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Original poster

Do I pay for all their coffees and drinks?

244 replies

Argentinasnargentina · 16/07/2026 21:23

Dd’s birthday party this weekend. It’s at a soft play/activity type place. It’s three hours long and will include lunch provided by the establishment-pizzas, cheeseburgers, sweets, fruit platter, water and juices, cupcakes etc.
There are ten children coming with parents, the place has a cafe/coffee bar selling drinks & snacks.
As we’re hosting, what do I do? I feel
a bit uncomfortable with parents coming and having to buy their own coffee and cold drinks but the other option to have it open and we pay the bill at the end scares me a bit!
The party with all food included and an entertainer coming has cost a lot and the lunch will be plentiful

Not sure what to do?

OP posts:
Mwnci123 · 16/07/2026 22:49

I would expect to pay for my own drinks as a parent in this type of party

PeachySmile2 · 16/07/2026 22:49

I would never expect the party mum to buy the adults a tea or coffee. The adults should sort themselves out

Pistachiocake · 16/07/2026 22:48

Been to loads of parties like this and parents always pay for their own things-you pay for the kids. I do respect some people feel they have to provide for cultural reasons (some of my friends/family do) but that is not the norm so don't feel you should.

Viviennemary · 16/07/2026 22:41

I don't think your expected to provide coffee and tea for parents.

ScotiaLass · 16/07/2026 22:28

I've been at kids parties where the Dad has gone round the cafe area and asked people if they want a drink before placing an order for teas and coffees for everyone. I agree it's a nice touch. I'd avoid prebooking it though because we once arranged tea, coffee and bacon rolls for the parents while the kids had their party tea but lots of parents went and ordered and paid for their own while the kids were still doing the activity and then didn't want what's we'd prepaid for - very annoying, but lesson learned!

Strawberrydelight78 · 16/07/2026 22:27

The party is for the children. You provide food and refreshments for the children parents sort their own out. The only time I provided drinks for parents was when we had a party in a community centre.

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 16/07/2026 22:26

Shinyandnew1 · 16/07/2026 21:25

I would ask the party people to provide water/squash for the table but if parents want to buy a drink, that’s down to them. If you open a tab, that could get very expensive! I have never known this to happen at a party.

This. Maybe you could offer 1 “round” to each person a coffee and buy it for them but after that it’s on them. Only if you really wanted to.

Restlessdreams1994 · 16/07/2026 22:26

The party is for the kids so you provide food and drink for them. Adults bring/buy their own.

StrawberryMatchaLatte · 16/07/2026 22:10

No, parents buy their own coffees. That's how it's always been when I've attended this type of party and I've been to loads.

PeasePuddingPottage · 16/07/2026 22:08

Hosted for 34 kidss lol. Juice squash etc big jugs for kids. Bottled water. Parents got their own tea / coffees

Mourningmorningsleep · 16/07/2026 22:08

At some parties I've had to buy my own, at some others the host has bought them or had a tab at the cafe. I didn't judge either way, I don't think it's a big deal whichever option you go for, they're both normal ok options.

Gengha · 16/07/2026 22:07

I used to ask parents if they wanted a tea or coffee and go and buy them. Not a
tab though. Not everyone would say yes.

Steph818 · 16/07/2026 22:07

We opened a tab for parents to get hot drinks at our DS’s Reception year party at a soft play. It was very well received and people were sensible and didn’t abuse the hospitality. There were about 25 parents there and our total bill for the drinks was about £80.

dancingdeidre · 16/07/2026 22:01

I think it's fine so long as you are clear. 'Lunch, drinks and cake will be provided for the children and there's a bar for adults to buy anything they want.'

TooHotMyIcecreamHasMelted · 16/07/2026 22:00

If I had was an attending parent, I would 100% expect to pay for my own coffee!

Change2banon · 16/07/2026 22:00

I’ve never provided nor been provided with drinks as a parent. Any adult knows they’re paying for their own.

LostNFoundSV · 16/07/2026 21:59

You don’t need to provide adults with any drinks.

nomas · 16/07/2026 21:59

Argentinasnargentina · 16/07/2026 21:28

There will be juice and water at lunchtime at 12, but party starts at 10.30 and parents will most likely want a coffee/drink, it feels awkward that they should go and pay for this at the bar 😬 i’d like to offer them refreshments

Show quote history

But parents will be used to buying their own coffee. Don’t be a mug. They won’t: be treating you to a coffee when it’s their turn.

Don’t do it. If you really want do something, take a multipack of water bottles (£2.50 in Lidl) and have them on a table.

lackingfestiveinspo · 16/07/2026 21:58

Twice I’ve attended a soft play and the party host parents have said to all attending parents to order one hot drink at the cafe and they will pay.

Equally, I’m more than happy to pay for my own and would expect to.

Leopardspota · 16/07/2026 21:58

Totally normal to buy your own. If they want a drink they’ll bring a water bottle. If you can provide your own buy a box of Dash water or something.

TFIThursday · 16/07/2026 21:58

We had a party like this for DS and we had an open tab. Most parents only had one drink so it wasn’t too bad.

Eeyorefan · 16/07/2026 21:57

I always bought my own a when drinks were offered it was usually tea or coffee and I don’t drink either, so I always expected to buy my own

tachetastic · 16/07/2026 21:56

Argentinasnargentina · 16/07/2026 21:23

Dd’s birthday party this weekend. It’s at a soft play/activity type place. It’s three hours long and will include lunch provided by the establishment-pizzas, cheeseburgers, sweets, fruit platter, water and juices, cupcakes etc.
There are ten children coming with parents, the place has a cafe/coffee bar selling drinks & snacks.
As we’re hosting, what do I do? I feel
a bit uncomfortable with parents coming and having to buy their own coffee and cold drinks but the other option to have it open and we pay the bill at the end scares me a bit!
The party with all food included and an entertainer coming has cost a lot and the lunch will be plentiful

Not sure what to do?

Don't worry, it's not remotely awkward. If you are hosting the party then you should cover the costs of food and drink for the kids, but if the parents want anything they should be more than happy to sort themselves out. I would never expect the host to pay for my coffee and pastry just because I decided to hang around rather than drop and run.

GolfingGoddess · 16/07/2026 21:56

I’ve been to about a million soft play parties and I always expect to buy my own coffee. You are are hosting my kid, not me. I think I’ve been to one where when I went to pay there was a tab, and one where the dad came round and did a coffee round about 15 mins in. Every other time, I’ve bought one if I want one. It’s very much the norm and completely fine IMO.

Threesmycrowd · 16/07/2026 21:56

To add...at a party like this i wouldnt expect drinks for children to be provided before food and have bought cartons of juice pre meal in similar circumstances before. I never thought anything negative towards the hosts for having to do that but I did regret not bringing a bottle of water with me!

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