Page 2 | Over used mumsnet phases?

WillTheRealDeanGaffneyPleaseStandUp · 2026-07-20T07:00:14+00:00

You/he/she is a narcissist. You don't sound very nice/pleasant. I'm self diagnosed with ADHD/Autism. She/he must have ADHD/Autism. You need to make your partner do X. (Because that is how adult relationships work). Op: I need a new dress. Mn: here is a shapeless sack the colour of sludge that costs almost £200. I hate Boden. I fancy Greg Davies. ... What have I missed?

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 23/07/2026 16:30

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 16:03

@WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz
Yes agreed. In the case of seeing a doctor I agree nobody is going to care what the gender is.

For me, I feel a need to know the gender in a post about relationships. If a woman is a SAHM, and refers to her partner as "they" and lists all the ways this partner was useless or, controlling the finances, or was emotionally distant or had thumped her, or whatever, then I would mentally want to know the partner's gender and if I were to comment , at that point I would make an assumption. And wait for confirmation from Op to me or to another user saying anything.

Edited

Agreed, gender is definitely relevant in relationship posts.

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 16:03

@WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz
Yes agreed. In the case of seeing a doctor I agree nobody is going to care what the gender is.

For me, I feel a need to know the gender in a post about relationships. If a woman is a SAHM, and refers to her partner as "they" and lists all the ways this partner was useless or, controlling the finances, or was emotionally distant or had thumped her, or whatever, then I would mentally want to know the partner's gender and if I were to comment , at that point I would make an assumption. And wait for confirmation from Op to me or to another user saying anything.

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 15:57

Lomonald · 23/07/2026 13:54

This is grammatically correct isn't it? They them he she all pronouns, if a poster is talking about their child without context then I would say they if i was commenting, I wouldn't pop in a he just because.

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Oh yes, I'm the same for children , as gender not obviously going to be central to the post.

But in a post where the Op is talking about relationships, for example when I am trying to understand whether a woman lives with a man or another woman, if they were to say "them" and if I were to write anything, then I at first assume her partner is a he..Unless the post seems to be in some way pointing to the fact they are in a same sex relationship. For children, yes the precise gender isn't often that significant. It's really questions on couples and their relationships.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 23/07/2026 14:11

Lomonald · 23/07/2026 13:54

This is grammatically correct isn't it? They them he she all pronouns, if a poster is talking about their child without context then I would say they if i was commenting, I wouldn't pop in a he just because.

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Singular they is grammatically fine and has been used for centuries.

Personally I still find it very irritating when the writer knows the gender of the person they're referring to, but use "they" to obscure it.

But I don't see how calling an unknown person he or she instead of they is any better.
"I went to see my doctor."
"What did they say?"
Not confusing or modern in the slightest.

Cosyblankets · 23/07/2026 13:57

Tell me XYZ without telling me XYZ

Lomonald · 23/07/2026 13:54

grumpygrape · 23/07/2026 09:59

I often refer to posters as 'them' because I don't know their gender. Her/him is cumbersome.

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This is grammatically correct isn't it? They them he she all pronouns, if a poster is talking about their child without context then I would say they if i was commenting, I wouldn't pop in a he just because.

grumpygrape · 23/07/2026 13:24

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 10:11

@grumpygrape I would just guess the gender and say him or her , unless the whole issue had no bearing on gender.. I think most on here do though, hence my confusion when unclear.

Edited

Oh well, you do you 😉. I'd prefer to be 'they' than 'him'. 🙂

mommaham · 23/07/2026 11:11

This says more about you than the person....🙄

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 10:11

@grumpygrape I would just guess the gender and say him or her , unless the whole issue had no bearing on gender.. I think most on here do though, hence my confusion when unclear.

grumpygrape · 23/07/2026 09:59

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 08:58

So pleased to see you feel the same as me with the "them" and "they". I would love to go back to the days when it denoted more than one. I guess they call that progress.

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I often refer to posters as 'them' because I don't know their gender. Her/him is cumbersome.

EmailsaysOOO · 23/07/2026 08:58

LBFseBrom · 20/07/2026 09:35

Not so much phrases but overuse of some words: they, them, their.

I get all the gender neutral stuff but not everyone is gender neutral, the majority are he or she and when a poster starts off talking about one person and then continues with them and them, etc, it's inappropriate and confusing, frequently sounds as though they are talking about several.

Mumsnet is the worst place I have come across for that, it's as if nearly everyone here has bought into the zeitgeist and has forgotten basic grammar and syntax.

So pleased to see you feel the same as me with the "them" and "they". I would love to go back to the days when it denoted more than one. I guess they call that progress.

sammylady37 · 23/07/2026 08:15

x2boys · 22/07/2026 12:42

Boils my piss ( cant stand this one)
give your head a wobble
cockwomble.

I hate ‘boils my piss’ also, but even worse is ‘I lost my shit’. They’re both awful phrases.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/07/2026 08:04

Oh I don’t know whether this has been said but “crack on”.

”Just have a coffee and crack on”, “put your baby in a sling and crack on” - or whatever situation they don’t want to empathise with.

Such an irritating expression.

Just say “get on with it” if that’s what you mean, but either way it’s unsympathetic.

MinnieCoops · 23/07/2026 08:01

Wow just wow

thisfilmisboring123 · 23/07/2026 07:59

BeanQuisine · 23/07/2026 05:59

But too often implying: "You're not entitled to an opinion on what other people do".

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Or a sarky meaning.
Something like, ‘I think you’re an idiot if you’re going to do that’.

BeanQuisine · 23/07/2026 05:59

LBFseBrom · 23/07/2026 04:56

That's pretty general, not invented by Mumsnet.
I actually like it, it is a precis of, "You do what you want", or "You do what you think best".

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But too often implying: "You're not entitled to an opinion on what other people do".

LBFseBrom · 23/07/2026 04:56

mommaham · 22/07/2026 00:36

You do you.

That's pretty general, not invented by Mumsnet.
I actually like it, it is a precis of, "You do what you want", or "You do what you think best".

EmptyInTheValley · 22/07/2026 17:11

Ooh, just remembered this one as just saw it on another thread:

"He's not your partner, he's your boyfriend" trotted out about people in relationships who happen to not live together. So demeaning.

x2boys · 22/07/2026 12:42

Boils my piss ( cant stand this one)
give your head a wobble
cockwomble.

EligibleTern · 22/07/2026 06:37

pambeesleyhalpert · 21/07/2026 21:41

I’ve always thought it means hang the head! Like hang your head in shame. A lot of the time I didn’t make sense so thanks for clearling that up 😂

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This really made me laugh 🤣 I'm going to start thinking of it like that now!

OneLimeDuck · 22/07/2026 00:59

I call reverse.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 22/07/2026 00:53

Everyone is grabbing and jumping all the time eg. grabbing a coffee, jumping in the shower.

mommaham · 22/07/2026 00:36

You do you.

roseymoira · 22/07/2026 00:12

Police. Now

I’m probably on the spectrum but undiagnosed

FunkyFringe · 22/07/2026 00:08

boundaries