AIBU to think a two-week trip abroad with dad is too much for a five-year-old?

People wouldn't be thinking it's too long to keep the 2 year old away from its dad. Because on her apparently women are the " greater" parents

He only wants to take one child though. He’s not taking both kids, the 2 year old gets left at home so it’s not a break for mum either.

Would people be of the same opinion if the OP said she was taking the 2 year old away for 2 weeks and leaving her son behind? I think not

OP, why don't you get to go? DH and DS could do these things with you spending time with the 2 year old, nobody would miss anyone. We have a 9 year gap between oldest and youngest and did plenty of one going in one direction with the older ones while younger one did something else and then came back together.

We never did a 2 week holiday as older two would have missed their mum by then and you might be right that DS might. If you all go you could have the best of both worlds. I would still now happily lie and read a book during the hottest part of the day in an air conditioned room while a two year old had a nap and everyone else was off doing something different.

No it’s fine. He’s his father and loads of people holiday that long with kids that young. My nephew (just 4) has done it multiple times.

It’s a bit odd them going alone given you are not separated, other than that a non issue.

I mean it’s his actual dad not a random stranger so I can’t see how it’s too long. Would you think 2 weeks was too long for him to spend with you? Sounds like there is no back story or specific reason either

Standard Mumsnet.

Mine were spending at least that with their Dad over the summer holidays, can’t see the problem as they’re with their Dad.

I thought this was going to be a non-resident parent. I can't see any need for him to take a child away for that long to bond. I also don't think there's anything wrong with admitting "I don't want to be away from my son for that long"; I think that's a perfectly reasonable objection even if the child will be fine.

What is he going to be doing three years later? Trip away with the younger one when they are 5? Trip away with each of them every year? Alternating? What if there are more children? It's worth working out what the long-term plan is.

I know a family where each kid went off for a week with their dad after their GCSEs - great opportunity for a bit of one-to-one time, utilising the gap before their siblings finished term. But for a five year old, it seems a bit unnecessary.

I assumed you were separated! I can't imagine me or dh taking one child and leaving other parent for 2 weeks

I assumed you must be divorced.

Why have separate holidays? That’s weird.

Why? Separate holidays are perfectly normal.

Sounds fine to me. I used to go to Australia every year for 3 weeks with my mum while my dad worked. My dad and I would also go skiing without my mum most years too.

Very weird. You all go or none go.

What are you real concerns? Unless you fear for the child's safety this is fine isnt it?

Took our then 3yr old to Florida for 3 weeks. He didn't stop enjoying it all day, obvoiulsly tired at the end of the day but that's what sleeping is for

I don't get why all 4 of your wouldn't go together?
But if you're taking separate holidays, 2 weeks is fine to be with dad. You missing him should not stop him from having the opportunity to spend time with his dad.

This a bit too, when is his special extended time with his 2yo planned while the op looks after the 5yo who can talk and take themselves to the toilet and dress themselves and walk a km or so and doesnt understand no and doesn’t need a full cleaning service after every meal?
I just do not see why you would go on a holiday the 2yo would absolutely LOVE but just take the 5yo. If they were even a year older it would be super mean actually - my dd turned 4 not so long ago and for longer than the last year she would completely understand daddy had gon with big brother for days and days and days and forever, but she didn’t get to go. Thats without even knowing how it was a holiday she’d love. I could not do 2 weeks with one dc and just leave the others.

I have think two weeks is too long for the Dad tbh as doing things like this as the only adult is relentless and exhausting as all single parents can attest to. Does he realise that he will need to be eyes on at all times the child is is awake? A swimming pool holiday is especially stressful.

At 5 my ds got homesick on our 2 week trips and we were both with him!
Why won't he trial a weekend first?

It’s not the most outrageous proposal Ever but I’m another one who thinks it is odd!

it is fine for OP to miss her child and not want the trip for this reason. If it’s the first trip of this kind, it’s also fine for her to feel
she is missing out. These are not unreasonable points of views. If they were visiting family, that would be a reason to suck it up and also be more relaxed about care as there would other adults on hand, but they are not. Also sounds like there is no benefit of down time at home either as she is left with a two year old which may bring it’s own challenges of never getting a complete
break. Also while the two year old
wont miss the holiday, they may miss their dad. There is no way I would have voluntarily left my son at 2. I also wonder what precedent this is setting up … what’s the plan for the future? Even things up when the 2 year old hits 5 and the 10’year old is upset?

im not down on the idea of one parent taking a child. I do an annual mum and son holiday
with my boy but he is an only and we do 3 to 4 days. Two weeks is definitely going all in! I find my short break is good bonding time and a chance to do some things his dad doesn’t enjoy so much or that are relatively expensive to pay for three of us compared to two. I couldn’t afford a two week holiday like this on top of a family holiday either financially or in terms of leave but it sounds like this isn’t the case for the OP.

Would you take him on holiday for 2 weeks if you could? That’s your answer. It’s his dad. Unless they have a poor relationship, I think it’s a great idea.

Exactly this! Who pays to go on holiday to a different place, yet misses out on the whole evening cultural scene, food, music etc to sit in a hotel room because they can’t miss out on bedtime.

Dh has been a good dad, involved but worked long hours when I was a sahm. At one point his family were organising a holiday I didn’t want to go on, and we discussed whether he should take them. They were 4 and 6. There was no question that he could cope with them, and that his family would dote on them, and that they would have a great time. But dh also knew they’d miss mum at bedtime, and he wasn’t willing to put them (or himself) through that.

He was sent away for summer holidays as a child, where he had a great time, but also was terribly homesick for his mum.

Start with a week. Then try two weeks another year.