Boyfriend.. entitlement behaviours.

Some peoples relationships are tragic. Imagine being annoyed and starting a forum about your partner using some meds, an apple and teabags when they are staying with you 🤣

@AgnesMcDoo Ah just got you meant weird and tight. You don't think it's tight of him to stuff handfuls of teabags in his pocket to take home?

I had one of these once. Long time ago before I began reading mumsnet and before I'd heard of the term cocklodger and saw sense. Could have saved me had I known it was a thing.

Mine sponged off me for years, treating my home like a fully stocked shop. Ironically would turn up empty handed, save for his own snacks. If I ever popped to the shop he always wanted 'whatever I was having too'.

Opened cupboards, ate snacks used toiletries, made himself very much at home. After years of eating countless meals at mine I snapped and said he'd be making me dinner for once. Turned up empty handed and started going through my cupboards for ingredients. I kid you not. Sent him to the shop to spend his own money and the complaints about cost of ingredients when he was back was almost hilarious.

Good luck!

I'm annoyed just reading this.

What sort of an adult would go to somebody's house and help themselves to tea bags? Or go through the first aid box in the first place (unless an actual emergency)? Would you eat a piece of fruit every time you visited a friend without being offered one?

No, because none of those things are normal behaviour.

I get pissed off when DP eats the kids apples, he is their father and contributes to buying them. But ai bought them for the lunches and I organise them so it pisses me off that the correct supply is gone.
I think so would start saying no, no you can’t eat those they are for the kids lunches. No you can’t use the ointment or my products as you didn’t replace the last lot. So no, stop taking my shit or fuck off, might be the language I use in this instance.

I’d forget the test. He’s already proven that he’s one of life’s takers. Consider the cost of replacing the stuff he took as the price of freedom from having to think about this any more, buy it yourself (if he buys it you’ll always be reminded when you use it!) and tell him he’s given you the ick by being so entitled and self centred.

Why are you putting up with this? This would be another man leaving my house on the toe of my boots.
Does he bring anything to your house or does he just take your food and drink?

If you didn’t do the courses with women’s aid then YES you will have picked up another abusers as that’s what we do until we do these courses and learn from them!!

Is it on Amazon or Boots... def send him the link and ask him to order it on line.. If it was something like sun cream (which I am really particular about) used up nearly my whole supply. I'd be peed off too.

Add that to stuffing his pocket with tea bags... that's incredably wierd and it feels like he thinks of your place as his parents house... a storehouse of useful things he can't be bothered or hasn't got round to buying but which is there as the prince of the house, for him to help himself to.

I think he's showing a bit of unconscious entitlement... what's yours is mine, thinking - only you know how far reaching that could be but I think a pp said if someone displays that behaviour in one area, its probably lurking in others.

The tea bag stealing would give me the absolute ick. How tight! It's not a hotel when you can sneak out goodies from the room..I'm cringing and would let this one go..

Ong he’s off the scale as a cocklodger!!! This is on a new level of theft!!!😳😳😳😳 get the £ off him to replace EVERYTHING he’s stolen off you! It is that! STEALING!!!! Don’t let him in your house again!

Tell him he's taking the pss and he either packs it in or fucks off.

Dump him (by text)

I agree with what everyone else has said. It's disrespectful behaviour and he doesn't care. If he did he would've replaced things by now.

Let me guess though.... Original yellow metanium? Easier to get precious metals than that stuff now.

The boyfriend's arrived!

He’s a thief and will get worse

Yes this would annoy me. I’d say no, no, no

I kind of get where you are coming from especially on the expensive ointment but you are in a relationship. you are basically saying when he visits/stays over you want him to act like either a guest or one of your children. Surely at this point it should be a case of being comfortable. That doesn’t take away the fact it should be more give & take and not just take.

Think this relationship is not right

‘Oi, stop taking my stuff, this has got to stop!’

I would get the tube of magic cream back from him through badgering-every conversation and text, ‘have you ordered it yet?’ and then dump him. He is not respecting you, your home, your kids or your boundaries.

It seems like he’s treating your house as a place he can just go shopping in.

My kids sometimes did that when they were skint students at university, but I was ok with that as they were my kids!

In the nicest possible way op, your boundaries are waaay off. Your instincts are solid, you know this is not ok, but for some reason you’re talking yourself out of what your gut is telling you.

Who we form a relationship with is the most significant (and potentially disastrous) financial decision we will ever make.

Take some time to work out why you’re self sabotaging.

Dear OP
Respect your own feelings.
You don't need to analyse whether you're being OTT or reasonable.

You don't like his behaviour.
That's enough.
Bin him off.
How has he no shame to be depriving children of their sustenance???
Don't have him in the house again.
Onwards and upwards.

Just a matter of time before the "ick" sets in.

Why do you assume you’re being dramatic? He’s helping himself to your things!

He’s far too comfortable, isn’t he? And also pretty selfish. He may just not be aware of the need to ask because he thinks you’d give him the stuff anyway and may will be mortified if you tell him how it comes across. Here’s hoping.

In your situation, I’d say, “Look - you do need to ask before just taking things. You have to think about other people - not just about what you want for yourself. You’ve left the children without items for their lunches and me without things in the first aid kit. I never know what I’ve run out of or when because you just keep helping yourself.”

I might even add: “We’re not in the ‘shared household’ situation where what’s ours is yours and I don’t budget for your needs too so can you replace the first aid lotion and buy some fruit?”