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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU for getting frustrated with DP for inserting themselves in situations between toddler and I

56 replies

Whatsitallaboot · 18/07/2026 16:57

DD, 3, is currently in the ‘what is this’ and ‘why’ stage, questioning everything, every 5 mins it seems. Last Saturday morning, after what seems like the 20th question of the morning I snapped and was fairly stern with DD, saying she doesn’t need to question everything, all the time. At this point DP decides to insert herself into the situation (this is a common occurrence), pointing out that I’m not being fair which in turn creates an argument between us as I’m resenting her for not giving me ‘breathing space’ or empathising with the relentlessness of the toddler phase. When I’m getting frustrated i don’t need my ‘flaws’ pointing out at that precise moment. AIBU in response to DP?

OP posts:
MrsPapillon · 18/07/2026 17:17

She’s a three year old. Her brain isn’t developed enough yet to filter her questions. And whilst it is irritating, getting stern with her will not stop it and will only upset her. Your brain however is fully developed and you need to master the art of patience. YABU.

Restlessdreams1994 · 18/07/2026 17:12

I think you need to talk to her about having some better coping strategies so you don’t get to the point of snapping. A three year old is not being naughty by asking questions, that’s normal behaviour. Can your partner step in and take over some of the childcare to give you a break from time to time so it doesn’t feel so relentless?

SallyD00lally · 18/07/2026 17:09

As frustrating as toddlers can be, no parent is going to like seeing theirs snapped at.

Even if it is by the other parent.

ColdAsAWitches · 18/07/2026 17:07

Waiting for this to be revealed as a reverse. There's no way you really see yourself as in the right when you're snapping at a three year old!

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 18/07/2026 17:05

Are you sure you’re handling it kindly and effectively? I don’t think sternness when a child is in the why phase is particularly helpful. Humour and detaching yourself a little works much better. So if she’s protecting your DC then she’s right
to do so.

While children are so young, they need directing into better behaviour rather than telling off.

DysmalRadius · 18/07/2026 17:03

On face value, telling a curious toddler not to question things is worse than a co-parent pointing out that you may be being a bit harsh IMO.

But why do you think your partner doesn't understand the toddler phase? Do they not engage or are they away a lot so just not experiencing it in the same way as you?

And why not ask your partner to take over for a bit if it's getting to much and you need breathing space rather than shutting down your child's questions? It does sound like you need a better strategy for coping with the 'why' phase but is your partner suggesting anything?