To beg other women to stop putting everything down to perimenopause

The point is perimenopausal symptoms are caused by perimenopause, but not every single problem women have, whether physical, mental, emotional, social, financial or other, is caused by perimenopause.

💯 agree.

Medical issues could be missed because its assumed everything is due to menopsuse

Women who are really struggling may find it hard to make themselves heard.

For those who are perfectly fine (the majority of my 50+ friends) they have to deal with the world thinking their perfectly valid concerns about all manner in of things can be ignored because women are clearly deranged by the menopause.

Employers start to believe that while they will support the women they already employ, they sure as hell don’t want anymore.

Stop waving the menopause flag. Lobby the medical profession for understanding and treatment like we do for other conditions.

I was literally at an event where a woman was shouting - her volume seems to be permanently set to the loudest - about how much she hates men and it's all because of peri menopause

This is not the first time I've heard her say this. It was bad enough in front of the barman, but this time she did it with her husband right next to her.

Honestly, I felt like I needed him to signal to me - you know in a "blink twice if you need help" kind of way. She carried on her rant to say that all women hate their husbands during this period.

Honestly, it just makes women look really bad. And that's just a personal thing. Don't get me started on the workplace! I really didn't want people looking at me thinking that because I'm a certain age I might have certain issues

I suspect the shouty woman was shouting at birth, though

She's actually a really decent kind individual by the way. She loves to shout about ADHD as well. It's like she got hold of some health information and she's not afraid to use it!

Hmm, I’m happy and relieved that it’s recognised and more awareness is a good thing. What didn’t please me is when for example I legitimately lose my mind because the adults I live with (dh and two adult DD’s who routinely leave the house in a tip or ask me what’s for dinner when I’ve just got home from work and they have been home all day) and they tell me it’s because I’m peri menopausal. It seems to be giving them some sort of green light to behave like this with no consequences. And that’s not on.

In my case a couple of things happened - I started to also develop a rash across my chest, stomach and back, and my sister (who already had a diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis) pestered me to keep going back to the doctors until they stopped fobbing me off. I don’t think there is one single blood test that can confirm or deny psoriatic arthritis and a rheumatologist makes the diagnosis based on how you present.

i should say as well though that I still take HRT and it has helped me in other ways - just not with this specifically!

I agree. I have a relative whose behaviour has always been horrific. Nasty and cruel. But all of a sudden it’s because she’s perimenopausal and can’t control what she says. So have you been perimeno since you were a teenager?? No you haven’t.

Hard agree. Perimenopause is suddenly in the zeitgeist...

ODFOD, you don’t speak for the rest of us. My perimenopause began as soon as I gave birth to my last DC. Doctors kept putting my symptoms down to postpartum depression- I’d gone into peri and it’s taken years to get me back to functioning again and I’m still struggling. Add in my STBEx thinking I was making up how much I was struggling and it’s a wonder how I’ve survived this long. HRT has saved my sanity.

Begging is a bit extreme but I do agree.

Dh had symptoms a couple of years back and had he been female these would have likely been put down to the menopause.

I see the goady twat has left us all to it

oh gosh yes, it has gone too far the other way now. The attention seeking "I am hitting the dreaded perimenopause now" No Brenda, you just turned 42. You are just not 20 anymore and you look like a 40 year old.

It's a bit overdone yeah. Peri is bad but I don't think it's the cause of absolutely every health problem in women over 40. I think many women get really burnt out around this age as well which doesn't help.

Your thread title is as silly as the peak MN ridiculousness that was the woman (apparently) who wanted to “scream ‘close the schooools!’” when our children had already missed out on far too much education in the pandemic.

It will always stick in my mind for being a ludicrous thread title but luckily her arse was handed to her.

But a lot of things are down to it!

And it’s right that these are recognised.

We need to build a world where the female body and the changes it goes through both monthly and throughout its life are recognised and built into the fabric of life. Especially the workplace.

It’s not at all contrary to female interests to talk about this.

It’s only because you’re deeply rooted in a male way of thinking (“if women can’t cope with an entirely male focussed working life, then they’re too weak to be in the workplace”) that you think this.

So if you do beg for what you’ve suggested you’ll just look very silly.

Beg all you like. We can attribute symptoms we didn’t previously have to peri if we like or if we know that’s what it is.

Yet HRT solved everything 😎

Not wanting to derail the thread, but how did you get a diagnosis CoffeeBooksRats?
I am in a similar position, but just told bloods are okay and maybe perimenopause or fybromyalgia

This.

Turns out some women are higher risk for having problems due to other health related things which are completely identifiable. So like other health conditions it's be really helpful for this information to be widely known.

The two together would make it much easier to identify those women who are likely to be most at risk and in need.

But this is far too logical and requires research. And no one gives enough of a shit about women to do this.

And how exactly are you supposed to know what is and what isn't? There is an incredibly long list of possible effects of perimenopause.

But really useful of you to explain to us all that 'not everything is' - not a man by any chance are you?

@Catwalking - Ah - medical doctors and application of science / logic - this is another of my bugbears! Good for you for standing your ground!

I'll amend my opinion to better diagnostic tests AND diagnostic education for GPs and other specialists! You are quite right.

You're correct but it needs to be one part of the discussion.

Agree.
But….. even with results that pointed to me having Hyperparathyroidism, (including the nuclear scan which only shows up for 60% of actual ‘growths’) the GP was happy to have an extended convo about how my symptoms would manifest with getting older!!!
I had to get stroppy & tell her ‘not all at once, & not progress so rapidly’ & had to refuse the meds (debatably effective) she wanted me to take to suppress PTH.
Before she gave in saying defensively “well I’m going to refer you (for removal op.) anyway!??” as if she shouldn’t have?

As someone who is finding peri/menopause a real struggle after usually being so independent and capable as a hard worker and single parent, taking on new challenges and jobs with ease to suddenly not retaining any information and leaving my job, I picked up a leaflet by the Menopause Charity. They list these symptoms out of 34 possible symptoms-
Heart beating quickly or strongly
Feeling tense or nervous
Difficulty in sleeping
Muscle and joint pains
Loss of interest in most things
Attacks of anxiety or panic
Brain fog
Feeling tired or lacking in energy
Sweating
Feeling unhappy or depressed
Urinary symptoms
Vaginal dryness
Crying spells
Feeling dizzy or faint
Pressure or tightness in head
Parts of the body feel numb
Headaches
Excitable or irritable
Loss of feeling in hands or feet
Breathing difficulties
Hot flushes
Loss of interest in sex

I want to be the person I was but I feel nothing like that now. Youre a lucky person to get through it without any problems.

nice to know you're not affected by perimenopause. I've developed crippling anxiety and rage in my early 40s, as well as unexplained weight gain and insomnia. what would you put that down to?

You’re not peri or menopausal then?

I'm almost certianly peri - so far it's usual gut issues round periods had since 20s - and shorter cycles.

I think too much in women health is dismissed or put under big labels - it could be peri or menpause or it could very well be something else. I knew several women who had pnd diagsoses after DC when actullay it was a thyroid condition which delayed tretament cuasing complications.

I think constant bagging on in work places in unhelpful - affected women should come under health protection and get indidual help - not assume all women in middle age will suffer all problems which does seem to be an increasing issue in media at least.

So while I think it's good it's not a hidden issues I personally don't think current situation is great either.