AIBU to refuse my niece joining my son's one-to-one tutor sessions?

What a daft and petty asnwer.

Maybe say yes to neice and then make sure your ds uses headphones for the session. Your sister doesn't need to know he doesn't usually

Please do not listen to this rubbish suggestion. I clearly remember way back when I was sitting my final year and my aunt wanted me to tutor my cousin. Exact same situation. He was so far behind, had big gaps and I wasn’t a bloody tutor! I was focused on my own exam!
completely not fair to ask this of someone.

Tell your sister she is really dishonest and teaching her child to lie and you won’t be participating in that. Shame on her

You’re not even remotely unreasonable. At almost 18, your DS absolutely should have been in the conversation so I entirely understand you speaking to him. It is a bad idea for all of the reasons articulated - it changing your son’s experience, being of minimal benefit to your niece, being unfair to the tutor and potentially having your tutoring sessions cancelled. I also would absolutely not be stumping up for your niece’s tutoring. If she hadn’t been such a CF and had asked you about pricing, contact details etc I might have been inclined to offer part payment of 1 session, or even full payment of 1 session, to see if she liked it as a birthday or early Christmas present but with her current behaviour I wouldn’t actively encourage contact with the tutor at all for worry that she’ll pressure the tutor to drop prices or somehow cut some other deal. Stand your ground OP, this isn’t a you problem

In theory, a teacher can teach a level below which they are educated.

Therefore, anyone with gcse maths should be able to teach ks3 maths. A well resourced department should have the teaching materials available.

I do know, from experience, that there's a lot of useless teachers out there. They're simply not interested. I wanted all of my students to pass. Some teachers simply didn't care.

I have never taught History but I know I could, because I have studied history at degree level and I have an interest in history. The most important part of any subject is the assessment objectives.

A Biology teacher would have sufficient scientific knowledge to teach gcse chemistry. A level maths is much more difficult than ks3 maths.

Another personal bugbear of mine is teachers who don't go to school, or don't teach when they are there. Students are in trouble for poor attendance. If their attendance is below 80% they are unlikely to pass their gcses. Most schools demand over 90%. How can kids pass if their teacher is absent for 30% of the year. Yet that is ok with the school.

@EveryMinuteAndEveryHour

Hell, no! A 1:1 tutor session is incredibly expensive & tailored specifically to the student for that reason. Don’t let your VERY CF sister guilt trip you.

I used to be a German teacher, and was surprised to see Y9 maths on my timetable when I came back one September. This was back when we did Y9 SATS. I had no experience in maths whatsoever (apart from studying it at GCSE), and nobody discussed it with me—it was just plonked into my timetable.

😼 Miaow

I have only done tutoring with two students present, in person, and it was a bloody nightmare. Similar scenario, one was the original student and then a cousin was shoehorned in. They were at entirely different stages in terms of understanding, and it was impossible to cater to both of them.
In the end they separated out and had individual lessons.
I know it might seem unfair but tutoring is business. You can afford to pay and your sister cannot. It’s life I am afraid.
I can remember when I was first tutoring - and I was teaching as well - and one student really improved. His teacher asked if he had a tutor and the student said, yes! So the teacher asked for the handouts I was giving him and started using them in his lessons. I had no idea - the CF! The teacher actually told me himself at a training course a couple of years later, he was an old hand and enjoyed the more contemporary ‘stuff’ I was providing. He was in a private school as well.
Your sister is guilt tripping you. It’s not your job to educate or clothe her daughter. Maybe you’d be more inclined to help if she didn’t badger you?

@HarshbutTrue2
"That's interesting and probably true. Which raises the question of why are such useless teachers teaching in schools??"

Chemistry teachers are in short supply (and Physics, and Maths). So Dd's fill in Chemistry teacher was a Geography teacher who did some chemistry in their degree, with a biology teacher doing a couple of lessons a week.

Lack of depth in subject knowledge is a big problem when you never studied the subject.

At my sisters's school - she is a deputy head - they have had the PE teacher doing Y7/8 Maths for 2 terms because they simply can't get STEM teachers and he had done Maths at A level.

Tutoring is a rapidly growing, decently paid profession for a reason.

That's interesting and probably true. Which raises the question of why are such useless teachers teaching in schools??

For the record, I was a private tutor. Some of my students had been badly taught at school. It was amazing. However, for GCSE, my students tended to fall into 2 categories - those who wanted to just scrape through with a grade 4, they would have ticked a box and would never do my subject again. The others usually wanted a grade 6 or 7 in order to do A levels. It was a school requirement, many of them were brilliant at Maths or Chemistry but only average in English, my subject.

On the subject of 1:1 tuition, the tutee should have about 50% input into the lesson. It is a question of discovering the student's weaknesses and clarifying areas of misunderstanding. A second tutee would have entirely different issues and would slow the process down. I was constantly questioning my students and checking their understanding.

By A levels, the student should be able to cope with the workload. It they can't, they are not fit for University. My point was, where does it stop? So many of today's kids are mollycoddled so much that they are not fit for the workplace.

Seems a bit harsh. Sometimes our kids just need a different approach, from a different person.

Dds chemistry teacher did not have the skills or subject knowledge depth in one or 2 topics, the tutor specialised in those topics. We paid to fill the gaps. Most tutors are engaged to fill gaps - which is why 1 to 1 works best.

Well done you.
Is your offspring at uni now? Are you paying for extra uni tuition?

What sort of career is your child aiming for? Will you be paying for a career coach to prepare them for the interview?

I paid £50 an hour for in person Higher chemistry tutor, he had a PhD in chemistry and had been head of chemistry at a well regarded private school, this was 3 years ago though.. I paid £45 an hour last year and the year before for online Nat 5 and Higher English tuition for my son, she was a principal teacher of English in her school. We are in Scotland.

We are £55ph for maths and £65ph for English. Both with long waiting lists.

Yes, that sounds worth it for the expertise.
To add, you are most definitely not being unreasonable to not want the niece to sit in on the sessions.

Totally cheeky and unacceptable. Tell them that the whole point of 1-2-1 tuition is so your son can feel comfortable to discuss, learn and make mistakes without classmates or peers. Having a relative listening in changes that dynamic for him. If they want tuition, they can find small group sessions and budget for one from their own pocket, not invite their DC to yours! CF.

Oh, they're students? That's different.
I doubt very much they're "brilliant", but can no doubt guide through the specification, which can be useful.

Well...they are students themselves so not yet teachers which explains it. You get what you pay for I suppose. Having said that some are brillant.

That's more like it, considering the level of knowledge and skills. What on earth can you get nowadays for £25 ph?.

£25 per hour for A level tuition? That's ridiculously cheap. I charge £50 per hour, and am in huge demand. Those teachers are under selling themselves.

London here and for a top tutor (ex head of subject/ex examiner in subject) it’s £75

Bbbbbbut she's famileeeee. Beeeee kind
😉

So your sister is a CF.
Hassling your daughter for her clothes for free.
I wouldn't want her near my children.
She sounds like a grifter.