AIBU to think RSE lessons should be separated by sex not gender identity?

Many children believe in Father Christmas. When their mum is pregnant, or when their sibling is born, many little boys believe that they will be able to grow a baby in their tummy when they are grown up.

I wonder why these two beliefs are not responded to in the same way?

I wonder why you think that a child ‘believing’ that they are the opposite sex, or that their body is the wrong sex, should be treated in the same way as a belief in Father Christmas, and not in the same way as a boy believing that his body can give birth to a baby.

Children believe all kinds of things. As a parent, a key part of your job is to help them navigate fact from fiction, right from wrong.

You don’t need to ignore or refuse to address a child’s concerns to also be black and white that their are only two sexes and you can’t change.

a part of parenting is helping your child understand the framework of life / science / reality, and the options within it - so just as you might teach a child that gravity is a thing so jumping off a cliff or out of their bedroom window will hurt, so you teach them the basics of science / biology around sex that they were born a boy or girl and will always be that - teaching fact is not confrontational…

then you teach them the options that exist - so for the child who wants to jump out of their bedroom window window you might introduce them to gymnastics / parkour ninja / trampolining etc; for the child who mistakenly thinks they are the other sex you explore what they mean and find option - any girl can do science / climb trees dig holes etc or any boy can play with dolls, is allowed to cry or be sensitive can put nail varnish on…

that is parenting

But many children believe this, which is the point I was making. The issue is how parents should respond to this. Outright refusal to respect their child's concerns is never going to end well for any of the parties involved.

And actually, there have been rather too many mistakes over a child's sex at birth, but that's not what I'm talking about.

Have you assumed that boys can only learn about menstruation with girls present?

Girls and boys find it easier to discuss and ask embarrassing questions in a single sex group. Why on earth would you want that to be made more difficult?

Why on earth would a school allow boys to 'self select' into a lesson about girls' puberty, while missing one about their own puberty?

Did you think that through for even two seconds before posting?

Teaching about periods can be normalised for the boys. They don’t need girls present in order to so though.

It’s not like they need girls to give a live demonstration in the classroom

The supreme court judgment came into effect the moment it was announced

The EHRC guidance is official from 5 August

Have you assumed that boys don’t get told about how girls bodies work (and vice versa)?

They are separated because it is far harder to discuss these things as a teenager with the opposite sex present. I don’t know why you would want it to be herder for them?

Oh dear, you are completely wrong about that!

The SC judgement clarified, in April 2025, what the Equality Act 2010 always had been.

The Code of Practice, which helps explain the law, comes into force on 5 August.

The Supreme Court judgement doesn't come into effect until 5th August, so the school isn't on "shaky ground" at all, as certain posters suggest. For people who have spent the last 15 months talking about this, I'd have thought gender critical people would be aware of details such as this.

Also we don't know, maybe it wasn't a single sex space, but a self-selecting space.

But its not just about teaching the biological facts. RSE is not purely biology. Its around the feelings and emotions around puberty and anyone who cant see that there is a need for single sex spaces, hasn't been a teacher of adolescents. For the third or fourth time on this thread I will say again...both joint AND separate lessons are needed. If it's the parents job to answer tricky questions that might be uncomfortable in mixed sex groups then no PSHE /RSE should be taught in schools at all.

@JellySaurus is correct @OwlBeThere

The default is that boys and girls must be taught together, otherwise schools risk sex discrimination (see days of old where girls did needlework and boys did woodwork).

If a school has judged that single sex provision is a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim then they must not then allow a child of the opposite sex into the lesson.

The issue of whether there is a legitimate aim here - ie whether boys and girls should or should not be separated for RSE - is not really the point of this thread.

The point of the is thread is that a boy has been allowed into a girl’s single sex provision.

There is relevant law: the Equality Act 2010. Itsays that sex discrimination is permitted if it is a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate objective. The objective in this case being enabling children to access education. Or do you think that it is not legitimate to enable girls to ask sensitive questions about their development away from the presence of boys, or for boys to have that same opportunity?

I’m not advocating for that. I’m advocating for everyone to be in all the classes for all information.

PSE classes are not single sex provision, so there is no law that is relevent to this.

No child is 'not the sex they were born'.

I do think that both boys and girls need to be taught about eachothers bodies as well as their own. And maybe at some point they could have joint lessons but surely you know that in any random selection of 30 eight-year-old boys such as will be found in every primary school year 4, there are going to be at least 5 of them, quite possibly a lot more, whose presence would be torture for a shy young girl learning about her own body for the first time. You have met some eight-year-old boys haven't you? Some of them are lovely but some of them really aren't and you cannot make policy on the assumption that every child in the school is lovely.

Ah, a drip-fed story change. How convenient.

Yes, as it happens I do know and have worked with several trans-identifying individuals of various degrees of transition. The most physically modified TIW all give themselves away in exactly the same way as the TIM: by their movement.

I recall one bearded colleague who I thought was a young man with an endocrine disorder. Slight, boyish frame, voice broken but not deep, quiet manner. But I only ever saw this person sitting down. The moment I saw this person walking it was immediately obvious that this was a woman with a self-inflicted endocrine disorder.

Schools can work with parents to support children who wish to socially transition. Which clearly has happened in this case.

Please stop quoting a piece of draft legislation that went out for consultation and no further. The correct guidance can be found in KCSIE, not a draft document written 2.5 years ago.

Trans man. He was rather hot, actually. Slightly androgynous, like some men are, a bit taller than me - about 5' 8'' perhaps. Nice voice.

Do you know any trans men? Those who have had the operation and hormone treatment are not easily distinguished from 'male from birth' men. It's harder for trans women. Post-puberty male characteristics are harder to change.

Saying 'no' to a child who is determined at whatever stage they are not the sex they were born is only going to confirm them in their view and make them deeply unhappy. Many kids who believe they are trans in their childhood and teens change their minds as they get older (which is one of the reasons why puberty blockers are a bad idea) but if a child grows up and retains their beleif they are trans, what does the parent who said, 'No,' do? The relationship between parent and child will be horrendously damaged.

The child's parents will follow up. As any parent should after this kind of lesson.

You are being unreasonable not to question WHY the school are segregsting sexes at all. Such lessons should be to mixed groups, about both sexes, with a tough no-nonsense teacher (preferably a qualified biology teacher) who will squash any stupidity from the children. It is horrific how little many people seem to know about how their own and other human bodies work.

I would challenge the school. I absolutely disagree with children being separated!

Do these boys not have mothers and sisters and in time possibly girlfriends and wives?! Surely they need to understand menstruation!

Yet this is not recommended by the DfE, OFSTED, KCSIE, the PSHE Association, Brook, or any other agency.
Schools should teach the facts, parents should be the ones holding discussion if children still have questions on this subject.