a good kid and makes sense for her to add her ingredients to your food shop as she knows what she needs......enjoy.

We have hellofresh in the week so we all choose meals and in theory you cook the meal you have chosen.
DS1 is 19 and home from uni - he cooks a couple of nights a week, DD is 18 and cooks 2-3 nights a week, she really likes to cook and bake is so often found in the kitchen creating something. DS2 is 15 and cooks maybe once a fortnight. He does actually like cooking but would rather be on the PC!
They all take it in turns to do the dishwasher and bines/ recycling etc and responsible for keeping own rooms tidy.

DD has said lots of her friends don't know how to cook etc, once girls mum still makes her cereal/toast for her in the mornings - DD doesnt know how half of them will cope when they go off to uni in september!

I think it's good that she has the skills and motivation at 13, and you have the confidence in her to let her cook, something I never had when I was younger. At that age, it would stand them in good stead for when they go to uni or leave home, and helpful with you having younger children or if you were working full time or unwell. I wouldn't rely on her totally and not at the expense of schoolwork, hobbies or going out with friends.

I had to cook for my younger siblings from when I was 10 as my single mum worked late shifts. I liked feeling responsable and playing mum in her absence so it was fine.

How did you go about it? I have tried with my DS13 but he seems to find everything complicated.

bit much, I'd worry she will fall out of love with it in a year or something. and 100pcm is wild. what is she spending that on at 12!

My dd was a great cook from an early age too. I think prompted by that fact I hate cooking. I just let her get on with it. There was no expectation. We just enjoyed the benefits of her growing skills.

She’s at uni now and still has gourmet tastes! What she can produce from a basic budget and some basics from Lidl is very impressive.

I know !

She sounds brilliant! As long as she's enjoying it and only does it when she wants to I see no problem with it. I think kids should be taught to cook otherwise they have no idea when they become adults. I bet there's loads of 16 year olds that couldn't even put a pizza in the oven for themselves yet plan to move away for uni. It's a great life skill!

This sounds like a fantastic gift and one I would be keen to help explore. Not everyone is destined to be academic but everyone needs to eat. As she's already doing her own shopping maybe encourage her to do further research and shop around for the best deal. Procurement and proper utilisation of resources is a skill in itself. Being a personal chef can be very well paid.

It's fine as long as she wants to do it, if she is not so keen it is not fair because feeding a family is a very big responsibility.

I used to do that and I loved it!! I still love cooking/baking and my 5 year old son now he is cooking for us once a week dinner and bakes a cake or something (under supervision of course due to age). He knows ratios and everything and he loves it as much as I did!

As long as it’s something she wants to do and not something she has to - good stuff.

I think it's fine, if she enjoys it and wants to do it you may as well benefit! The novelty night wear off soon! 😂

I've not cooked a meal for my teens for a couple of years now, they cook for themselves. It's a good skill to have and I'd definitely be encouraging it. You don't need to justify on here about what else she does/doesn't do and what her siblings do/don't do. If it works for you all then it's all good :)

Brilliant.

I know what it's like to have a child who struggles academically. It can knock their confidence and leave them feeling useless.

If you have found something they can excel at and put their stamp on, then go with it.

She is not only learning about the actual cooking, but also about thinking ahead and planning. If you wanted to you could put a budget on some weeks and get her to plan meals within that budget.

As long as she is happy doing this amount of cooking, is producing healthy family meals and can say "I don't want to" without any comeback, then I think it's ok.

I genuinely don’t think the people commenting have even made this connection. It might shut some of them up!

I would just regularly check in and see that she's happy to do it, doesn't want a night off etc. and if she is crack on.

For those posters who think the OPs daughter is doing 'too much', how much time do your kids spend online/tv/gaming etc?

Do you think its more or less time than OPs daughter spends cooking and planning dishes?

My son is the same. He is 14 now but has been cooking a lot of the family meals for at least the last year. He likes to do it as he likes everything cooked his way 😂. I do still cook sometimes but he is an amazing cook and he loves it so why not! Is it a fantastic life skill. He doesn't do the food shop though, he'd spend a fortune if he was in charge of that! I think your daughter sounds great!

I'd probably let her do online shopping for ingredients she needs but I'd add to shop and if cook at least 3 days a week. Even though your DD loves to cook every evening meal and cooked breakfast on weekends is a bit much as she won't have much free time in the week.

Why would a 4 year old care where his dinner is coming from? As long as children are being fed and loved I don’t see what difference it makes. Some rich family’s have nanny’s or private chefs doing the cooking, it’s not being forced on her

Its a great shame that this question even needs to be asked. What we have done is give children more and more emotional responsbility and less and less physical and practical responsbility

This is to their and our detriment. Kids are becoming more and more anxious because of the emotional demands and expectations on them, less skilled and able in terms of learning about practicalities. Kids need to be active and need to keep physically occupied rather than spending time naval gazing and ruminating.

I did similar as a kid and loved it. I didn't see it as a chore and it didn't stop me doing school work or loads of hobbies. This was also unusual amongst my peer group. I became a good cook but more importantly got really good at multi-tasking and salvaging any culinary disasters because we needed a meal on the table. I genuinely believe it stood me in good stead.

It's the kids who are always expected to look after younger siblings that I feel sorry for (I know that's not OP's situation).