AIBU to expect DD’s Dad to contribute to school trip?

Are you still entitled to half the house proceeds if he is solely paying the mortgage and you aren’t married? As above it would be good if he would pay but obviously he doesn’t have to and it IS very expensive. Dd has a similar trip to France in 2028 and I’ve applied to the school for financial assistance as her dad hasn’t paid me a penny in the last 2 years and before that it was the same £100 but for 2 dc. It’s not true that few dc go though in our case. The trip is always full with a waitlist and disappointed dc who don’t get a space at all.

Yes you can. I know a couple who did it (the one who had moved out ) UK. TOLATA 1996

Probably had it before he left and was honest about his earnings.

He can tell her it’s too expensive, most families can’t afford it, you didn’t ask his opinion before you said she could go then tried to bill him for half, he already pays maintenance and covers the mortgage on the home you all live in, and it’s shitty of you to try and make him look the bad guy given the above reasons 🤷‍♀️

I’d force the sale, you don’t need to be married to do this.

I’d ask CMS to open an investigation into his income, it took me a year long battle but I was able to claw back £4k in arrears from my contractor ex stating minimum wage.

I think if you want him to pay half you need to start by agreeing with him which residential trips your dd is going to go on. Some parents send their children on everything, other limit the number of trips and of course some children dont go at all.

He should pay half of what he's agreed but not necessarily half of what you decide. And he should make what he agrees clear to your dd.

The trip is a rip-off and your DDs dad refusing a share gives you the perfect opportunity to say no to your daughter and you go there at another time with her.

You should not be supporting someone who evades tax as he does. A thief by another name. Contact HMRC.

Yes and most children don't attend.

Sorry I would not be saying things like that to my child even if the dad was shit. Kids don’t need to be brought into all of the financial side of things. How is her relationship with him?

Yes to this, honestly. The majority of kids don’t go on the trips, only the wealthiest.

Remember to tell her a lot of 2 parent families can't afford these ridiculous expensive trips.

I would bite the bullet and force the house sale.

Absolutely see if you can get more money from CMS.

DS rarely goes on these trips because a grand for a few days in Paris is silly. I would understand if Dad were objecting because of that. In which case, it's up to you to pay or not.

Sadly as you aren’t married you can’t force the sale of house as my friend has found out

yes be lovely if ex’s paid half of All extras. They don’t

you haven’t had a lot of notice of trip

our yr 6 is £650 but had 3yrs notice to pay

At that price, unless you live in a very wealthy area, loads of families won’t be able to afford it so she won’t be alone not going.

Are you still not paying the mortgage or did you stop briefly to force his hand then continue paying your half when he didn’t budge on selling? Do you know why he won’t sell? It sounds very odd.

If he’s paying the full whack you’re on shakier ground as he’s paying for the roof over all of your heads, no matter how low the amount, and technically he doesn’t even need to pay the child support he’s paying is he’s declaring such low income.

If she can’t go she can’t go.

I would tell my dd that her dad won’t pay for it. She’s old enough to be mad at him for being a shit dad.

My dad always paid half of all school trips, uniform, bought most of my clothes and tech items as I grew up. I found out as an adult he only paid my mum £100 a month in CM but she didn’t mind too much because he contributed in this way and it helped her.

It would be nice of him to offer but you sadly can’t force it. Most children don’t attend these expensive trips. I find the secondary trips abroad are really overpriced for what they offer. My DC’s school offer a GCSE geography/ history one to either New York or Iceland and it’s about 2k for 3 days not including food. I decided to take DS to NYC on my own and paid the same for 2 of us with food for slightly longer.

Do you live in the jointly owned home?

There are a lot of threads about CMS and either undisclosed income, dividends, declared income incompatible with lifestyle etc.

See, read and act OR set up a new thread asking for advice.

But he's just building up trouble for himself by refusing to sell the jointly owned home. You might manage to get a free advice session with a solicitor or manage to force the sale yourself. Again I am sure some people here will have done it themselves sol perhaps another thread you could start?

Lay out whats happened what the documents say etc

He will, if he’s a contractor, he can get a contractor mortgage via brokers which is based your day rate. They understand that contractors have to be creative with their books.

he’s an awful person though

He is being very unreasonable however £900 to Paris is ridiculously expensive my dc’s school trip to New York was not much more than this.

As an aside op, if he is paying the entire mortgage now, and your money is tight, how do you plan on paying your own mortgage/rent if you do sell?

should he pay half? Of course. Is he going to? No, because he’s clearly an arsehole.