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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is new boss being such a knob?

594 replies

Buggeroffboss · 20/07/2026 14:10

Our old boss took ill suddenly in December last year and died shortly after. They been the boss for 20+ years, so appreciate we were all very used to them.

Following their illness I became interim boss. In April I was offered the role permanently but declined as it would mean returning to full time work. I'm bitterly regretting not taking it due to new boss!

We're a remote team, have been since many years before COVID. New boss clearly hates remote working. We do have an office, but it seats 10 people and us open to the whole business (approx 300 people) not just our department (40 people). New boss wants everyone in the office 2 days a week. HR have told him to go whistle - we are all on remote contracts and live across the whole of the UK, including channel Islands and 2 in France!

New boss is now insisting we schedule any "coffee breaks" (you know, where you brew up between meetings) and that under no circumstances are we to appear on screen with tea/ coffee if it isn't adjacent to our scheduled break. In addition he's put an embargo on lunch time errands, such as laundry, popping to the post office or collecting the car from the garage. All time is to be accounted for.

As you can imagine, morale has gone down the pan. We're a high performing department, there is 0 issues with productivity. Our work is largely invisible most of the time, lots of thinking time and idea generation which makes monitoring our day to day workloads difficult, but we always exceed our targets at quarter and year ends - so people are clearly working. In the 6 weeks he's been in there's been a noticeable change in how people are working, fewer people on early or late, most just working to their hours.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and just needs to chill the fuck out?

OP posts:
Noidontwantyourcrapnewsletter · 24/07/2026 09:28

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Futurehappiness · 24/07/2026 08:03

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Agreed. The big boss has evidence of mass unhappiness from a hitherto successful team, and rather than make an immediate and necessary decision, just passes the buck. But sometimes bosses don't like to admit that they made the wrong hiring decision, so worry that firing their new hire will make them look bad, more than they worry about the unhappiness of their staff.

A 'formal complaint' btw is just a complaint in writing, an email is enough. But they don't even need any reason to dismiss with such short service. Dismissal of a newly hired employee (unless for a discriminatory reason) is not legally risky and the HR dept should be telling the big boss that.

Noidontwantyourcrapnewsletter · 24/07/2026 06:44

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Cece92 · 24/07/2026 00:21

Sorry but if you wanna take a nap on an unpaid lunch break you can. He can’t control what you’re doing at lunch. And what your not allowed to make a tea or coffee on a tea break and take it back to your desk to drink whilst working? Doesn’t sound right to me next he will be timing toilet breaks or are those not allowed either

CosySocksBasket · 24/07/2026 00:17

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 15:13

Earlier this year I had to fire someone in their probation period and HR told me the more sources of evidence the better.

your Hr need to do some training.

You don’t “fire” someone on probation. You end the probation early. That person then works their probationary notice.

That is not accurate. If an employer ‘ends’ a probationary, whether early or at term, then that employee has been dismissed. They also don’t need to work their notice, it can be paid in lieu (PILON).

Allergictoironing · 23/07/2026 22:56

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 19:03

And surely now… dozens impacted, multiples complaints, contravening policies… surely now that’s sufficient “evidence” to end a probation that doesn’t even need evidence to end

HR don't have the "multiple complaints" until someone like the OP formally complains, and presumably a couple more people. People having an informal whinge can't be considered as evidence, it needs to be done through the proper channels in writing.

Futurehappiness · 23/07/2026 21:29

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 20:55

Long story, but they were not fired for being horrible.

In the OPs situation, do you think it takes more than an hour for her to write up her complaint?

You may not be privy to all the reasons they were fired (unless you were directly managing the process).

I can't see whether the OP has said how long it will take to write her complaint, I may have have missed it. But due to HR's advice to gather as much evidence as possible and her reference to collecting evidence from the team, I can imagine it could take some time to compile from there.

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 20:55

Futurehappiness · 23/07/2026 20:18

Often the reasons for a person leaving/being dismissed are confidential and so all the circumstances can't be shared with the team; but it doesn't mean the reasons aren't sound or that the person was unfairly treated.

In the situation you describe, do you think it would have been better to have a longer process where the person continued to be 'absolutely horrible' to many other staff? It could have led to the victims of bullying leaving despite being good employees, submitting multiple grievances or becoming ill with work related stress. So how would that have been better for the team that remain?

I don't like 'hire and fire' culture but occasionally a dismissal is just necessary. It is unlikely that a brand new employee, after an expensive recruitment and induction process, is going to be fired without good reason. Upsetting multiple members of the team is a good reason imo and if they delay then things could get far worse.

Long story, but they were not fired for being horrible.

In the OPs situation, do you think it takes more than an hour for her to write up her complaint?

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 20:21

Futurehappiness · 23/07/2026 20:18

Often the reasons for a person leaving/being dismissed are confidential and so all the circumstances can't be shared with the team; but it doesn't mean the reasons aren't sound or that the person was unfairly treated.

In the situation you describe, do you think it would have been better to have a longer process where the person continued to be 'absolutely horrible' to many other staff? It could have led to the victims of bullying leaving despite being good employees, submitting multiple grievances or becoming ill with work related stress. So how would that have been better for the team that remain?

I don't like 'hire and fire' culture but occasionally a dismissal is just necessary. It is unlikely that a brand new employee, after an expensive recruitment and induction process, is going to be fired without good reason. Upsetting multiple members of the team is a good reason imo and if they delay then things could get far worse.

Especially when we are talking about someone who’s been there just 6 weeks, still on probation and dozens of people impacted

Futurehappiness · 23/07/2026 20:18

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 19:23

It’s good policy and better for the team who remain, too.

I am privy to a situation where someone was released without explanation. They’d been absolutely horrible to many and not one person was sorry to see the back of them. But everyone was still shocked at how it was handled. Even when the person deserves to be let go, others need to see it handled fairly and professionally.

Often the reasons for a person leaving/being dismissed are confidential and so all the circumstances can't be shared with the team; but it doesn't mean the reasons aren't sound or that the person was unfairly treated.

In the situation you describe, do you think it would have been better to have a longer process where the person continued to be 'absolutely horrible' to many other staff? It could have led to the victims of bullying leaving despite being good employees, submitting multiple grievances or becoming ill with work related stress. So how would that have been better for the team that remain?

I don't like 'hire and fire' culture but occasionally a dismissal is just necessary. It is unlikely that a brand new employee, after an expensive recruitment and induction process, is going to be fired without good reason. Upsetting multiple members of the team is a good reason imo and if they delay then things could get far worse.

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 19:25

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 19:23

It’s good policy and better for the team who remain, too.

I am privy to a situation where someone was released without explanation. They’d been absolutely horrible to many and not one person was sorry to see the back of them. But everyone was still shocked at how it was handled. Even when the person deserves to be let go, others need to see it handled fairly and professionally.

Had they been there 6 weeks?

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 19:24

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 19:23

It’s good policy and better for the team who remain, too.

I am privy to a situation where someone was released without explanation. They’d been absolutely horrible to many and not one person was sorry to see the back of them. But everyone was still shocked at how it was handled. Even when the person deserves to be let go, others need to see it handled fairly and professionally.

The team who remain that still have to endure him whilst this grievance process for someone who has been there 6 weeks and is still well and truly in his probation!

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 19:23

Buggeroffboss · 23/07/2026 18:22

Not strictly necessary, but due diligence - we evidenced we had supported them to improve and meet the required standard before terminating their employment, it's only fair and right.

It’s good policy and better for the team who remain, too.

I am privy to a situation where someone was released without explanation. They’d been absolutely horrible to many and not one person was sorry to see the back of them. But everyone was still shocked at how it was handled. Even when the person deserves to be let go, others need to see it handled fairly and professionally.

Poorabbeywalsh2 · 23/07/2026 19:07

Guess the whole team needs to schedule that tea break before/ after the meeting then and ALL be on teams slurping. For sure he's a knobbo with no life.

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 19:03

Buggeroffboss · 23/07/2026 18:22

Not strictly necessary, but due diligence - we evidenced we had supported them to improve and meet the required standard before terminating their employment, it's only fair and right.

And surely now… dozens impacted, multiples complaints, contravening policies… surely now that’s sufficient “evidence” to end a probation that doesn’t even need evidence to end

Buggeroffboss · 23/07/2026 18:22

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 15:40

But the point is… you don’t need to “gather evidence”!!! So HR need training if they think it’s necessary.

Not strictly necessary, but due diligence - we evidenced we had supported them to improve and meet the required standard before terminating their employment, it's only fair and right.

OP posts:
Westcoe · 23/07/2026 18:04

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:05

If an employee is causing this level of dissatisfaction to dozens of people, with multiple complaints, then that is the “evidence” (not that needed”, to end the probation.

It is the very benefit of probation. During that period you can end it and the employee only
works the much shorter probationary notice (usually just a week) Likewise beneficial to the employee himself as they can end it and only need to work the much shorter probationary notice.

Edited

You see… I make clear the not needed

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 18:03

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 17:51

You are contradicting yourself. You said no evidence is needed and now you’ve said the complaints are evidence. Which is it?

No if you read my post and make very clear in that very post that evidence is NOt required

but if it was… then dozens of people impacted and multiple complaints would be evidence

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 17:51

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:05

If an employee is causing this level of dissatisfaction to dozens of people, with multiple complaints, then that is the “evidence” (not that needed”, to end the probation.

It is the very benefit of probation. During that period you can end it and the employee only
works the much shorter probationary notice (usually just a week) Likewise beneficial to the employee himself as they can end it and only need to work the much shorter probationary notice.

Edited

You are contradicting yourself. You said no evidence is needed and now you’ve said the complaints are evidence. Which is it?

Futurehappiness · 23/07/2026 17:41

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:05

If an employee is causing this level of dissatisfaction to dozens of people, with multiple complaints, then that is the “evidence” (not that needed”, to end the probation.

It is the very benefit of probation. During that period you can end it and the employee only
works the much shorter probationary notice (usually just a week) Likewise beneficial to the employee himself as they can end it and only need to work the much shorter probationary notice.

Edited

I agree with this. There is no need to have a long drawn out process once they have received several employee complaints, that is sufficient evidence of his unsuitability to bring things to a swift close. I don't really understand what the management & HR are waiting for, dragging things out will only compound the damage.

They don't need to have the person working during notice provided they pay him in lieu....a small price to pay in these circumstances.

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:30

GreenFootstool · 23/07/2026 17:27

And that is the entire point of the grievances being submitted.... But they need people to come forward with the complaints to be able to act. Not rely on mutterings or third party reporting of mutterings.

NOT if on probation!!!

GreenFootstool · 23/07/2026 17:27

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:05

If an employee is causing this level of dissatisfaction to dozens of people, with multiple complaints, then that is the “evidence” (not that needed”, to end the probation.

It is the very benefit of probation. During that period you can end it and the employee only
works the much shorter probationary notice (usually just a week) Likewise beneficial to the employee himself as they can end it and only need to work the much shorter probationary notice.

Edited

And that is the entire point of the grievances being submitted.... But they need people to come forward with the complaints to be able to act. Not rely on mutterings or third party reporting of mutterings.

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 17:05

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 16:13

You are talking about legal requirements. However, every place I have worked also has policies and procedures.

OPs company is ensuring their reasons for terminating employment are documented rather than reacting to verbal complaints or whispering campaigns. That may not be legally required but it’s solid policy indicative of a thoughtful, well-run workplace.

If an employee is causing this level of dissatisfaction to dozens of people, with multiple complaints, then that is the “evidence” (not that needed”, to end the probation.

It is the very benefit of probation. During that period you can end it and the employee only
works the much shorter probationary notice (usually just a week) Likewise beneficial to the employee himself as they can end it and only need to work the much shorter probationary notice.

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 16:13

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 15:40

But the point is… you don’t need to “gather evidence”!!! So HR need training if they think it’s necessary.

You are talking about legal requirements. However, every place I have worked also has policies and procedures.

OPs company is ensuring their reasons for terminating employment are documented rather than reacting to verbal complaints or whispering campaigns. That may not be legally required but it’s solid policy indicative of a thoughtful, well-run workplace.

Westcoe · 23/07/2026 15:40

OneSparklyGoat · 23/07/2026 15:36

Pedantic
Semantic
Don’t be so romantic
Result is the same

But the point is… you don’t need to “gather evidence”!!! So HR need training if they think it’s necessary.