I would really appreciate some thoughts on how I could best manage this situation. Especially from people who have dogs or who are dog lovers.
For background after being attacked by dogs twice as a kid I was properly phobic of dogs for a long time. I have worked very hard to conquer that fear especially as I had children and I did not want them to feel the same way. I am now in my 40s and no longer phobic. I do not need to cross the road when walking past a dog. I can go into peoples houses when they have a dog. And I can even pat or even play with a friendly dog. I cannot over emphasise what huge progress all of that is for me.
However, I am struggling with something at the moment.
My neighbours have a young dog. I think it’s some sort of spaniel poodle mix. It’s not an unfriendly dog, but it is quite bouncy. We have a shared driveway and they allow the dog to run free over the shared driveway regularly. When I walk down the driveway, the dog often bound up to me and then it sort of stands there stock still just staring at me, not wagging its tail just staring at me which I find really intimidating. It’s not being aggressive, but I don’t like it.
At night, because it’s shadowy and tree- lined the dog can’t see very well so it’s inclined to bark quite aggressively at anything coming down the drive. That’s totally fair enough. I understand why it’s doing that.
However, it is giving me huge anxiety about leaving my house and walking up and down the driveway. I’ve asked my neighbours three times if they could please ensure the dog is on a lead when it’s out the front at night time.
So far they have ignored that request and are very dismissive saying “oh he’s fine. He’s very friendly. We’re always there.”
However, the dog has really poor recall. It isn’t aggressive. I know that, but I can’t help but feel really anxious.
They don’t tend to take the dog out for a walk. They tend to just allow it to run free out the front of our houses. To be fair to them, they do pick it up when it poos in our front garden.
My seven-year-old also is a bit scared of it and doesn’t like it when it bounces up to him.
I think I can cope with it during the day, but at night it’s giving me huge anxiety and it’s actually stopping me from going out of my house at night. Which I recognise is utterly ridiculous. But I feel like I’ve tried to talk to them and I think people who love dogs just do not understand why somebody who is nervous of dogs could struggle.
Does anybody have any advice for either what I can do myself to help me be more resilient? Or what I could do if the dog is barking at me. I’ve taken to carrying an umbrella so that I’ve got a barrier between me and the dog.
Obviously, I will try and speak to my Neighbours again, but I don’t want a massive feud with them. We otherwise get on very well so I’m not inclined to make a huge deal out of it but equally it’s starting to make me feel very anxious and stressed.
Finally in the experience of people who know dogs really well, are dogs inclined to attack if they can’t see properly? I’m just worried that it would bark at me and one day bite me when I’m coming down the drive in the dark. I think that’s probably a relatively unfounded worry, but that is something at the back of my mind.
Any help gratefully received!! please be kind!