AIBU to feel awkward being excluded from my cousin's wedding when she’s coming to mine?

I think I would be most upset on behalf of my mum tbh. And would be telling my cousin why it was so wrong not to include her.

My sister and I got married in the same summer. I booked mine first. I liked the coincidence and certainly didn't feel upstaged or cross in any way, that's just ridiculous.

I do think you had good advice from a PP who said don't rush into finalising details and invitations for your wedding. Wait and see how this whole thing plays out. You may find yourself having different feelings about friends/family, who you will be closest to in life, and who you want to invite to your wedding, and feel differently about the plan you have already made. All the best to you, OP. This reflects so badly on your cousin - you and your mum on the other hand can hold your heads high.

The babies will be next - christenings, first birthdays. You have a long road ahead of you unless you can adjust your expectations.

Come on. That final paragraph is the only reason you weren’t invited. Surely you must be able to see she’s pissed off at you taking all the attention away from her by having a wedding the same summer? There’s your real reason. That’s why she didn’t invite you. The rest is just excuses.

Well I still think that you should send your family members formal invites and not formally invite your cousin and her fiancé so they can’t officially go because the invite is rescinded. They really don’t deserve to come to your wedding. I hope you don’t let them go. The rest of your family will be on your side and will completely understand if you don’t officially invite them.

And stand up for your poor mother at least. She has lost her husband and now such piss poor behaviour.

The other bride sounds a tad controlling to me. Only you would know? Also wanting to be the only wedding that summer. Tad unrealistic. All her side invited. Mutual friends added to your cousin’s side. I’d be hurt, especially for your mum. Thing is if they’d given you dates, you may have been able to avoid it a clash. They didn’t. Their mistake.

In your shoes, I’d think about what I’d want to do and not make any rash decisions.

It’s fucking laughable that her fiance is upset that your wedding is the same summer as hers. So fucking what? She doesn’t OWN the summer! Is this even a thing that normal people think? Honestly I’d be excited that one of my friends was getting married in the same month!
Let her know her invite has been rescinded and wish her the best of luck in tying herself to such a pathetic petty little arshole for the rest of her life. What a bunch of twats!

If you advertise you are a human doormat, don’t be surprised when people walk all over you. Always loved that saying because it’s so true. Start your married life as you mean to go on, or you will have a life time of being excluded. Stop relying on these awful people.

‘I completely understand guest limits to your wedding day, I will be disappointed not to see you get married given how close we are, however we really do wish you every happiness in your married life together, and hope you have a great day.

I am delighted to invite you both to our evening reception from 8pm, however we can’t accommodate a day time invite, due to our own logistics.

Next year will be a very happy year for our families, and I look forward to see you at the next family gathering

Best wishes

Op 👰🏼’

Isn’t it unfortunate that your venue can no longer accommodate all the guests you wish could attend? Sadly you will no longer be able to host them but hope they have a lovely day and you can all catch up after your weddings. Start your married live with some self-respect and uninvite them. That’s the consequences of their actions and not on you. Reality doesn’t match your vision and you have to come to terms with that. Your poor poor mum.

Sorry OP.. I'm getting Bridezilla vibes from the other bride...

This is exactly the message they’re sending. Awful.

I think this is outrageous behaviour on your cousin's part and speaks very very poorly of her character.
The excuses are piss poor. Just the basic lack of reciprocation is appalling. It is beyond me how anyone could accept a family wedding invitation whilst refusing the same family member an invite. And that's regardless of the relationship. The fact that you thought you had a close relationship should be a massive wake up call going forward.
Only you can decide how to respond, but I don't see how you can continue as before with these people after this treatment.

Hate to say it but I do agree with this. x

I'm so sorry OP, this would make me feel like shite too. I could understand the reasoning behind it maybe a little if my cousin had spoken to me quietly and explained.
As it is, it would feel persona and I really don't think I could send an invite to them. Or at least , just send an evening one. 💐

No need to mention she's been an absolute bitch to your mother by giving the unspoken message of 'you're not family now your husband is dead'. I wouldn't invite anyone to my wedding who had done that.

You really should withdraw her invitation to your wedding, because a decent person would surely feel extremely awkward going, when everyone knows they didn't invite you to theirs. So you are actually sparing her feelings by going with 'I wouldn't want you to feel awkward about the lack of reciprocity'.

And if she wouldn't feel awkward, even more reason to uninvite her.

They do soundawful and I did suspect the proximity of the weddings in time was more of an issue and has impacted things. Not your fault obviously!

I think I would reply saying you understand that there are always limitations and balances on wedding guest lists, but as the only cousin not invited it is very hurtful and you feel bad for your mum who has only been excluded because she has lost your dad.

It’s all so unkind.

Op you making lots and lots of excuses for poor behavior. The bride is prioritising herself and her friends, perhaps you should do the same? They are no loss, she sounds awful.

Cousin’s fiancé has a very long list of her friends and family members who must be invited. Which has meant anyone who is even vaguely a mutual friend has gone on my cousin’s guest allocation.

You do realise this makes your cousin sound even worse? And the groom even worse too?

Awful, awful people. You are going to regret having these people at your wedding,