AIBU to ask neighbours to keep their dog on a lead?

You are right when you say dog owners have no empathy with those that aren’t comfortable with dogs. They never stop to think perhaps someone was attacked as a child by one.

Not taking your dog for a walk seems appalling to me. And how good of them to pick up the dog poo from your garden. How grateful you must feel.
There should not be any dog poo on your garden to begin with. What are they doing trampling around your garden ! I would if I could make it as unattractive for the dog to go on.

Shared driveways are a nightmare because inevitably one owner gets to ‘own’ it more than the other.

If the path is dark can you put up some lights at all ? There are some people put around their gardens, so you can randomly place them anywhere.

Poor dog, never taken out, I hate owners like this. He is bored and needs a good run to burn up some energy.

It doesn’t need to be a fear to not want to be molested by dogs. I can’t stand this attitude that’s it’s up to you to placate the dog, not the dumb owners to rein it in. I’m afraid I’d be kicking it away if it came near me. YANBU.

Hi I have a cavapoo now but totally understand your fear of their dog, and your dislike of it's behaviour. You've had some good advice here but I wouldn't start giving it treats unless you want it to look out for you and come over.

My suggestion is a motion activated sprinkler.. Almost certainly work as a deterrent and won't do any harm.

Also, you've already told these horrible owners about your phobia, they probably just think "tough", but you have a genuine greivance about it pooing in your garden,

They sound like really shitty owners - not walking the dog is terrible for it, poor thing, no wonder it's so bouncy.

I think it's a really good idea to try to get to know it more OP, be careful with treats because not all dogs are gentle at taking them and if you're wary of dogs that might freak you out further. Better to drop the treats than try to hand feed. Be aware though that you then might become 'treat lady' and his very favourite person to come running over to!

Instead of treats I would just crouch down to it's level, put your hand out for it to sniff and say hello. If he wags his tail but is fairly calm then give him a scratch under his chin and say 'good boy'.

You've done really well to overcome your fear of dogs as much as you already have. I agree that getting to know this particular dog would be a good way forward.

In the meantime I wonder if it would help you to read more about dog behaviour and maybe watch some videos? It sounds as if your past experiences are telling you this dog is aggressive, whereas it's quite possible that he's as frightened as you are and he's just barking and lunging to make the scary thing that appeared out of nowhere (you) go away. If that's the case then making friends will definitely help, but you also need to try to avoid startling him. Maybe a solar powered motion sensitive light by your door or down the drive? I have some from powerbee.co.uk which are great and need no maintenance at all. I would also consider taking the initiative and instead of waiting for him to realise you're there, try calling him as soon as you go outside and when he comes into view, throw a handful of tiny treats at him and well away from you, in the opposite direction to the one you're going in. This will give you a degree of control , you will be less scary to him and he will be busy sniffing them out.

I'm surprised they let their dog roam free. I'd be concerned about it being stolen or run over or running off somewhere. They sound really irresponsible.

Then equally they can’t allow their dog to roam free and shit in it.

I don't understand why they don't keep him in the back garden? Surely he could get out onto the road?

I know you don't want to rock the boat here, but you can be a bit firm. I can't believe you're not pissed off about the dog mess! I'd say something like, "I've tried to talk to you about this before but I don't think you realise how much it affects me. I know your dog is lovely but I do have a phobia I'm working on, and this is really setting me back, and making me anxious about leaving my home. I also really don't want a dog messing in my garden, at all. Please keep him on a lead."

I'm sorry your neighbours are so ignorant OP.
I have dogs and I would never allow them to bounce up to people, especially someone who is apprehensive around dogs.

It sounds like they are unwilling to do anything and you don't want to rock the boat, so I agree your best bet is to get to know the dog and overcome your fears for your own sake. Imagine how good you'll feel to get rid of those worries.

I suggest getting to know the dog.
Expose yourself to being around him bit by bit. Maybe in company of someone else at first. Then gradually get closer and closer until you are confident walking past him alone. Do you have someone experienced around dogs who could do this exposure with you?

I know it's not ideal, and you shouldn't have to. But I hope you can.

Take your son over with some treats - don't let him catch your anxiety over the dog, I'm sure you know how horrible it is to be scared and it doesn't sound like there is any reason for him to fear, it's a great learning opportunity for him to know how to handle a dog that approaches. I'm aware this will not fix your issue but it will help with a part of the problem.

The dog will be aware of your smell and who you are, so it's not* going to attack you no.

When you say it's lined with trees can you not have a flood light above your door?

Can we get a diagram?

They're not good owners but knowing that doesn't help you. They're totally in the wrong. It shouldn't be roaming free or pooing on your lawn whether they pick up or not.

It's not about being on a lead. It is about roaming free. They need to contain the dog so it can't come into other people's properties and to keep it safe. They are not responding to polite concern so I think you need to be blunt. "I would like the dog to not come onto my property..." "The dog must be supervised and must not jump on me or my visitors". How they achieve that is up to them but you need to be clear what you are asking for.

As an alternative, if they carry on being crap neighbours, get a squeaky ball(or a supply) and throw it far away from you when you are coming up the drive!

There's been a recent study on cockerpoos and other designer cross breeds. It says they have more problem behaviours than purebred dogs and the owners are ...to paraphrase ... Not as good either!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwyx81517jxo

"Crossbreed owners were more likely to be first-time dog owners and more likely to use non-professional sources of training advice, such as social media or friends and family."

I have a super friendly, happy, bouncy dog but there's no way I'd let it interfere with anyone who didn't want to interact. Their behaviour is really poor, even more so if you feel intimidated when leaving your house. I'd be inclined to speak to your neighbours again and point out the impact this is having on you. It shouldn't be free roaming outside anyway and as for allowing it to crap in your garden??? I think that you have been too nice. They should be mortified.

Can you put up a gated fence around your driveway and garden? Honestly don't know any dog owners who would let their dogs straight out into an unenclosed garden near a road. Lazy and irresponsible.

I used to be terrified of dogs (I crossed roads, couldn’t visit family unless a dog was removed to a garden).
Then we bought a puppy for our DC. As your NDNs’ is young, you’re in the best position to fully enjoy him and overcome your fear.
Whilst my thoughts won’t apply to all dogs, I think the age and breed fit.
He’s probably barking to get attention or to protect his “area”. He knows you, knows your smell, you’re part of his pack. He’s welcoming or protecting you, not threatening you as a stranger.
Each time the dog bounds up, which is normal puppy behaviour, extend your arm and flatten your palm putting your hand towards the dog’s face. This gives a physical barrier and a clear message you won’t tolerate jumping up. You don’t have to speak. Just put your palm out and extend it firmly.
When he does what you want him to do reward him: an emphatic “Good boy,” / gravy bone/ tiny morsel of cooked sausage/ an ear tickle (dogs love being touched).
You’ll have him wrapped round your little finger in no time and discover a lovely new friend.

So they just let it run around freely off lead and it poos in your garden. ! Just because they pick it up doesn't mean its OK.
Try and talk to them again, this is not ok.

I hate those dog owners who say 'its ok, hes friendly ' as the dog is jumping on you, and people who say 'you should try and make friends with it'
If you wanted a dog you'd have got one.
Not everyone wants to clap dogs or have a dog slobber on them. Unless in their own house/garden or designated dog parks, dogs should be on leads.

cant you make it in a different way, what if it gets knocked over,delivery drivers, people going past you are worried for the safety of the dog,do they pick up the dog poo or is it just left out on its own,do you stand in the dog poo etc you walked it into your house,

I love dogs but I admire your determination to get over your fear. I'm sure getting to know this dog will help even though I think the owners should contain him for the dogs own safety if nothing else.