Page 5 | AIBU to suggest my husband takes the box room when we move?

Bedroomdilemmas · 2026-07-18T08:25:45+00:00

Aibu to give the smallest bedroom to my husband? We’re moving house. It’s for 2 years. My husband and I have separate bedrooms because of his snoring. The new house has 3 double rooms and one box room. Our two children really want a double room each and to be far they’re 18 and 17 and will be hanging out in their bedrooms the majority of time. My husband literally only sleeps in his bedroom, while I spend loads of time working in my bedroom. It seems obvious to me that he should get the box room but he won’t hear of it. I instigated the move so he’s not thrilled in general.

CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard · 18/07/2026 11:04

olympicsrock · 18/07/2026 09:30

No , your husband is an adult paying for the house. Why should he have the box room?

Fine if he is happy with that but he may want storage space for his stuff too. The DC will move out soon and can have more space then .

Wow! He’s not paying for it though is he? But interesting that you jumped straight to this conclusion!! 🤯

Also…he’s the one who’s keeping the OP awake at night due to his snoring…which it seems that he’s not taking any steps to sort out! In any world, the one causing the discomfort should be the one to fix it…so he’s the one who needs to sleep in the spare room until he does! 🤷‍♀️

senua · 18/07/2026 11:04

Reallyneedsaholiday · 18/07/2026 10:54

So your DH doesn't want to move, now has to commute back to the old house for work, AND you want him to have the box room? Wow! Your poor DH.

I think he will end up loving it. If he chooses his tenants wisely he'll end up in a fun-filled frat house. He only needs to pop to the new rental every now and then to show his face, have a family meal and to get his laundry done.

shhblackbag · 18/07/2026 11:01

Delphiniumandlupins · 18/07/2026 10:53

Lots of people commute to work. Every day.

Show quote history

Not exactly the same, is it?

shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 18/07/2026 10:59

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 10:53

Someone has to be!

Show quote history

Sure, but maybe not one of the parents who works full-time!

CloudyWithAChanceOfCustard · 18/07/2026 10:58

dancingdeidre · 18/07/2026 09:35

If it's just for sleeping, you can have the box room. You can still work in the bedroom.

But she’s not the one with the snoring issue…the husband is. And it seems he’s doing nothing to sort it out!

Original poster

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:55

Petrolitis · 18/07/2026 10:42

You need to address your internalised misogyny. At no point in the OP was it said that the snoring husband either worked or paid for this move.

We live in a world where plenty of women work and yet you jumped straight to the idea that he was funding this.

Anyway OP, if youre reading this of course your husband should have the box room. Firstly he is the one causing the issue with his snoring and secondly he only uses a room for sleeping so needs the least functionality out of it. It is just logic. But no doubt, like most men he will be socialised to always put himself first, even where his offspring are concerned.

Show quote history

I agree- he snores and he won’t use the room during the day so logic tells me he should use it. It just seems to be symbolically wrong?

OP posts:

DilemmaDelilah · 18/07/2026 10:54

I decided to move into a separate bedroom as I found I sleep much better that way and, on the nights when I'm not sleeping well, I can do my own thing without disturbing DH. Because it was my decision and DH wasn't keen, I moved into the smaller bedroom and he has the larger bedroom with the en suite. However, I have said to him that if we ever move (a lottery or Omaze win would be necessary) it is my turn for the nicer room.

Reallyneedsaholiday · 18/07/2026 10:54

So your DH doesn't want to move, now has to commute back to the old house for work, AND you want him to have the box room? Wow! Your poor DH.

Nopuedeser · 18/07/2026 10:53

Wishimaywishimight · 18/07/2026 09:30

I wouldn't appreciate being 'relegated' to the box room tbh.

Someone has to be!

Delphiniumandlupins · 18/07/2026 10:53

shhblackbag · 18/07/2026 10:35

She said they're not in the UK.

I agree with PP that it's probably likely he'll start sleeping in the office in the old house. Going back and forth between houses every day sounds like a pain.

Show quote history

Lots of people commute to work. Every day.

Catwalking · 18/07/2026 10:52

I have whichever room is coolest/warmest (depending on obvious of course 😊).

Anothernameretired · 18/07/2026 10:47

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 18/07/2026 10:42

It would be healthier for you to work in a different room to where you sleep. I'd be seizing the opportunity to have a desk in the big bedroom and a gorgeous sleep sanctuary for myself in the box room.

I'd do this as well. Keep everything in the bedroom but sleep in the box room.

But DH would have to be up and out when I needed to work.

shhblackbag · 18/07/2026 10:46

SockPlant · 18/07/2026 10:39

so it suits everyone but him? If i were in his shoes i'd bin off the relationship. You don't care about him at all.

Show quote history

I'd definitely reconsider my place in the family, agree.

PeopleWatching17 · 18/07/2026 10:43

TheCurious0range · 18/07/2026 09:44

People saying sort his snoring out what do you expect him to do? My husband snores, he has tried every strip, spray, mouth guard, special pillow, mouth tape, tennis Ball in the back pocket solution, he has had sleep studies - no apnea. He was diagnosed as a common snorer. He's fit, healthy, not overweight, doesn't drink other than rare occasion like at a wedding or something. There is literally nothing else he can do. The doctor said it's just the way his body is built. Now I get the impact I live with it, but there are comments that make it seem like snoring is something simply fixed with a bit of effort. It isn't.

As for the room it depends OP, I tend to decamp to our spare room when the snoring gets too much for me, but it's not my room, the main bedroom has all of my things in and it's mainly where I start the night unless I know I have to get up particularly early, if DH is out and coming home late he'll go in there so as not to wake me. Maybe the solution is the box room is the spare and whoever needs to moves there on the nights it's necessary. Also one tried every earplugs going and I've found pixel buds 2a with some kind of white noise playing are the best thing to block it out

You sound ridiculously sensible 🙂

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 18/07/2026 10:42

It would be healthier for you to work in a different room to where you sleep. I'd be seizing the opportunity to have a desk in the big bedroom and a gorgeous sleep sanctuary for myself in the box room.

Petrolitis · 18/07/2026 10:42

olympicsrock · 18/07/2026 09:30

No , your husband is an adult paying for the house. Why should he have the box room?

Fine if he is happy with that but he may want storage space for his stuff too. The DC will move out soon and can have more space then .

You need to address your internalised misogyny. At no point in the OP was it said that the snoring husband either worked or paid for this move.

We live in a world where plenty of women work and yet you jumped straight to the idea that he was funding this.

Anyway OP, if youre reading this of course your husband should have the box room. Firstly he is the one causing the issue with his snoring and secondly he only uses a room for sleeping so needs the least functionality out of it. It is just logic. But no doubt, like most men he will be socialised to always put himself first, even where his offspring are concerned.

LightningTree · 18/07/2026 10:40

What are the current sleeping arrangements?

Dollymylove · 18/07/2026 10:40

Whoever pays the mortgage gets to choose. My guess it isnt the kids 😉

NoAprilFool · 18/07/2026 10:39

ThatLilacTiger · 18/07/2026 10:31

All bedrooms in the UK are required to have a window.

Show quote history

But it’s not a bedroom, it’s a box room which is being used as a bedroom.
we have a box room which- no window - which DH uses as a study. Our neighbours with same layout use it as a bed room. You couldn’t market it as a bedroom if selling it.

SockPlant · 18/07/2026 10:39

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 09:51

We’re renting this new house. I’m paying the rent. We own our old house and he can keep a room in our old house for work purposes. It’s just for two years as this suits our children’s schooling and it suits me because I hate the old location.

so it suits everyone but him? If i were in his shoes i'd bin off the relationship. You don't care about him at all.

SockPlant · 18/07/2026 10:37

meh. If i was paying at least an equal share of a house - there is no way i would accept the box room.

Not in a billion years.

But then it has always astonished me why houses have stupidly sized bedrooms anyway. Ours (as do several of my friends and colleagues, we have all been talking about this recently) has one bigger room and 2 equally sized rooms for offspring or whatever. Only "starter homes" need stupidly sized bedrooms.

SqueakyFromme · 18/07/2026 10:37

Poor chap

PurpleThistle7 · 18/07/2026 10:37

ThatLilacTiger · 18/07/2026 10:31

All bedrooms in the UK are required to have a window.

Show quote history

Correct. But in Scotland (or maybe just Edinburgh?) a small bedroom would be a single bedroom. A ‘box room’ is a room that’s bigger than a closet but not a legal bedroom as there’s no window. Loads of them in tenement flats - we used ours as a walk in wardrobe but plenty of students use them as bedrooms (illegally). So I was picturing that sort of thing.

Ljzjta · 18/07/2026 10:36

Cafog · 18/07/2026 09:28

I would probably have the double bedroom as "our" bedroom, and take it in turns to sleep in the box room depending on your work schedule. Then it's noones "room" as such, just a room that one of you sleep in.

Agree!

NotMajorTom · 18/07/2026 10:36

Bedroomdilemmas · 18/07/2026 10:10

No I’m not “renting for school catchments” we’re not in the UK so thankfully that doesn’t apply here @ConfusedSoShutUp .

I am paying for this, not my dh @olympicsrock

Isn’t all money family money on mumsnet.

so you’re both paying