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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to compare our finances to our friends with young kids?

53 replies

CliffScreen · 19/07/2026 18:15

I’m 30 happily married with very sweet but chaotic twin 2.5 y/o boys. They are VERY hard work and we’re 99% done with kids.

I sometimes think we aren’t doing ok as my friend has a young daughter and financially they’re in a much better position than us.

I work 2 days a week, husband works FT.
I have £40k saved and invested. We have our own small 3bed house and I also have equity in another home (inheritance).
We try to save around £500 a month but my husband is taking over a business franchise and we know it’ll be 3-4 years until we see real profits and change in our life.

I invest around £320/month into a SIPP. We try to give ourself good amount of spending money to have days out and treats etc.

Until the business is stable and a chunk of the business loan is paid off we will be quite stagnant in our position in life. It’s hard not to compare to others, AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Besidemyselfwithworry · 23/07/2026 19:06

usererror99 · 19/07/2026 18:59

🤣🤣🤣🤣
you work 2 days
you’d ave £500 a month £40k in the bank
£320 in a SIPP

yeah you’re positively on the breadline

Exactly do you want a food bank referral

vodkaredbullgirl · 23/07/2026 19:04

🤔Wonder why OP not been back, dump and run

Itsalittlebitwarm · 23/07/2026 19:01

My goodness, that's terrible 😞 You should have at least £600 000 for an emergency fund in savings by your thirties, 3 properties and a half a mil in investments. Time to step up me dearie, you're really lagging behind the average person. 😤

Hayfield123 · 21/07/2026 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Candy24 · 21/07/2026 08:06

HollyGolightly4 · 19/07/2026 18:16

🙄🙄🙄 keep bragging...

this. how out of touch is OP.lol

Tourmalines · 21/07/2026 06:58

BleedinglyObvious · 20/07/2026 12:17

Unless she's @Handsfreeme.
AIBU to feel stuck financially while working part-time with young twins? | Mumsnet

Show quote history

seems identical to me! Not sure what she wants to hear .

Tourmalines · 21/07/2026 06:53

Oh for god sake, are you really so blind.

CatherinedeBourgh · 21/07/2026 06:40

If you're investing in building up a business and you've still got savings and plenty of cash for treats you are doing really well.

That's the way it works in a business, you sacrifice in the early days and they you reap the rewards later, if it works. Something employees often miss when they are going on about how much people in business make...

dementedmummy · 21/07/2026 06:35

CliffScreen · 19/07/2026 18:15

I’m 30 happily married with very sweet but chaotic twin 2.5 y/o boys. They are VERY hard work and we’re 99% done with kids.

I sometimes think we aren’t doing ok as my friend has a young daughter and financially they’re in a much better position than us.

I work 2 days a week, husband works FT.
I have £40k saved and invested. We have our own small 3bed house and I also have equity in another home (inheritance).
We try to save around £500 a month but my husband is taking over a business franchise and we know it’ll be 3-4 years until we see real profits and change in our life.

I invest around £320/month into a SIPP. We try to give ourself good amount of spending money to have days out and treats etc.

Until the business is stable and a chunk of the business loan is paid off we will be quite stagnant in our position in life. It’s hard not to compare to others, AIBU to feel this way?

It's hard to tell whether you are doing better or worse than other people in your circle of influence as we don't know what you are comparing your life too. In general however it looks like you are doing well compared to the average Brit so crack on as you are. Comparison is the thief of joy remember

ThisMauveTurtle · 20/07/2026 19:00

Comparing yourself to your friend, for a start she only has one child.
Maybe you need to work full time , it may help ease your worries but with nursery age kids I think any financial improvement is unusual.
Normally with kids that age savings are depleted.
When mine were at nursery we were happy to just break even

Doximama2 · 20/07/2026 18:52

Whettlettuce · 20/07/2026 17:55

Has your friend told you shes in a better position financially than you or have you seen the hard evidence- bank statements, figures etc ? . Why are you discussing your finances with anyone other than your husband anyway .

You're in a good position but you know that, bragging on mumsnet is quite pathetic given the state most people are in financially, whatever the background. The education, family wealth or even social class of the people is irrelevant. Most people are having to cut cloth accordingly and strip back lifestyle creep. Be thankful you dont need to

I couldn’t agree more: very distasteful and unpleasant knowing what many people are going through these days

BrownBookshelf · 20/07/2026 18:51

The trope about comparison being the thief of joy is a trope for a reason.

PinkyFlamingo · 20/07/2026 18:51

What are you possibly hoping to achieve OP? Toske people jealous of you. FFS grow up a.d appreciate you are comfortable if you are saving all that money every month. What a pathetic post. You can't be living
in the real world?

Doximama2 · 20/07/2026 18:50

CliffScreen · 19/07/2026 18:15

I’m 30 happily married with very sweet but chaotic twin 2.5 y/o boys. They are VERY hard work and we’re 99% done with kids.

I sometimes think we aren’t doing ok as my friend has a young daughter and financially they’re in a much better position than us.

I work 2 days a week, husband works FT.
I have £40k saved and invested. We have our own small 3bed house and I also have equity in another home (inheritance).
We try to save around £500 a month but my husband is taking over a business franchise and we know it’ll be 3-4 years until we see real profits and change in our life.

I invest around £320/month into a SIPP. We try to give ourself good amount of spending money to have days out and treats etc.

Until the business is stable and a chunk of the business loan is paid off we will be quite stagnant in our position in life. It’s hard not to compare to others, AIBU to feel this way?

I think your being either purposely boastful to give your ego a boost or you are tone deaf to the reality of many young families financial situation!! (I’m 59 and so not in this bracket) you’re literally saying you have £40k invested, a house, money in another house and save a good amount every month. May I ask what more you think you should have for your age with 2 very young children?

Queequeg07 · 20/07/2026 18:48

Yes I agree OP. Life is so hard and unfair. I only have £100K spending money to last me till payday next week.

ReyRey12 · 20/07/2026 18:39

It is quite natural to compare yourself with others

Kayleighfish · 20/07/2026 18:36

Yes ok.

Wingingit73 · 20/07/2026 17:56

Why fo people brag like this. "Oh no. Ive only got a spare 40k".

Whettlettuce · 20/07/2026 17:55

Has your friend told you shes in a better position financially than you or have you seen the hard evidence- bank statements, figures etc ? . Why are you discussing your finances with anyone other than your husband anyway .

You're in a good position but you know that, bragging on mumsnet is quite pathetic given the state most people are in financially, whatever the background. The education, family wealth or even social class of the people is irrelevant. Most people are having to cut cloth accordingly and strip back lifestyle creep. Be thankful you dont need to

bridgetreilly · 20/07/2026 12:27

You have more than some people and less than others. Like literally everyone else.

YABU to think that comparisons are helpful in any way at all.

Coralsunset · 20/07/2026 12:25

Why have you posted this same thread again?

BleedinglyObvious · 20/07/2026 12:17

BleedinglyObvious · 20/07/2026 12:12

There are no other posts by the OP.

Unless she's @Handsfreeme.
AIBU to feel stuck financially while working part-time with young twins? | Mumsnet

pinkyredrose · 20/07/2026 12:14

You save £820 a month, I'd say you're doing ok.

BleedinglyObvious · 20/07/2026 12:12

There are no other posts by the OP.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/07/2026 23:26

So you save over £800 a month. Have £40k in savings

what is the issue Excatly ?