About the 80 page white floral dress thread. Update from the bride. Should I photoshop SILs white dress?

Love the hat. She was obviously the star of the show. Laugh emoji needed.

😂😂😂

Isn't this a thread about a thread (ATAT), which I thought was against MN rules? I got told off once for posting a comment that made a passing reference to another thread. This goes way beyond that.

Unless it’s worse than this, I wouldn’t worry about what your MIL wore! This is my ex MIL!

it's "only a custom" in the UK. In other places it's more than just a custom. Which was the case for this wedding.

Ahhhh, now I understand your position @theGFnowWife I remember the first thread (I have a life so didn't bother with 2nd thread). I thought from the undertones in your SiL's posts that she was a bit sneering about you. I thought the dress was OK, but boringly conventional & I don't go for all-polyester, whatever the price. (As a high street shop, Hobbs is nice, but mostly for people not sure of their own taste or style ...)

Your explanation about the cultural customs of the country in which you held your wedding now clarifies a lot of things. You were trying to be helpful; your help was sneered at. I'm sorry about that.

Have a good life OP!

This!

how did MIL behave?

I had a bakewell cocktail at Dylan's in Wales, it was delightful

Ooh you e reminded me - I have a miniature Cherry Bakewell vodka hiding away in the cupboard . Not sure what to mix it with ?

Yes. I hadn’t seen it previously but just looked briefly at the link, and Person A and Person B do have very similar styles of story telling.

is this supposed to be the plot of a novel or something

Nobody comes out well of this fiction but the bride and her coven come out of it worse than the SIL.

Really? I completely disagree, among other things SIL referred to the bride as:

'dramatic', 'entitled brat', referred to the brides dress being completely different 'because it is bigger', 'self centered because she isn't having bridesmaids and flower girls' (SIL has a little girl), 'could have at least had children in the wedding', 'my mum has paid for the wedding so why should they tell us what to wear'. she's having a 'hissy fit', she's a 'bridezilla', 'control freak'

oh and this little gem:

I really don’t think my brother cares what I wear and he knows women in our family wear whatever they want including white to weddings all the time.
But she is a control freak so forced him to send out a message about.

Says it all to be honest, she had no intention of respecting their wishes.

I’m with OP here. She happened to mention to MIL that a dress such as the one she saw at her MIL’s house would be best avoided, and MIL misinterpreted it as her trying to control what SIL was wearing, and fed it back to SIL who then decided , instead of going oops better not than, that the (different) dress that she had chosen was hated by OP.

MIL and FIL cosplay.

what a sad misunderstanding. But at least you know what you’re dealing with OP. Send MIL a bunch of flowers saying thank you for your contribution, and back away very slowly. Communicate through your DH until you can be sure you are not misunderstood.

Oooo The Company Shops been rubbish lately, I'm going to have make a visit for bakewell ice cream though.

Meh. If she didn’t want to be gossiped about then she could have chosen a different dress. She chose to embarrass herself and it was commented upon. Oh well.

In many Asian cultures white is a color of death and mourning, and wearing a predominantly white dress at a wedding would be seen as wishing ill on the couple. Which SIL likely intended, based on her threads. I don’t recall her mentioning that the wedding wasn’t a traditional English one, which was quite important information to omit.

By wearing the dress, at what sounds like a wedding that centered OP’s culture, the SIL was inviting comment by the other guests.

Do you come from a culture where white is the colour of mourning, and that’s why you wouldn’t wear it at a wedding?

I am on a diet; please stop saying what you’re having for tea.

I'm with you OP. My dad brought his partner to a family wedding. They had been together for years but we didn't know her as they lived abroad. She isn't from our country.

She is a lovely woman (I discovered in subsequent years) and I felt sorry for her when she arrived and took her coat off. Her outfit was not at all wedding appropriate. She looked a little bit silly.

Also we have very clear rules about wedding gifts and hers was way off. I'm sure she was very uncomfortable.

My mother's family (probably out of misplaced solidarity) laughed and gossiped about her. She didn't deserve it.

Ive now caught up on the whole thread. I have 2 comments.

1. we need to vote who was the most unreasonable, bride or the hobbs lady.
2. I had pizza and chips for dinner. It was a waitrose meal deal.

People vote for all kinds of reasons and partial responses to various aspects of the thread. It's no indication of how many people actually thought the dress, once it was revealed, was actually unreasonable.

Even if it was unreasonable it doesn't make it anything other than hideously embarrassing for OP that her guests allegedly gossiped about it. Nobody comes out well of this fiction but the bride and her coven come out of it worse than the SIL.

I've just found the previous threads, on the first thread she refused to reveal the actual dress so she felt she got an unfair number of votes against her decision to wear a mostly white dress.

The second thread, she revealed the dress in the OP, and over 2000 people though the OP was unreasonable.. this isn't just one person speaking about what is acceptable in their culture.. 2000 individual people either thought the dress was inappropriate for a wedding where the bride has specifically asked no one to wear white, or thought her attitude towards the bride was pretty horrible (which it was).

This can't be for real.
I was wondering if hobbs lady would come back and update.

However, just in case it's real....please give us all of the wedding details. Everything!!

So do you all, including your SIL, live in a place where female wedding guests wearing outfits with any white at all it will be subject to side glances and horrified whispers about their egregious breach of etiquette?

Right-o. Didn't think there was one. Thanks for confirming that, and the general unconvincing nature of the whole thread.