AIBU to break the 'never comment on weight' rule with my friend after sports day?"

The issue with this analogy is that 100% of drug addicts can live without their drug of choice (although many will need specialist treatment to get through their physical dependency). 0% of humans can live without food, and this is why simplistic correlations between food addiction and other substance abuse are largely unhelpful.

I don't see anything in the OPs post that she wants to tell her she's fat as other posters have suggested. Sounds like she's just concerned a d wants to check in to see if there is something her friend might need support with. There is a difference.

I do agree with others though that it's best to leave it and let her raise it if she wants to.

99.9% of drug addicts know they are drug addicts. It doesn't mean they don't need an intervention.

Saving her friend's life? Is that not worth anything? If after her friend has a heart attack/stroke and dies, wtf do you think a 'be nice for quiet life' will mean then? Get real.

This has been going round and round in my head since last week and I can't decide whether to get involved or not.

One of my closest friends has gained a significant amount of weight over the last few years. I don't mean a bit of weight after having children or a few extra pounds creeping on, she has steadily gained weight over a number of years.

We've been friends for years and I love her to bits, which is why I'm struggling with this. Its not about judgement of how she looks etc but serious concern.

Last week was the kids school sports day and they did parents races at the end. She decided to take part in it and I actually thought it was lovely because she's always been the sort of person who joins in and has a laugh.

But she struggled almost straight away. She was completely out of breath despite not even really getting into a jog and ended up having to stop before the finish. I felt really uncomfortable watching because it was obvious she was finding it physically difficult.

Afterwards she laughed it off and started making jokes about herself, saying things like she'd forgotten that she wasn't 20 any more and that she wouldn't be volunteering for anything like that again. Everyone laughed with her, but I came away feeling quite sad about it. I can't really explain why it's stayed with me, but it has.

It's not about her being a certain size or how she looks, it was seeing someone I care about struggle with something that a few years ago, she would probably have managed without thinking twice.

I've been wondering whether I should say something to her. Not "you need to lose weight" or anything blunt like that. More just asking if she's okay and whether she's finding things harder physically lately. But obviously I know she's probably aware of her weight and obviously there could also be things going on that I know nothing about.

I'm completely torn because I don't want to embarrass her or make her feel judged, but I also wonder whether being a good friend sometimes means having an awkward conversation because you care.

I know the obvious answer is to just leave it alone, but if I were to say something, how would you go about it if it were your frend?

AIBU to even be considering saying something, or would the kindest thing be to leave it alone?

99.9% of drug addicts know they are drug addicts. It doesn't mean they don't need an intervention.

Sorry can you clarify what makes you think the friend is thick not just fat and doesn’t understand that her reduction in physicality is due to her weight gain?

89% unreasonable??? What?! Flip it: if she had lost the same weight she gained and fainted because of being underweight / malnourished, would you even be on here or would you have said something already? Forget political correctness and help her!

Right on! I cannot believe (well I can, knowing what British/UK women are like) the cowardice for a 'quiet life' on here. It's an act of selfishness of itself, putting aside wanting to 'be nice' and a 'quiet life' ahead of being a good friend and doing what it's right. FFS, they need American women to come on here and give it straight! And OP's friend needs an intervention.

99.9% of drug addicts know they are drug addicts. It doesn't mean they don't need an intervention.

99.9% of drug addicts know they are drug addicts. It doesn't mean they don't need an intervention.

99.9% of overweight people know that they are overweight. They don't need anyone, no matter how well meaning to point it out.

Speaking as someone who has lost 42kgs with another 90 or so to lose you will do more harm than good.

There’s health and they saying “I wouldnt have dreamed of wearing that stuff.” Why?
shame and hating your body,
covering it up, does nothing for helping you be healthier. Wearing gorgeous clothes and being confident is more likely to make you happier and lose weight naturally and be healthier in general.

We are close. I don't think she's peri-menopause (we're 31). She seems happy enough mostly, married, nice house, decent job but obviously hard to know everything going on in someone's life.

Saving her friend's life? Is that not worth anything? If after her friend has a heart attack/stroke and dies, wtf do you think a 'be nice for quiet life' will mean then? Get real.

There’s health and they saying “I wouldnt have dreamed of wearing that stuff.” Why?
shame and hating your body,
covering it up, does nothing for helping you be healthier. Wearing gorgeous clothes and being confident is more likely to make you happier and lose weight naturally and be healthier in general.

I think this post says more about you than it does OP.

You don’t get to 9+ stone overweight without being acutely aware of it and the fact that it causes serious health problems.

You would also be aware that you can’t deal with it until you’re in the right mindset and have the determination that comes from within.

So you of all people should have known it wasn’t a good idea to say something.

I disagree with all of this, lots of young woman are way larger and seem to be way more body positive than the past. There’s loads of overweight people since 20 years ago and it’s as if it’s the norm. When I was young girls wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing the stuff if they were the size some young ones are now.
Being fat isn’t healthy and leads to multiple health issues as well as putting a strain on the nhs. As for your other points, I would say to a friend if I thought they were drinking too much and had an issue and I would definitely comment if she drove too fast whilst I was in the car