To feel inadequate seeing naked women in movies?

Yup. That’s why I said she should be concerned, not glorifying it, if the man doesn’t have a fat fetish then there is something very wrong with him if he’s not deeply worried about her weight.

Yes indeed.

So he wouldn’t be adoring the person
He would be adoring the fat, spectating them “gorging” themselves and revelling in fact that the are basically imprisoned on the sofa

God I hope not, DP would murder me if she found out I'd said she was chubby!

There are men who have sexual fetishes for larger women.

You are seriously saying that someone who can’t work; can barely leave the house in fact can “hardly move” and spends her life “gorging” on junk…. Is very happy and loves her curves? And her DH is not slightest bit bothered?

Because I was accused of not knowing she was happy

I agree but it is what it is. When I tried speaking to her she sees no issue 🤷. Can’t force her to loose weight. She told me she loves her curves 🤷

The point however is she is happy - can’t work it out myself but not my circus! The relevance to this post is even at a massive size you can be in a relationship - not a critique of whether she should lose weight - I think that’s pretty obvious to everyone but her

I agree but it is what it is. When I tried speaking to her she sees no issue 🤷. Can’t force her to loose weight. She told me she loves her curves 🤷

The point however is she is happy - can’t work it out myself but not my circus! The relevance to this post is even at a massive size you can be in a relationship - not a critique of whether she should lose weight - I think that’s pretty obvious to everyone but her

Exactly

My friend was the same, her child is now a grown up with a bmi of well over 65 as she gorges on sweets and junk food now she’s an adult. She’s too big to work, can hardly move without sweating, is teetering on the edge of needing oxygen as she is breathless even at rest

and you say she is proud of her curves and very happy? With a partner who adores her and doesn’t care about her being so dangerously overweight? @Biggles27

My daughter’s friend has a bmi over 60, is very short (well under 5 foot). She’s happily living with a great guy, they are very happy and he’s around 6foot. I’d say he’s good looking and a super nice guy

a decent man (emphasis on decent) doesn’t judge purely on looks. Her value as a woman is in no way diminished by the way she looks! She does no self care, cuts her own hair, has never set foot in a beauty salon or nail bar so she’s not perfectly groomed either! She’s still loved and cherished by a man who adores her. You need to reevaluate your self worth, you do not need to look a certain way to be with a decent person! If they are only with you as you look a certain way - I’d run a mile

Why do you keep repeatedly posting about how close you are.

the bottom line is a bmi of 60 should have you deeply concerned if you cared bout her and deeply concerned about rhe relationship she’s in.

instead you’re on here glorifying and unwell woman like it’s some love story of the century,

Mis typed - I’m dyslexic. It’s my friends daughter although she is my daughters oldest friend as they’ve known each other since birth

No my best friend of over 50 year’s daughter who is like my second daughter. We are closer than family. He has confided in me as she talks to me about stuff she doesn’t want to talk to her mother about! He knows that so I knew he was going to propose before his future mil did (she’d have self combusted with excitement & let the cat out the bag). I was tasked with finding out her ring size / close enough for you? Maybe I do know!

No my best friend of over 50 year’s daughter who is like my second daughter. We are closer than family. He has confided in me as she talks to me about stuff she doesn’t want to talk to her mother about! He knows that so I knew he was going to propose before his future mil did (she’d have self combusted with excitement & let the cat out the bag). I was tasked with finding out her ring size / close enough for you? Maybe I do know!

I suppose it’s because it reaffirms my belief that my body is ugly. The comparison to athletes at the olympics isn’t quite accurate- running is a specific skill that isn’t essential. Whereas my attractiveness is about my value as a woman and whether I deserve to be loved.

How do you know? The mother of a friend of the woman.

Are you my husband? 🤣🤣

Incredible isn’t it. A BMI of more than 60 and “very happy” “proud of her curves” with a partner who doesn’t care and “adores her”

but this woman gets out of breath walking short distances and will likely be largely housebound.

Sorry, but you've got absolutely no idea how men think.

Men don't just fancy "perfect" Hollywood women. We fancy the bodies of the women we fancy.

I'll use myself as an example.

As a teen, I had an absolutely massive crush on Willow from Buffy. As a result, for a good few years I had a massive thing for redheads and nerdy girls. If I walked into a room full of women, the first one I'd notice would be the nerdy ginger girl sat in the corner.

I watched American Pie at that same formative age, and I never really fancied Nadia. Yes, I could appreciate she was beautiful and attractive, but I didn't fancy her. For what it's worth, I didn't particularly fancy Alyson Hannigan in that film either, or anything else she's done since. It was the character I was attracted to, not the actress. I had developed a thing for redheads because of a fictional characters personality.

And so it goes on. I have a thing for Roman noses because of a girl I was in love with at university. I find tiny boobs incredibly sexy because of a woman I had a one night stand with at 22.

And at age 42, if I walk into a room full of women, the first one my eye is going to be drawn to is the short blonde chubby one. Why? Because 18 years ago I met a short blonde chubby woman and absolutely fell in love, so now apparently that's my type. Don't get me wrong, the redhead thing is still in there, as is the Roman nose thing and everything else, but it's been massively superseded by short blonde and chubby.

In the unlikely event that DP and I should ever split up, then chances are Ill end up with another short blonde chubby woman. Except I won't, because that's not how it works. I'll end up with a woman who I fancy because of who she is, instead of what her body looks like, and my physical "type" will shift once again.

This post is already a mile long, but I thought of an analogy. Nadia from American Pie is an Ed Sheeran song. (Given the subject of the thread, let's go with "Shape of You") I can appreciate an Ed Sheeran song. It is well crafted, the lyrics are clever, he can sing, the instruments are played well. I can see that it's a good song. But it's never going to make me feel anything. Because it's a very surface level song. It's never going to make anyone cry. There are a million "worse" songs out there that have made me feel infinitely more than shape of You ever will.

Nadia from American Pie is the same. She's a cypher. She's not a person, she's barely a character. She doesn't have hopes and dreams, or a character arc. Her purpose in the film is eye candy, and to cause hijinks for the main character. No teenage boy ever fell in love with her the way I fell in love with Willow. There's nothing there to fall in love with.

What on earth are you posting, she will have very signficant health issues, her skeleton collapsing, her internal organs struggling, at high risk of an event like heart attack or stroke, and quite frankly you know full well that if she’s that big he’s some form of sexual thing for morbidly obese women. This isn’t just curves, how on earth can you write that, no one should be celebrating someone so unhealthy, the lady needs help.

Whenever I see naked women in movies they always have amazing bodies and I massively spiral afterwards comparing my old, very flat chested body to theirs. Today I watched some of American Pie and when it got to the bit where ‘Nadia’ strips off and they’re watching her masturbate, I really felt awful about myself. Was very painful to feel so inadequate and know that i don’t have the body that she has so I will never have men desire me like that. I know it’s a fictional character obviously but the actress and her body do represent the ideal that I can’t match up to. How do others stop themselves feeling this?