How common is autism among close family and friends?

2 x DNs on XH's side and also XH's cousin's DC have autism diagnoses (all received whilst still in primary).

DP has an ADHD diagnosis (since we got together) and both his DC have autism (diagnosed as teens).

Two of my friends (intelligent, have really looked into it, wouldn't just say it for the sake of it) think they probably have ADHD but aren't going to seek a diagnosis as don't see the point at this age.

Friend's DD has ADHD and I think friend probably does, too.

I attended some ND awareness training at work, and can see traits in various family members, though I suspect not to the extent of meeting a diagnostic threshold. But suppose that's why many people say things like "we're all on the spectrum" (which I think is really unhelpful). I do wonder if growing up around particular traits means you gravitate towards people who are similar.

I know one family member on XH's side thinks there are several other family members who likely have autism but are older and unlikely to consider it or accept it if true.

My own DD is waiting for a return appointment with a consultant. They said she doesn't have ADHD but some social communication issues have been highlighted as warranting a further conversation. We've been waiting months, though, so I don't expect much.

DD has quite a lot going in with symptoms of OCD and anxiety, but nothing seems to be bad enough (in the medical experts' opinion) for any kind of diagnosis. I see it a bit like a landscape where she has spikes in certain areas. A mountain has to be a certain height to qualify as a mountain (~ threshold for diagnosis), and DD's topography doesn't seem to include any certified mountains, but it's seriously hilly terrain with not-quite-mountain spikes all over the place. Not sure if that makes sense outside my head! I recognise that I possibly have a couple of hills that are similar to some of hers, but am otherwise a gently rolling landscape with some varying features, but only to the extent that they make me an individual, not that they cause any issues.

So quite a few people close to me. Is that because it's more prevalent than we realise or because I'm drawn to a certin type of person? Or both? Who knows?!

I’m autistic, diagnosed with Asperger’s in the 2010’s when I was a teenager.

Both of my siblings are diagnosed autistic, diagnosed when they were in primary school. My Mum is diagnosed, only diagnosed in the past few years though.

DH is autistic and was diagnosed in the early 2000’s as he was selectively none verbal. His nephew is also diagnosed. I suspect my grandmother and both of my in laws are too but not diagnosed. I also have 3 cousins who are diagnosed plus one who I suspect. It’s definitely prevalent in my family and I believe myself and DH get on so well because we understand each other in a way most others don’t.

My DS and DN are both autistic (level 2). I suspect that my DM, both DBs, my DD, my other DS and I would all get a diagnosis by today’s standards. In fact my DB’s GP assumed he had an autism diagnosis already and was staggered to learn he didn’t when he tried to refer him to a support group. DB wasn’t happy!

It runs in families, we tend to get jobs with other autistic people, and we most easily form friendships with autistic people. If a person is autistic, they are likely surrounded by autism and that is a good thing.

I have a few hobbies that tend to attract the ASD crowd. It’s amazing how different the communication style is when we are the majority. It’s wonderful. Everyone is so relaxed and we just jump into deep conversations like it is nothing. There is no small talk. People walk up to one another and give compliments or ask questions. It’s just the most open and sharing experience, regardless of why we are gathered.

I have autism and my eldest has autism, my youngest shows traits of adhd. Neurodivergentcy runs in families. So if you have theres a possibility your child will have it and vice versa

Neurodiversity runs all through my family on one side, I have relatives diagnosed with ASD, dyslexia and dyspraxia some of whom have more than one of them. I also think I have quite a number of relatives that are undiagnosed.

My ds is autistic - diagnosed 13 years ago but has a genetic neuro disorder.

His dad’s half brother is autistic.

i have 2 cousins (not siblings) who have autistic children and another (again not a sibling to the others) who’s youngest ds js also likely Autistic

my 2 closest friends have an autistic child but their other children aren’t and show no signs.
Our children were 9,18 and 12 when we became friends so it wasn’t through the kids (through work) and I think it’s because we all have similar personalities but we are not ND not have any traits.

You'll find it is either that 95% of your friends and family are ND (with a mix of autism and ADHD), or you don't really know anyone who isn't neurotypical although you have your suspicions about that guy at work who really loves aeroplanes and a few kids in your DC's class.

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16. My son has just been diagnosed at 5. My grandmother was always considered “quirky” by some and “bloody difficult” by others and looking back over my memories and things my mum has said I think she may well have had a touch of the tism. Obviously back then she would never have been diagnosed but I think it was probably autism and I think if she’d been born much later she would have had a much happier life.

My older 2 children have been diagnosed with autism/autism and ADHD. It affects them
in different ways mostly. The younger one has SEN too and goes to a special school. He’s smart in his way but I can’t envisage him living independently or holding down a full time job- through no fault of his or anyone else’s. The older one got mostly A’s and equivalent in her GCSE’s and is predicted the same for her A-levels. She’s planning to go
to university. Time will tell with the littlest one because they’re only a toddler but I wouldn’t be surprised. We will deal with that if it happens.

I haven’t been diagnosed with being on the spectrum. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD but it’s not going to be life changing to find out officially, I just go about my life using coping strategies to make certain things easier for
me, to organise my life basically. There’s a lot of diagnosed and undiagnosed ND in my family. There’s a fair bit in the family trees of the fathers of all of my children. ND is/can be genetic which makes sense.

My 50 year old cousin is. Her dad is Audhd. Her dad's family are split. 4 of his siblings are NT as are their child the other 3 I would say have autistic and ADHD traits and so do their children

My 50 year old cousin is. Her dad is Audhd. Her dad's family are split. 4 of his siblings are NT as are their child the other 3 I would say have autistic and ADHD traits and so do their children

No diagnoses in my family (but that makes sense as the genetic component is huge so all families are likely to have several or none rather than 1 or 2). Lots of us have traits but we wouldn't ever meet any threshold.

Loads of friends though (and their families). I spend my life (work and hobby) doing performing arts and ND is very common in those circles.

The 1% confuses me too. I don't disbelieve it as it's an official, knowlegable source but all around me it seems more like 20%. I teach in a non selective independent school though so we do have a lot more ND (especially undiagnosed) than most state schools will.

I’m autistic with ADHD. It’s genetic, so several family members are too. Some of them have married other autistic people and have children who are likely autistic as well. I was the first in my generation to be diagnosed, after some very rough years in my teens. Co-morbid conditions run in the family as well, so we have an array of allergies, immune system issues, hypermobility, and dysautonomic syndromes across the family tree.

My three closest friends are also all neurodivergent, two autistic with ADHD and one just with ADHD. One also has a young child who isn’t diagnosed with anything yet, but has developmental delays and is likely to be assessed in the future. As PPs have said, we tend to flock together- I find other autistic people quite easy to get along with, especially as I’m not a people person!

My DH and child.

Parents of ND kids are online a lot more in general as we often can’t work full time due to caregiving responsibilities, and we’re also pretty socially starved because we can’t get out much and our partners are typically introverted to the point of misanthropy/reclusivity, and we are more likely to be seeking parenting support because of the challenges our families face, and we are less likely to be able to attend in-person support groups (thanks to a child at home who doesn’t leave the house or can’t be left in the care of others) so we make up a larger percentage of the MN posting population than the population IRL.

Hardly any, either diagnosed or with noticeable traits. if there are they are masking incredibly well

I know quite a lot of people and move in a few circles and I’m not from a small family either. they only one I can think of close to me is my cousins son.

there a few kids in the school but 1-2% prevalence seems about right to me. Incidence online seems to be higher than in real life, in my experience

I'm Autistic, 4 of my dc are Autistic. 1 siblings definitely Autistic. My dad...

1%?

I work in an ASD service so I’ve met 100’s of autistic children and adult.

in my own family (parents, 5 sibling, nieces and nephews) nobody is diagnosed though my nephew likely is.

Me. I don’t know anyone else who is.

I’m autistic diagnosed 5 years ago, my son is diagnosed 9 years ago. My niece is on pathway. My friends son is autistic. I’m aware of at least 3 other autistic children in DS school year . In my DDs year there was an autistic child we knew. My DDs sil is autistic.

When I was young I did some voluntary work with children with autism. This is decades ago.
Then the word autism was really used for those who were severely socially unable to engage with the world.
It wasn’t a term used for many who I think today are described as having it.

my two best friends have autistic children

I had no idea I was (well, still don’t, no desire for diagnosis) until all the awareness came out, then I think I, like many many others, thought ‘hang on, I tick every single box.’ Not the extreme non-functioning kind though, and I do think it should have a different name. It all makes sense though. I can get on so so well immediately with some people (other NDs oversharing straight away, deep talks about one topic only) but with a NT I find it so difficult to break through to something:anything!

10% diagnosed is a huge proportion in a primary school, given that assessment waiting lists are so long! Whereabouts are you in the country?