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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to suggest my husband takes the box room when we move?

192 replies

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 09:25

Aibu to give the smallest bedroom to my husband? We’re moving house. It’s for 2 years. My husband and I have separate bedrooms because of his snoring. The new house has 3 double rooms and one box room. Our two children really want a double room each and to be far they’re 18 and 17 and will be hanging out in their bedrooms the majority of time. My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom. It seems obvious to me that he should get the box room but he won’t hear of it. I instigated the move so he’s not thrilled in general.

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 18/07/2026 10:35

ThatLilacTiger · 18/07/2026 10:31

All bedrooms in the UK are required to have a window.

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She said they're not in the UK.

I agree with PP that it's probably likely he'll start sleeping in the office in the old house. Going back and forth between houses every day sounds like a pain.

DierdreDaphne · 18/07/2026 10:33

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:20

Yes I’m thinking of this

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Than you get two rooms! What's not to like? I'd love having my own little man free boudoir - and he has to keep the main bedroom tidy too because it's also an office! Perfect!

ThatLilacTiger · 18/07/2026 10:31

PurpleThistle7 · 18/07/2026 09:29

Does the box room have a window? If not it’s hugely unreasonable to use for sleeping regularly.

All bedrooms in the UK are required to have a window.

ACR7 · 18/07/2026 10:28

I’m a snorer at times and I really have tried all sorts. We only have 1 child so on the occasions we sleep separately we both have a nice double room. It being my issue wouldn’t change the fact that I contribute to paying for the house and wouldn’t be relegated to a box room especially if it was every night. Unfortunately your adult children need to have it or you and your husband take turns. I would probably choose to take turns

Ilovemyfam · 18/07/2026 10:24

dancingdeidre · 18/07/2026 09:35

If it's just for sleeping, you can have the box room. You can still work in the bedroom.

This. So you still share the double room but when snoring is unbearable you move to the spare room. That is how I have worked it out.

senua · 18/07/2026 10:23

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:16

Yes that’s the plan. Renting rooms in the old house. Right now the rent is coming out of my pocket though. I’m not sure what you’re getting at?

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It sounds as if the rental has already gone through and it's a done deal. If DH is going to retain a work space at the old house I predict that it's only a matter of time before he starts sleeping there, too.

Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:20

Slightyamusedandsilly · 18/07/2026 10:19

Share the double bedroom, including your working area, and then you sleep in the box room.

Yes I’m thinking of this

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:19

PurpleThistle7 · 18/07/2026 10:18

Sorry for the confusion - maybe just a different phrase. When we were flat hunting in Edinburgh, the box rooms didn’t have windows - as otherwise they’d just be small bedrooms. My son’s bedroom is a small single room - couldn’t get a double in there - but it has a window so it’s a bedroom not a box room.

Anyway I think the setup is very confusing but having a shared bedroom and a bed in the box room for whoever needs it whenever is the way forward.

The box room has a window.
yes I think me and dh should share the largest room and share the box room

OP posts:
Slightyamusedandsilly · 18/07/2026 10:19

Share the double bedroom, including your working area, and then you sleep in the box room.

Lumpycat · 18/07/2026 10:19

Wouldn’t have worked for mine as he is so much bigger and needed a bigger bed. We had the same thing. I moved into the single room in a single bed and all the stuff and the big bed stayed in ‘our’ room. That should work. You’d have sanctuary and peace and your own escape from your work area.
I totally agree on teenagers needing the space most as they live in their rooms. Plus having friends over.

Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:18

senua · 18/07/2026 10:10

It’s just for 2 years as it suits the kids schooling
If all this is for their benefit (I see no benefit to the DH) then one of them can have the box room!

It’s mostly for my benefit. I really hate the old location. Then the kids are also thrilled with the new set up. My dh likes the new location but not really into moving. I’m considering moving to a new new house because of the bedroom problem

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 18/07/2026 10:18

Sorry for the confusion - maybe just a different phrase. When we were flat hunting in Edinburgh, the box rooms didn’t have windows - as otherwise they’d just be small bedrooms. My son’s bedroom is a small single room - couldn’t get a double in there - but it has a window so it’s a bedroom not a box room.

Anyway I think the setup is very confusing but having a shared bedroom and a bed in the box room for whoever needs it whenever is the way forward.

sittingonabeach · 18/07/2026 10:16

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:15

What’s the dodgy territory? I don’t understand.

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This coming from issue of catchment areas

Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:16

McSpoot · 18/07/2026 10:12

You said it was being paid by renting out your other house?

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Yes that’s the plan. Renting rooms in the old house. Right now the rent is coming out of my pocket though. I’m not sure what you’re getting at?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:15

Itsthewoluff · 18/07/2026 10:14

If they are effectively lodgers then they won’t have any rights, but to do this they’ll have to have one officially still living at the old house and one at the new house. Dodgy territory though if found out.

What’s the dodgy territory? I don’t understand.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:14

My kids hated their old school and love their new school. They attended the new school for a year last year and want to stay but the travelling isn’t feasible. There is none of the school catchment issue in my country so that’s irrelevant. The new school is near the new house and the old school is near the old house. They’ll be finished school in 2 years and this seems like a nice length of time to assess things

OP posts:
Itsthewoluff · 18/07/2026 10:14

Oh not uk

Itsthewoluff · 18/07/2026 10:14

If they are effectively lodgers then they won’t have any rights, but to do this they’ll have to have one officially still living at the old house and one at the new house. Dodgy territory though if found out.

McSpoot · 18/07/2026 10:12

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:10

No I’m not “renting for school catchments” we’re not in the UK so thankfully that doesn’t apply here @ConfusedSoShutUp .

I am paying for this, not my dh @olympicsrock

You said it was being paid by renting out your other house?

Original poster
Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:10

No I’m not “renting for school catchments” we’re not in the UK so thankfully that doesn’t apply here @ConfusedSoShutUp .

I am paying for this, not my dh @olympicsrock

OP posts:
notacooldad · 18/07/2026 10:10

Why does it help schooling?
Go on have a guess!!

senua · 18/07/2026 10:10

It’s just for 2 years as it suits the kids schooling
If all this is for their benefit (I see no benefit to the DH) then one of them can have the box room!

ConfusedSoShutUp · 18/07/2026 10:07

Renting for school catchments?

fuckeditupbadly · 18/07/2026 10:06

I think its perfectly reasonable to allocate space as it makes most sense. My dp has the smaller room at his house because all he does in it is sleep and dress. His adult son has the bigger room because he chooses not to hang out downstairs and it's essentially a bedsit with shared bathroom and kitchen. Its not about who is the adult or who pays the bills. I offered my dd my room as she's now also at the 'hanging out upstairs' stage but she declined. She's now not allowed to moan about having no space though.

senua · 18/07/2026 10:04

We’re renting rooms out in the old house
You do know that you can't evict tenants at will any more, don't you?

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