Not let dd2 join dd1’s hobby

This is exactly what I'd do - it may just be a passing fancy based on a film and forgotten in a week. I wouldn't bring it up again after saying 'we'll look at the classes available for September'. However, I don't think I could curtail one DC's interest in a hobby just because the older child already did it. If she mentions it in a month or so, make sure she understands that another hobby of hers may have to end to facilitate the classes. As long as they are given a clear choice and are old enough to make those decisions, they need to be driving their interests.

I don’t think it’s fair to stop the younger one doing the hobby , you just need to boost the older one’s self esteem in other areas .

Is it really a punishment to not be allowed to do every single hobby or sport you ask for? Surely most parents set limits on quantity of extra curricular actives.

Sounds like she has lots already.

As I said, in any case it is something that needs to be worked on whilst she is young. Punishing her sister when she has done nothing wrong isn't the answer.

I wouldn't let her join.
She'll have to find another place to do that hobby if that is possible - or else pick another hobby.
Your DD1 is entitled to have something that is just hers.

I agree.

Thing is with as the older one you can never "win".
You do better, it's simply because you're older and you should be sensitive to the younger one who is looking up to you, so we'll say well done very quietly, but you can't talk about it because they might be upset...

They do better or almost as well and it's amazing how good they are, because they are younger and must be so talented. And they're only pleased to have done so well so you must let them talk about it and you're older so must be more understanding and proud of how well they've done.

Find something similar, but not the same.

I'm team DD1 for now. Not even because of the 'better' thing, but because children need their own space, and if they are close in age need to make a conscious effort to ensure this. Even when bigger gap this can happen- mine are 3 school years apart and next year will be the first and possibly only year they are in same school when DD1 in year 6 and DD2 moves into juniors from infants for year 3. DD1 is one of those naturally all round excelling children- academically, sport, music etc. DD2 went on transition day and got well meaning comments about being 'as amazing as her big sister', but is very average in all areas and came home worried she wouldn't be as good as her big sister.

If in a year or so DD2 still wants to do it, them it might be worth reconsidering.

I’d hate to feel the way ops dd1 does. It’s got to hurt.

And then Her parents might let her sibling join the one thing she has that’s hers and lose her love of that because of course dd2 is better and always picked by the coach over her.

Watch her withdraw away and never try a new hobby or sport again incase her sister steals that as well.

Boyfriends I bet will be fun when older as well 😬😬

It's a very unpleasant way to describe it, particularly when these feelings stem from feelings of inadequacy. Very dismissive too.

I think it’s cheerleading too. I’ve got a twin who was always better at me and the things I’m better than her at she didn’t do. I think encourage dd2 to try a different sport.

Easy way to describe the feeling of always being the lesser sibling. The one who’s never best at anything. Despite being the older sibling the smaller one.

A lot of feelings to work though for her age so jealous is an easy way to describe it.

It's good for siblings to find their thing but your younger child shouldn't be denied the chance to begin a new hobby just because your older one is jealous.

There's always going to be people in life who are better at us at certain things, maybe learning this lesson early will be good for your 9 yo in the long run.

If you deny your younger daughter, it's clear favouritism to the older.

I think it would be very wrong to limit DD2's opportunities in order to pander to DD1's jealousy. I absolutely think you're right to work with DD1 to develop her confidence and self-esteem. But you've said DD2 has done nothing wrong, so why should she be penalised?

It can be tricky to have children so close in age if there is a notable difference in achievement. But IMO essentially giving DD1 the power to veto her sister's choice of hobby is a recipe for disaster for both girls and for their relationship.

She been watching Bring It On?

OP says it is jealousy. Either way, it needs to be supported to help manage because DD2 can't be stopped from doing things just in case she's better at it.

If DD2 already does lots of activities, is be inclined to say that she's already doing enough, and she should concentrate on those/you can't afford more/whatever alternative reason makes most sense in your case.

DD2 is already concerned that the relationship with get sister has deteriorated, so do her a favour and don't make a decision that will make the relationship even worse.

I sympathise with you and I was in the same boat. I would tell DD2 to find something else - not just on the whim of watching a movie. Or could she join this hobby at a different club to DD1?

So she's taller, stronger and more flexible?

So is this a sport or an activity rather than a hobby? (I'd call stamp collecting a hobby).

If it's genuinely a hobby (ie what many people would consider a pointless preoccupation) then I'd suggest DD2 do something different.

But if it's a sport or a physical activity where DD2 (or DD1) can enjoy some sort of achievement or competition you should let DD2 go ahead.

You can't prevent her from doing so just because she might be (or is) better then her older sister

Its not jealousy

I had twins.

this happened with us - one twin wanted to start playing an instrument which the other had been playing for a couple of years.

we did allow it but it didn’t end well. The twin who started later was better than the other one within a year and she gave it up almost instantly.

it is a real knock to self confidence. Dd1 needs to have something which is “her” thing.

both of mine actually moved on to other instruments and neither played it (violin) for very long but they had different instruments after that.

I think she doesn’t get to choose a new hobby on the basis of watching a film. I’d leave the subject for now, then in September, look at everyone’s schedules and reassess. With possibly some other new, even more exciting option for DD2 so that she doesn’t do DD1’s hobby. Probably you want to put a limit on the number of clubs they can do so they have to make choices.

I’m 100% team DD1. This exact thing happened to me with my younger sister, and I’m still resentful about it today. She wasn’t even better than me at the hobby, she just made a big song and dance about it, made it her whole personality, and had to constantly overshadow me. Of course, now we’re both in our 30s she hasn’t done it for more than 10 years while I literally made it my career.

I wish my parents had directed her to something else, one of the million other hobbies she started and never progressed with. This was my one ‘thing’.