AIBU to ask neighbours to keep their dog on a lead?

Don't try and pet the dog, just talk on a calm voice. Don't talk in a baby silly voice.when dogs are afraid they whine. To the dog, you talking in a high pitched voice sounds like you are scared. Always keep your voice low and calm....Good dog. Gooooood dog and keep walking.

I love dogs more than humans, and have a huge fluffy gentle dog. I trained him from tiny to never jump up on people.
It's really annoying even for me. It's poor owners that allow their dog to jump up.
Spaniels are goofy dogs anyway. Playful, barky and always waiting for a cuddle. That's probably all this one is doing.
By the way we'll done to you for working on your fear.
Just this one more mountain to climb.

He doesn't need to like you - he simply needs to not be there!

No, he's just unsure of you. Get down to his level and talk to him in a silly voice. They can tell when you are nervous so he's probably thinking 'human is worried, why worried, should I be worrying?'

The thing is,

1. Dogs are the same as humans, you can't make them instantly like you!

1. The dog may ALWAYS bark when you go down the drive. Dogs bark for all reasons. Some dogs bark for no reason at all.

A safe way to befriend the dog is to pay it minimal attention when you pass it, but drop a treat on the ground as you do, and say "hi" or something. No reaching down for a pet or giving the treat from your hand. Minimal attention and no fuss.

I would say hes unsure, my dog doesnt like strangers touching his head and hes a bit of a nervous dog, but hes better if you tickle his chin! I explain it to people as imagining someone you don't know suddenly looms towards your head with their big hand! I'm no expert but my dogs better if people ignore him and carry on doing whatever and then he'll come in for a sniff when hes ready - you could try that?

If it's a shared use path it should be on a lead.

I doubt your postperson or other delivery people are massively happy about it either.

I’ve been a dog owner most my life and your neighbours are being unreasonable. They need to keep the dog in, or in their back garden. You shouldn’t be intimidated by their dog on your property.

That it is pooing and peeing in your garden is completely unacceptable.

i agree with the suggestions that you need to be blunt and tell them it needs to stop.

If after your discussion they realise that they must fence their back garden in then so be it. Sounds as though it is long overdue.
If they say that they like sitting out the front, acknowledge this but say "I have to ask you not to have your dog loose when you are doing this, nor when you are not here."

Just tell them - I am sure that you will be polite - that you can no longer cope with the dog roaming about out the front and that it is stopping your post being delivered and causing inconvenience. Tell them that is is making you feel anxious and stressed and that you are sure that this is not what they want. Say that you would prefer to sort this out in a neighbourly way. (subtle hint that you could speak to council dog warden).

Basically the problem is that (apart from their ill manners and lack of consideration which is obviously behind this) you do not feel able to be assertive with them over this. We all find it hard but have to find ways of doing this when necessary.

Some tips:

• Use "I" language: Frame thoughts from your own view, e.g., "I feel unhappy with this " instead of "You are being inconsiderate."
• Drop unnecessary apologies: You have nothing to apologise for so do not go in with "I am really sorry to bother you/I realise it is my problem", but rather "I need to discuss your dog with you as he is causing me problems."
• Keep "No" simple: "No, it is not possible for this to continue."
• Address behavior, not character: "Your dog is causing me a nuisance" rather then "You are a pair of irresponsible inconsiderate pillocks!"
• Make constructive suggestions in a positive way: "I would like you to let your dog exercise in the back garden and not out the front" rather than "I wonder if you would mind letting it out the back?"
• Be explicit about the way forward and where you stand: "I do not want us to fall out as I value our good relationship, but I need to be clear that this is not a situation that can continue" rather than "I wonder maybe if you could ...?"

You are looking at this all wrong. You are delving into your past and coming up with reasons why it is your fault - it is not! - it is theirs!

Say as little as possible - it is very easy in this sort of conversation to start babbling on and not checking what comes out of our mouths! Have a clear list in your head of what you need to say and count to 4 before everything you say.

Have the script in your head - practice it beforehand.

Only you can sort this! Do not be a doormat!! You have rights too!

You have not said if you have back gardens. If you do why is the dog not being put out there?

I would be furious if I could not get post delivered because of selfish idiot neighbours. I love dogs but would not want one keep coming up to me on MY drive and barking at me.

What if you had a dog? My dog is friendly but does not like other dogs running up to him when on lead and, obviously, this dog would do that.

I can't believe how selfish and stupid your neighbours are.

I agree that it would be better if the neighbours controlled the dog but I can’t make them!

You can! - but understandably do not want to sour relations. But from your end they are already soured by their inconsiderate behaviour. Do they not have a back garden for the dog to roam about in?

They don't take the dog for a walk? What? Never?

Palling up with the dog is not the answer. The owner controlling their dog is.
It is entirely reasonable of you to tell the neighbours you are not getting your post because of their dog.
I am puzzled though as to how the postman managed to put a note through your door but not the post!!

That's really brave of you, well done. It's worth remembering that dogs bark to communicate, so they can bark if they're pleased to see you too!

I'd raise with the neighbours that your deliveries are affected though.

Let us hope the postman approaches the dog warden. Maybe you could drop him a subtle hint when you next see him and request confidentiality.

I think you are handling this very well and admire you for trying to conquer your fears.

For a bit of extra light could you get some solar lights for the front of your house?

My daughter is scared of dogs, she's doing so much better than she was. She's not a fan of things in her face and being small and the height of a medium size dog meant she got a lot of "only friendly" dogs in her face. We also had an incident where a young dog came at her to play after being let out without its owners and it escaped from it's front garden as we walked past.

She's not quite 6 and what I do is narrate as we dogs approach us. The dog is on its lead we are just going to step to the side and it will walk past us nicely and we can continue down the hill. Or it's an older dog and there is plenty of space for us to pass one another. We don't give the dog any attention and I don't interact with the owners any more and as on of the previous posters mentioned when you ignore them they do just carry on.

I'd look at some small lights so that you could improve your vision so less likely to be startled by the dog unexpectedly? Maybe it's something you could suggest to the owners too, or reflective collar? They should be keeping it under better control but in lieu of that making it easier for you to determine where it is when it's dark would hopefully improve your anxieties around surprised by it