AIBU to break the 'never comment on weight' rule with my friend after sports day?"

I used to be a lot heavier and lost weight due to becoming diabetic some years ago, am now 9st 5lb.
Saw someone recently who asked if I was on skinny jabs I told her the reason and that it was a chronic condition. She gaped and shut up.

I'd leave it, tbh. She must be aware and as everyone else has said, these sorts of conversations generally don't end well, however gently the subject is brought up

I wouldn't mention it, she already knows. But I would maybe suggest fun things you've seen and could do together for example clubbercize. Not in a 'you need this' kind of way but more of 'ooh this looks fun, do you fancy going with me?'.

The very act of saying anything will mean she is probably going to feel shame. Can you not see that?

Only mention her weight to her if you don't expect much of a friendship going forward. She knows her weight, she doesn't need someone who's supposed to be her old friend pointing it out. There's no good way to approach this issue without you sounding either judgemental or patronising.

About the only thing you can do is think of a physical fitness thing you can do together and ask her if she wants to come along. This is something friends do. "I'm thinking of taking that new yoga course. Want to come with? I could do with the moral support," kind of thing.

Say absolutely nothing unless she raises it herself.

You think she doesn’t know?
I have a friend who drinks way too much. I mean at least a bottle a day. In the past, and only when she’s brought it up herself, I’ve says ‘I’m giving up alcohol for Lent, up for the challenge’? Or ‘I’ve decided not to drink Monday to Thursday, want to join me’? The answer has always been no. So I don’t talk about it. She’s been told by her doctor she drinks too much. Her husband doesn’t really drink and he’s made very unhelpful comments in the past. Nothing has made her do anything.
Whatever is going to make my friend drink less or your friend lose weight, it ain’t going to be from anything anyone has said.
I’m overweight. I am aware of it every second of the day. I don’t need a ‘friend’ to try and be ‘helpful’. If anything that would drive me straight to the fridge!

At most I would suggest doing an activity together that maybe you wouldn't want to do by yourself e.g. park yoga or a dance class

She knows!
What do you mean by 'situation'? Save your sadness and worry for other situations. She sounds happier than you do!

It would very likely mean the end of your friendship. There’s no way to raise this without making her feel judged. Don’t do it.

Feel sad and worried all you like, but keep it to yourself.
I've seen this happen before, someone bringing up weight gain " out of concern"
It didn't go well.
In fact the relationship never recovered.

She knows. Just leave her alone.

Like what? She knows she's fat and not very fit. It's rude and pointless.

Fwiw I'm skinny but if I ran in a race I'd probably be puffed out after about 30 seconds. I certainly wouldn't want someone 'concerned' about the fact I'm not exactly the world's greatest Mo Farah impersonator.

No, absolutely do not say anything (whether directly or subtly!).

My BMI used to be 43, now it's 21 and I absolutely can say that no adult is unaware if they are considerably overweight.

A friend commenting on my weight would've irrevocably damaged the relationship.

If you really want to try anything then for gods sake dont mention how far and unfit she is. The only way and it’s still very risky is something like, how she seemed after the race and is she ok and your hearvif she wants to talk.

Of course you should tell her she's got fat.

It will have been driving her mad that she doesn't know why she's had to buy bigger clothes, and her mind will be at rest now she can finally understand.

The shame of her friends being appalled at her appearance will be just the motivation she needs to eat massive salads for each meal - we all know that negative feelings have us reaching for the lettuce.

It's your duty as a friend.

You mind your own business.

Op she clearly excused herself with comments designed to cover her personal shame and embarrassment.

It would be incredibly patronising to say anything.

I don't know why you think it's your responsibility to tell her she needs to lose weight. Don't you think she knows? If you enjoy spending time together why not suggest going for walks or exercise classes together. The last thing she needs is unasked for advice or a lecture.

I understand why you want to mention it, its in her best interests from a well meaning place, but please don't. Youll probably find she'll start avoiding you, and your friendship will be over. Tell her you're going to start walking for half an hour in the evening or something see if she wants to walk with you so she motivates you.... might help

She’s not blind, she’s not dumb. I assure you she knows.
her comments will have been a defence mechanism due to being embarrassed.
dont say anything, it’s not kind and it’s not helpful.

She knows she's overweight, you won't achieve anything by telling her except hurting someone you say you are friends with.