Why is new boss being such a knob?

I have a smart mug

it keeps my drink warm for hours.

itd shut him up as I’d tell him I made it before I clocked in.

drink water on screen and he can say nothing.

he can’t tell you what you can/can’t do on your lunch break

work to rule @Buggeroffboss No overtime, no staying late, no starting early. Phone off outside working hours

If you show that you were back from lunch, that you could have picked up his call but did not, nor called him back quickly soon after, that will not look good at all.

@Twilightargent it's perfectly reasonable for a manager to not want to see or hear your children on a works call and, yes, you can prevent it.

Is his name Paul

I hope he fails his probation. He is an awful fit for the culture of the company.

What a micromanaging prick of a jobsworth, as if you cant just make a brew any time u feel like it!?
He's got too much time on his hands,he's just throwing his weight about trying to make himself important and look good. You know what they say 'a new broom sweeps clean'
Keep going back to HR

A mug with 'Gin O'Clock' on it would be ideal.😂

I would be tempted to take a screenshot showing the time and that he is calling, and just keep filing them, but never ever answering.

See what he decides is your punishment for not being back in time from your lunch 🤣 when you have evidence you were

The 1950s has called and wants him back

He sounds very unreasonable. He can't tell you what to do during lunch! If you want to cover yourself in jam and run down the street screaming that's your business!
What about people with medical issues, e.g. diabetes.? My colleague (when l was working, before kids) usually had some tea at certain times, and sometimes unscheduled if she felt unwell. What about water? He can't deny you water, and you could have the said water (or waterever beverage you feel like)In a sealed opaque container.
Definitely speak to HR about concerns. Can you mention about morale being low as well?
My partner has been bullied by his boss in the last year and now is redundant. In that time his boss told him he didn't want to see or hear our kids during video calls (haha as if you can stop them) and there is no way the Internet can drop out when on a conference call, cause clearly my partner controls the WiFi. He bullied him on various things from mental/physical health and autism and our family situations. Sometimes I think these awful, anally retentive people just exist to be a stick in the wheel.
Sending you the best of luck.

He sounds like a right wanker

Probably has a micro penis

I often drink cold tea at work, just because I can't get to finish drink at an appropriate time (in teaching). Also, I do think as many workers as possible need to find they have to be in work at the same time for a few days. That should make the logistics obvious.

Where from - Direct Line Travel Insurance Claims Department in 1993?

Your lunch break is none of his business.

Be mindful that for most organisations HR is a management tool. In some places they do manage over robust managers. But more often than not, they are there to support the management. Not undermine it.

You've got to ask why he was actually given this job. This is a reasonably large organisation with, presumably, correct recruitment processes and established remote working for the team he was going to manage. So surely an essential skill set identified during recruitment is managing remote teams.
That is, of course, unless they wanted someone to reign in the flexibility and culture of the said team. The tea thing is just pathetic and shows a lack of skill or strategic thinking. But it's not beyond reason that the organisation thinks the flexibility has become too flexible and want some different accountability and given him the remit to do this. Someone who got a job to manage 40 people can't be this bad a manager, can they?
Maybe he has been given a remit to get 20 perc of the team to leave. Who knows, but it could explain some of his more pedantic actions.
After 40 years in large organisations, my advice is to tread carefully. There might be a different agenda and you need to pick the battles with team consensus. Some of your entitlement that comes through on your posts based on it's fine because 'we get the job done' might not be how other teams in the organisation see it, or the senior managers.

This is likely to be policy not in the contract. My entire firm of 5,000 people work like this. Our working hours policy says work how and where you want that suits your day and gives you the balance you need with your home life. That's obviously not verbatim. we are all adults and can be trusted to do our jobs and management recognise most people are juggling other stuff, like caring responsibilities and just general life stuff.
As long as our diaries are up to date (which counts as informing your manager) and we get our work done on time then they don't care if we're taking two hour lunch breaks. As a result, people are loyal to the business and very engaged at work. It is brilliant.
If flexible working is the norm then you don't have to check with your manager, you are responsible for managing your own day and workload. The whole point is to remove those pointless management tasks and give employees agency and trust.
Obviously you have to work around any meetings or client deliverables. It wouldn't be ok to not turn up to a meeting that you had accepted for example, it's all about your diary reflecting when you are available and not available.

Scheduled tea breaks is bonkers, What's next, timed toilet breaks?! Thin end of the wedge.

I’m flexitime too on a team of 4 in our section built into a wider team of about 30 over different depts.
we must have cover between 9-5 as that’s when the customer phone lines are active and we can’t start earlier than 07:30 or work later than 18:30. We also have a 3 hour buffer with our flexi time where we can go into debit and essentially owe them hours. We cannot accrue more than 10 hours flexi so must either take a day off as flexi or lose the extra hours
So as long as the other 3 know where you are if you’re coming in late/leaving early or having a long lunch then it doesn’t matter.
Hours are recorded on weekly timesheets.
We can also wfh or in the office.
As for the making a brew thing, some of the other teams have wireless headsets so will make a brew whilst talking in the meeting, he’d hate that! 🤣

He sounds awful!
I’d escalate to HR and I would be documenting everything.

“He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.”

did he really say that? I only ask because, a direct report of mine told my team of 20 that I’d told him he wasn’t allowed to make himself a cup of tea without my permission any longer.

what I actually told him was, it’s not really appropriate for you to make yourself and 19 others a cup of tea every hour of the day because you’re spending 20 minutes per working hour making tea.

his inference was slightly different to what I actually said and I was subjected to a witch hunt for being the manager who banned him from having a cup of tea

It sounds like HR already have an idea about him due to his lack of ability to count, as another PP has said. That will have left the wrong sort of lasting impression on them. I don’t think he’ll last long because one of you will say something, it will all blow up and I think HR will side with you. If it’s 💯 true you’ve all been super productive, then I think it will come back on him. It may take time but it will happen. He’s not a manager, he’s a dictator and wannabe who feels entitled to power he doesn’t have the skills to handle.
I know a couple like that - they’re super oppressive, make work feel like work because they’re miserable people, and remind you of cruel Victorian overseers in dark Satanic mills.

When I clicked your link I saw a big headline "Are you a robot?" and thought "oh yes, that would explain it." 😂

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, me.

Your new boss thinks there are people on the team who are pulling a fast one.
They say they are at work, but aren’t. Too many breaks, too many non work activities. Too much work done at odd hours when nobody else is also at work.

That is why he wants you in the office for two days a week. And for breaks to be set.

If anyone has taken the pee then they are to blame for his attitude.
No doubt when he was recruited it might have been suggested to him that this change is what was wanted. He in turn of course, has a boss. Somewhere. His boss may well be driving this now the old boss has departed.

The drinks thing is a bit silly.

Like many bosses you can go in harder and soften up later. Many staff try to see what they can get away with early on.
What you cannot do is start soft and try to be harder later on.

Complain to HR and put evidence forward so he doesn’t pass his probation. We had to do it once to an awful boss. The whole team (top performers) said we would quit if they passed their probation, she was gone the next day.

To make the point that he is being ridiculous and pedantic.

Why would you do that, other than to make him feel uncomfortable?