AIBU to ask neighbours to keep their dog on a lead?

It is absolutely not ok for their dog to be in your garden, and certainly not pooing in your garden. Even if they pick up the poo, the traces of dog faeces can cause Toxocariasis which is why dogs are prohibited from sports pitches. Children have been blinded due to dog faeces.
There is legislation which would cover this and can be enforced by the local authority:

• Clean neighbourhoods and Environments Act 2005 (includes shared residential passageways)
• Community Protection Notices.

I would get a camera set up which can record your garden in order to have evidence of the problem.

It is their responsibility to prevent their dog from entering your garden. I would try again to have an informal conversation about it highlighting the risks to your child. Then I'd take it further and put it in writing to them.

she knows the dog.

Absolutely this.

You need to stop explaining your feelings about dogs and stick to challenging their unacceptable behaviour.

'Please keep the dog under control on the shared driveway. Please keep the dog away from me and my child.'

You are apologising, when these owners are the ones in the wrong.

I would check this with the owners first before buying treats.

I would also repeat that they need to keep their dog on a lead. I'm stunned they think their dog pooing in your garden is ok, and I am a dog lover. What do the other neighbours think?

I agree with thos saying it's probably worth getting to know the dog, BUT, the owners also need to understand the situation and take more responsibility. Another chat with them, explaining how you know the dog is friendly, but you and your son don't like it running up to you, and could they please make sure it's contained, is completely reasonable (and complying with the law!)

Could you hide in your car until the dog comes out, then run the fucker over?

This is not good advice, never put your hand in front of a dog you don’t know, an anxious dog could easily have their first bite this way. She needs to ignore the dog as much as possible and tell the neighbours to sort it out.

I’m a dog owner and dog lover, HOWEVER dog owners need to recognise they are literally breaking the law if their dog is not under control and causes alarm or distress to a person, breaching the dangerous dogs act (regardless of breed!!) they absolutely have a duty to have the dog under control. They are being unreasonable and selfish. Unfortunately lots of people are thick and think “they’re fine” when actually their dog is reactive and anxious.

Dogs have to be under control at all times in a public area and bluntly if a breed like this is not getting their needs met, theres every chance something could happen.
This is typical of these type of breed owners.
I would go in a bit harder, make them aware you know the laws around dogs and they shouldn’t be roaming free in areas outside of their home out of control.
Say their temperament is irrelevant, you are not comfortable with it and will have to escalate if it continues.
Feel sorry for the dog, for context, I have a high energy dog (a rescue as I won’t contribute to the current overbreeding) and she has been out 5 times today. That’s because she needs it.
It’s appalling that the dog isn’t walked and definitely not something you should have to deal with.

OP, can you spray your garden with citronella or get one of those things that let off a dog screech only audible to dogs. It should not be going in your garden.

Why on earth are they letting it poo and wee in your garden? That's totally unacceptable even if they clean it up as you have a child who would not want to be treating in poo residue. I think the owners are awful people and shouldn't be letting their dog interfere with the lives of others. It was their choice to get a dog and it's being allowed to run free at the front of the houses. Why doesn't it use the back garden. I live right next to a playing field and I wouldn't dream of just letting my two little dogs out off their lead just to do what they like especially if it upsets other people. Please OP make a stand against them using your garden as a toilet at the very least. That's totally unacceptable.

You could start going out in your car in the evenings when it’s dark - they might stop leaving the dog running loose when you are zooming up and down the driveway!

Have you said to them: “Is there a reason you cannot let your dog run around in your back garden? It would be safer as I’m always worried it will get in the way of the car, it would be a shame if it was run over because it’s loose.”

I agree with the not providing treats, once he figures that out he'll be coming to you all the time.... not that I have any other ideas for you. However, the crapping in your garden is not on and I'd be really angry at that.

It needs to be contained in the back garden, letting it shit on your garden is bang out of order!

God i would not tolerate this. You absolutely should not have to worry about an off lead dog not being properly controlled when walking into your own home.

I can see befriending the dog might help but I would be considering moving. !

Completely left field - buy the treats, and then start teaching it tricks.

If it bounds up to you - no treat. Sits nicely - get a treat. Teach him to spin around, or lay down, or go through your legs, or his nose to touch your palm etc

Your son could have a great time!

Always been dogs around here and they get to know who lives there, so never attacked anyone but those who shouldn't be there. The only dogs I've every heard of attacking strangers are ones that aren't looked after/badly bred, eg people who deliberately have illegal dogs, or else people who don't watch their dogs around kids.
It's not always possible for people to use leads, eg if they're already holding on to their kids/have certain mobility issues.
Just as with kids, if a dog is running into people, it's reasonable to ask them to have it under control. It's not a question as to whether a neighbour likes kids or dogs-that's irrelevant. Any adult who chooses to have them needs to stop them disturbing people,

Perhaps a dog tazer, just in case?

are dogs inclined to attack if they can’t see properly?

No, they're not. Dogs can see much, much better in darkness than you can. Dark to you is more like early dusk to a dog. They can see you fine outdoors at night. Also, remember that sight is only one of the ways dogs know you're there. They also use smell and hearing, both of which are incredibly sensitive in dogs, so even if it's dark they'll be aware of you and you're unlikely to startle them. The dog sees you constantly and knows who you are.

I can't offer advice on the shared driveway situation, but I would have thought if it's as much theirs as yours, they wouldn't have to keep the dog on a lead. Really not sure, though. They should certainly be taking the poor thing for proper walks, obviously.

I wouldn’t buy treats or it will come over every time it sees you. I’m also very particular about what I feed my dog as she has a sensitive stomach so wouldn’t be happy about my neighbour feeding random treats either.

i think the best thing you can do it try to spend more time with the dog, who sounds friendly by the way. Also try putting your hand out and saying ‘no’ when it tries to jump. Hopefully as it’s quite young it will stop trying to jump at people when its older and better trained

No advice but I'm sorry for you.

I absolutely hate off-lead dogs. We live near a park and have been jumped at and scratched four times this year by three different dogs. People are so entitled and have no understanding of how terrifying dogs can be for people with phobias.

I wouldn’t buy treats OP
The dog is more likely to be excited and jump if you have something they want. Do get to get to know the dog, let them sniff and familiarise themselves with you.

I see both sides in this, my busy dog settles much better at night after a sniff about.
What about bringing a torch when you go out at night so you can see the dog and then you?

I think your best bet is to befriend him. Yes, they could be more considerate but ultimately he isn't actually doing anything wrong and you share a driveway with these people.

Spaniels are typically bouncy, cuddly toddlers and should be pretty easy to make friends with. Just offer your hand for him to sniff, talk to him in an upbeat, slightly higher pitched voice, like when you talk to a baby and he will be straight over for fuss.

My neighbours dog always barks when someone walks up the alleyway but if you call out to her, Hi Molly! she stops. He is extremely unlikely to bite you, especially if he knows you and recognises your voice and smell.

vile comment. none of this is the dogs fault. this is an entirely manageable situation. no need at all for violence towards an innocent animal.

The advice OP has been given is about how to understand the dog's behaviour get over her fear not to placate the dog. The OP has stated she wants to get over her fear.

Kicking the dog will only make things worse.