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AIBU?

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AIBU to challenge OUT OF CONTROL parents group chat?

255 replies

SySy7 · 18/07/2026 09:54

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 19/07/2026 18:38

How ridiculous. Just don't answer if you're not happy. Why shouldn't they post when they like. You're not their employer or parent to be monitoring this.

WimbyAce · 19/07/2026 18:31

I mean I'm not and have never been in a school group chat. It isn't compulsory.

aberamagold · 19/07/2026 18:24

Whatsapp is asynchronous communication.
If you only want to see messages between 9 and 5, only look at it between 9 and 5. This is entirely a 'you' problem.

Ceceprincess80 · 19/07/2026 18:24

The school has nothing to do with these groups. Just leave it and breathe a sigh of relief you read things

Zerosleep · 19/07/2026 18:18

If you don’t like it, mute the chat and you won’t receive notifications or simply leave. You don’t get to police the chat group. If you don’t like it, leave the group.

Bluestar1971 · 19/07/2026 18:18

It's easy just leave the group if you don't like it. Didn't have them when we were young or when my kids were little even about fifteen years ago

ThisSereneGoose · 19/07/2026 18:10

Sunshine5791 · 19/07/2026 18:08

I can pretty much guarantee that you won’t be the first person to mute the chat! You can’t dictate when other people post in it, but you can dictate when you look at the chat. Either mute, or put your phone on silent when you don’t want to be disturbed.

I would judge anyone who doesn't mute the chat, even admins do!
😂

Parker231 · 19/07/2026 18:10

SySy7 · 18/07/2026 10:24

Thanks for the heads up regarding archiving- I didn’t know I could do this! I don’t want to leave the group because I do miss important things from time to time and I also like to offer my help on the odd occasion. No I’m not expecting the school to ‘police’ the chat - more-so hoping for a message to be sent out to the reps or PTFA to relay the concept of basic consideration and spamming parents 24/7. It’s also not about trying to control ‘adult chat’ it’s mainly expecting people to show some basic courtesy and respect. I wouldn’t message family members or a neighbour at gone midnight or 5:50am in tbe morning. Why would I then message 90 parents doing exactly that?! It’s crazy. Especially as someone usually responds and off it goes again! The group chat is the only channel for comms from all avenues other than a slightly ambiguous weekly newsletter which really sets everyone off.

Edited

Just leave the group. The school will make you aware of any information you need. School WhatsApp groups are unnecessary.

Sunshine5791 · 19/07/2026 18:08

I can pretty much guarantee that you won’t be the first person to mute the chat! You can’t dictate when other people post in it, but you can dictate when you look at the chat. Either mute, or put your phone on silent when you don’t want to be disturbed.

OneMintWasp · 19/07/2026 18:06

Just lock it so you don't get notifications.

pouletvous · 19/07/2026 18:05

Just mute it

desperatemum1234 · 19/07/2026 18:04

Bloody hell OP as everyone has said, change your settings, dont dictate to other grown adults. Take responsibility for your own phone.

bryceQ · 19/07/2026 18:03

Just mute it and look when suits you…..

thefloorislavayes · 19/07/2026 18:03

Just mute the chat like everyone else

Twinmum0822 · 19/07/2026 18:00

I’ve archived the WhatsApp chat I’m in! Never wanted to be in it to begin with and I don’t think they want me in it as I’m the only white person and they don’t speak in English. So it got archived as I feel bad leaving it! Just archive it and forget it exists! It’s not na necessity to be a part of the chats, it’s literally just school

catlover123456789 · 19/07/2026 17:56

Just mute it. It doesn't sound like it's of any value to you.

cha04 · 19/07/2026 17:46

SySy7 · 18/07/2026 09:54

My 2 kids go to pretty decent school where the group chat is intertwined with class reps and PTFA. Theres around 90 parent members in each chat. My issue is not only the relentless money grab opportunities but the inconsiderate few who seem to think that messaging at 6am on Saturday mornings and sometimes gone midnight on a Friday evening to ask ridiculous stuff they could have directly asked one parent or a rep rather than 90 people is completely unacceptable? Where are peoples sense of boundaries, common sense and general respect? I’ve silenced before for holidays but all you see the minute you open your phone is 30 messages about school lunches or a fundraiser. I’m due to have a baby next week so have decided to remove myself from both chats for the time being for my own sanity but would it be unreasonable to contact the school come September and request that the group chat become more regulated? Say from 7am to 9pm on a school night for example and limited on weekends? Direct questions go to a rep? I get all parents have a morning panic from time to time for example but I’ve honestly never experience the sheer volume or anything like this before. One week we were sent the same advert for a group event over 15 times. It became literal spam and random parents were reposting the message/ad through like we hadn’t received it 45 mins ago? I’ll always help and support where I can - make donations and bake etc. I’m not against trying to make improvements but this next level. It does quieten down for holidays for a bit but always select few who just don’t give a damn! It might sound ridiculous but it actually gets me down sometimes- I feel completely and utterly harassed.i know a few other parents feel the same but nobody is brave enough to speak up or go against the status quo. There will now be incessant messaging for the entire weekend due an event taking place tomorrow (as there is most weekends). Should I be that person?

Babe just mute the group! Jesus

Maisey1991 · 19/07/2026 17:05

Just stay out of the chat or keep it on silence 😂

GingerDoris · 19/07/2026 16:34

I just have my phone on silent or mute the group chat. I couldn't give a shit what time people message me or any groups. I have friends in different countries in my besties chat group so it can go off at all sorts of time. If I'm interested I will open it, otherwise I would just ignore it until I needed to check anything. I don't think it is anything to do with the school. I would just mute it, and move on.

Didimum · 19/07/2026 12:55

I think YABU to care about it this much. No one can police an out of school WhatsApp group, even if the majority of members would agree if you on the subject of conduct. It certainly isn’t for the school to become involved in. All you can do is brush it off and mute the chat – or leave it.

RocketLollyPolly · 19/07/2026 12:39

So you want the useful bits of the chat, just at times that suit you?

Also, just checking you realise that people on the PTFA are trying to raise money to improve the school for all pupils, including yours?

DrumsPleaseFab · 19/07/2026 12:30

It is not their fault that you do not know how to use the settings on your phone

i never wake up from late or early WhatsApp messages as I archive or silence 🤫

bigbluefish · 19/07/2026 12:23

Nope. Parent WhatsApp groups are annoying. That’s life. Mute it.

MsFogi · 19/07/2026 12:08

No you need to sort the settings on your phone so it doesn't ping every time you get a message/mute that chat and so that your phone is on silent apart from some key contacts between x time at night and y time in the morning.

ffsmyheadhurts · 19/07/2026 12:06

Of course YABU. Mute the chat. Why can you not cope with seeing some notifications?