AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

sounds like you are more worried about yourself than your son. 2 weeks 1:1 time with a parent could be really special.

Is your DH not competent? Why would 2 weeks with Dad be too long?

YABU on the face of it because there’s nothing wrong with it. From 5 I was going with my dad abroad for 2-3 weeks each year (separated parents). Of course, difficult for my mum and I get why this is a big deal for you! However, I am very glad she let me do this each year.

I agree and that op says he's not done it before and she made the very reasonable suggestion that he works up to it but was dismissed. Few days this summer then a week. If he did this building up to 2 weeks it might be easier fir everyone.

Let dad and son bond for two weeks, you take your two year old for somewhere age appropriate for one on one time somewhere to, then next time around he takes the younger and you take the older one. One on one time is important too

I’d be saying take them both and give me some peace!

Bonding - pffft. He’s picking the easiest child and leaving you with the hard work. I don’t know why people are seeing this as beneficial to anybody but him.

I think two weeks is a lot out of a 29 day annual leave allocation, because I would also be expecting him to take the two year old away for the same amount of time “for bonding”.

FWIW I had a two week holiday with my Aunt when I was five and at that point, I hadn't seen her for a year. I had a wonderful time and it's a holiday I have never forgotten.

DH took DS at about this age for 10 days. It was fine (except for the time he accidentally sent photos to the class whatsapp group instead of me! ). DD would have found it harder to be away from me for that long at a similar age.

So I think it depends on the child.

It seems odd to deny your own child a fun holiday. I do this with our oldest, we tend to only do a week due to finances and annual leave, we have a great time. My husband also often does the same with our youngest. Like yours OP they’re at different stages, so its nice to be able to spoil them with a holiday for them, rather than 50/50 for each sibling. Ours would both be fine if we had the time and finances to do it for two weeks.

Our two are having a weeks holiday next week without either of us, they’ll have a great time.

Us missing our children isn’t a good enough reason for them to miss going on holiday.

I think it’s odd that your DH wants to take your 5 yo on a two week holiday leaving you at home with your toddler. Why wouldn’t you all go ?

Especially if it’s a trip to Disney or the like, surely you’d want to be there to experience it all with him. Why can’t they go away for a long weekend somewhere just the two of them ?

Ffs. No way you’d say that if it was the mother taking him away. Dads get crucified for not stepping up and now they aren’t allowed to take their son in a 2 week holiday alone? It’s completely unfair

Why would he? He’d be with his dad having the time of his life!

I think its a great idea, but agree 2 weeks is a bit long. I'd suggest he just goes for a week.

I take my older DC on trips alone so we can have 1:1 time but they’re teens. I don’t know why you’d take a 5 year old abroad for so long alone, especially to a place with water parks and such when you could just go as a family? If he’s worried about 1:1 time, he could take the 5 yo on excursions alone while there and you do something different with the younger child.

DH used to get masses more leave than me. The year before DS2 started school, DH took him away for 2 weeks, while I went to work, and DS1 went to school.
DS1 demanded a similar trip the following year! So Id say the kids really valued the 1-1 time with a parent.

They are both now teens. Next week DS1 has got himself a weeks work next to my work - and DS2 & DH are going awsy for the week.

Let them go. Its brilliant to let Dad be the major parent for a while. Its lovely for the kids to get some 1-1 time. And it may or may not be nice fir you to have a bit less to think about for a week.

I know your concerns are simply along the lines of how your 5yr old would be away from mum and home for 2 weeks but would he be okay with you doing the same (even if you don’t actually want to)? Would he be okay with you using 10 days leave next year and taking your DD away for two weeks leaving DH with 2/3yr old? I bet a lot of outsiders will view you leaving him with a little one for two weeks very differently and view you differently for being okay with leaving your little one for that long.

Why is two weeks too long? I thought that was a normal period of time to go on holiday, a week never seems enough. We took ours away for three weeks and had a great time, nobody was bored or got fed up.

Our 5yr old goes to bed the same time as us on holiday. We are generally tired from the sun and being active so we all go to bed around 10pm.

I’m a single parent.

I often took fs away for 7-14 nights.

He was fine.

Lots of kids go away with just 1 parent. Lots of kids go away for a week or more.

I think it sounds great.

Why do you think it's weird. The 2 year old is likely to be in nursery and the OP is probably working. Not weird at all.

The comments on this thread determined to think this is wrong, part of some sort of elaborate lie or not ok are the reason the bar is set so low for men.

Why aren’t you all going? That’s very weird.

Never once did we stick to ‘bedtime routines’ on any holiday we ever went on. Day at the pool, beach or anywhere would result in us all having a shower and nap when we got back and then up, get ready and back out.

5yos need to go to bed including on holiday, you’d be out of routine of course but you’d still be getting them to bed at 8 and then… alone in the hotel room. You couldn’t leave. Would be way better with partner and 2yo and you can hang out together and some nights support the other to go for a solo drink or walk. I don’t get this at all.

I guess this would be totally weird to me- if he wanted to go on a fun child friendly pool holiday but leave me with 2yo I’d be wtf? 2yos love pool holidays!! We can all come or you can make it a bonding weekend.

5 year olds have no concept of time. These clubs are usually morning/afternoon or both. The kid could go to the holiday club in the morning and do something interesting in the afternoon and then dad could talk about it vaguely going to holiday club a couple mornings. Kid isn’t going to be counting the days and monitoring the time.

If the boy gets on with the woman’s kids in the same club, the boy will see it as daddy talking to one of the other kids mums and not pay it much attention. Even dinner time in those resort hotels, it can be easy to excuse sitting with this other parent on occasion. No available tables, kind enough to share a table, the kids got on etc etc.

I only think about this because I know of two people who have had a holiday with their affair partner in this way. Perhaps I’m jaded 🤷🏽‍♂️