AIBU to feel uneasy about my partner's inheritance plan?

Although this does sound tricky, OP. I hope you both come to a compromise.

OP does say she is financially well off so this could be possible. There also may be a life insurance policy available for this purpose.

Of course he should be a father before a life partner!

Leaving OP the house would be effectively disinheriting his kids. Not a nice thing to do.

So if they own half and have agency over the property should this mean they should also pay half expenses such as council tax?

How will the children even know what needs to be done in the house anyway. Are they allowed to come in for regular inspections. No way would this be happening to me as living privately is one of the advantages of owning.

I think you're definitely thinking about things the right way OP, you'd be mad to give up your independence and your own home to then be at the mercy of other peoples demands. It could be an absolute nightmare situation and without family of your own to advocate for you and support you it could be hell. It's just too much of a risk,

Sorry OP, but by leaving everything he owns and nothing to you is showing you he does not consider you a main character in his life. He should maybe leave half to you or equal shares between you and his dcs especially considering they have already had money off him and you are leaving everything to him.

This set up is fairly normal in blended families - our wills are set up this way

If I die first my spouse can remain in the home and vice versa
I don't know why you think his children will have a day in the home. It would remain your home for your lifetime. He is just protecting his share so that after your days the inheritance of his share passes to his children.
They won't have a day in day to day running of the home. You can decorate, have people over / move in etc
I mean you couldn't bulldose or knock down retaining walls without proper structural changes the house to ruin their eventual inheritance because this would be seen as deliberate damage

It sounds very one sided. I really would think very carefully about this relationship as this man sees himself as a father before a life partner and this is not going to change. He's not wrong, but just wrong for you. He would benefit from your will, but there is absolutely nothing but stress for you from his.

If you are both financially well off could he also put in an option that you may buy the other half out after his death and pay the DC. This could even be done through an insurance policy maybe. That way everything gets settled quickly and you don't have to worry about interference from docs in future.

Will you have a mortgage? How old are you and dp? He should only really be leaving his equity in the house to his DC so if you have a mortgage he will need life insurance to make sure his half is paid off.
Then there's renovations. What if you have to update bathrooms/kitchens? Will dcs pay half or will the updates add equity to your half?
Are you planning on getting married? I'm old-fashioned and believe in joint assets completely when married or you may as well just share space.
Are you equal in other ways financially? You say he has already given out money to dcs. Has that depleted his contribution to the marriage financially in any way?
I get why he is doing this as it is quite common now, especially in senior couples but not sure it really works so great in younger or middle aged couples.

And how can that be enforced then?

Yes, because her being solely responsible will be easier if she owns it all, compared to if she owns half. The exact same cost will magically be harder one way compared to the other.

One possible option is that you pay for a life insurance policy that pays out on his death and gives you sufficient cash to buy out his kids interest. Or would allow you to sell up and purchase a new place and pay them out.

I fail to understand how a will can impose obligations on anyone unless linked to being a beneficiary. Surely his will can no more say you have to upgrade the bathroom on someone else’s say so, than your will could dictate to him to sponsor a snail at the local zoo?

I think you're justified in being worried about the matter of maintenance, changes, renovations etc, specifically.

Leaving his half to his DC is fair & avoids the risk of you disinheriting his DC.

But you need to get some good legal advice about the house maintenance, upkeep, renovations etc. I'd be starting from the principle that if his DC can "demand" things re the house, they must pay half. You could compromise by saying you would pay the full amount of all running costs eg utilities & council tax.

I hope you're seeing a solicitor. It would be a pity if an otherwise fair & amicable situation runs aground on this point about maintenance etc.

Yep. It's definitely unfair.

This is a reasonable point.

That is the norm when somebody remarries. They want to ensure half the house eventually goes to their children.

They should have to pay 50% of anything structural needed as repair /maintenance.

Why is that? She or her estate will benefit when she sells or dies as house value will have gone up?

That should have been written to say that it was only for that one house.

But people are cunts.

On those conditions, I would not be moving in together - it's a deal breaker.

If you aren’t happy that your partner would leave his assets in this case, his half of a jointly owned property, then you have a problem here

you have options

• don’t do it
• move to his house and rent yours out keeping your own security

Think how you would feel if you had children.

if you died would your half go to him and ultimately his kids?

sounds like you should be having some proper conversations around this but if you get to live in the house until you die or choose to sell it (like a Tennants in common arrangement) I can’t actually see how or why this would be a problem and if you have a big bill like a new roof if they own half they are potentially liable to chip in but all this needs documenting.