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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider another baby while still renting in our thirties?

86 replies

Singalonng · 17/07/2026 15:06

I have a 13 year old and 10 year old. We are currently renting at a reduced rate through family. I am 37 years old.

I desperately would like to try for another baby. I have wanted to for years, but various life events have prevented it sooner. My husband is keen but also hesitant. The reason for this is that we don’t own a home. We have £25000 in savings, which we have saved up over the last few years. I have been working for 1 year in a career role that has progression opportunities. My husband earns about £50k, but we live in a very expensive part of the country.

I know the age gap is big, but would we be crazy to have another?

YABU - don’t do it
YANBU - go for it

OP posts:
graceinc22 · 17/07/2026 18:19

I would in your position. At 37, if you want a baby, you should prioritise that and sort buying a house later. The amount of savings you have suggests that you’re financially stable and will be providing a home for all your children, even if renting.

mumsnet is always very against having more children unless you are asking about a second child with an ‘appropriate’ age gap. So the negative responses are entirely expected. Your family your choice. Ps I would have loved another younger sibling when I was that age! X

Meadowfinch · 17/07/2026 18:14

Given the state of the housing and employment markets, I'd focus on getting on the housing ladder and getting 2 years employment to your name, with any training that gives you access to.

You will be 39 and maybe a grade or two more senior. You could try for a third one then.

Original poster
Singalonng · 17/07/2026 18:09

Wow - not even one comment thinking it’s a good idea. I didn’t expect such a clean sweep.

OP posts:
shoesandshipsandsealingwax · 17/07/2026 17:48

It's not fair on your teenager to have to deal with a screaming newborn while they're doing their exams.

2026newname · 17/07/2026 17:42

New baby is not fair on existing children with that gap.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 17/07/2026 17:15

Renting isn’t a problem. Having a baby would obviously use some of your savings. The timing for your older kids would be a bit rubbish tho, they will need you a lot over the next few years and it’s not the same if they’re second to a baby/toddler. I don’t think there’s a wrong choice but I’d deff consider all aspects of it before deciding

minipie · 17/07/2026 17:12

I have kids the same age as yours and would not have a baby for so many reasons. Even though we are financially fully secure.

Have you considered a puppy? I know that sounds flippant but it’s a serious suggestion.

Larrythecatforpm · 17/07/2026 17:10

The age gap is to big, it’s going to disturpt your older two to much especially with the eldest coming up to exam years.

Henriettina · 17/07/2026 17:05

I don’t think renting is an issue, if you’re financially sound and the tenancy is secure.

Personally, I wouldn’t have such a big age gap. But I’m not you!

socks1107 · 17/07/2026 15:49

For me it’s not so much the renting but the teenager being crucial exam years and having a toddler and all the disruption that brings. I was newly married with children your age and we decided to have none together, best decision we made. Our older children remained the focus and we could age appropriate things all the time. We have amazing young adult children and in my mid forties I’ve a whole new life and am living it to the full. I can’t imagine what that would like with a ten year old about now. Big decision but really only one you can make as everyone’s reasons and situations are different

Ella31 · 17/07/2026 15:44

You aren't going to get balanced answers here. There's a TTC forum on mumsnet which will be far more focused.