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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Primary school asking parents to not change Nappies in the toilet

157 replies

Laushe · 16/07/2026 15:52

My 5 year old is sen in a mainstream until he transitions to specialist in September. He's toilet trained at home but requires nappies at school/outdoors due to anxiety over using the toilet.
He goes into school 5 mins after gates close as he's an escape risk. This past week just as we've entered the gates he's done a poop, so I've taken him into the reception "accessible" toilet, changed him, bagged the waste and placed it into the bin. I obviously don't want to hand him over full of poop!
Just received this pedantic email (attached in comments) which will have gone to all parents. I'm quite annoyed as my their suggestion of staff escorting parents to another toilet. My son cannot access the main school and is in a segregated area with full time 1-1. Plus I'd have to faff around getting a sign in badge. Reception are aware he's sen and only has one week left before moving schools after summer.
I spoke to his 1-1 about it and we're convinced it's aimed at us and one other parent who's baby goes on the school run.

AIBU to feel like emailing them suggesting they place a nappy bin in the toilet, buy some air fresheners and maybe get a better sealed door if the smell travels the much?

OP posts:

itsmeagainagain · 16/07/2026 16:26

Flush the poo down the toilet bag up the nappy and take it with you …..poor school having to deal with this

PorridgeWithSaltOrSugar · 16/07/2026 16:26

That's grim OP! Use a proper nappy bin or take it with you is common sense I thought?

beAsensible1 · 16/07/2026 16:26

Duckyfondant · 16/07/2026 16:23

Well no, she's using the accessible toilet. It's the sort of thing they're normally for

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Yes then he should address the lack of nappy bin and ask for the solution. And in the meantime dispose in the nappy they do have.

HelpMeNavigateThisPlease · 16/07/2026 16:26

@Laushe I would have taken the nappy home with me and disposed of it myself. Especially in this heat.

cadburyegg · 16/07/2026 16:25

Omg YABU. Why on earth should a school provide a nappy bin. Ridiculous

hugasaurus · 16/07/2026 16:24

I don’t understand though why you can’t use the other toilets that have the nappy bins? You talk about him escaping his 1-2-1 etc. but how is that relevant if you’re the one taking him to the toilet before he’s in class? How does the specific toilet matter?

RosieBurdock · 16/07/2026 16:23

A better sealed door wouldn't stop the toilet smelling bad and air fresheners would just mingle with it. Could you take the waste home to your own bin?

Goldengirl123 · 16/07/2026 16:23

Can’t see the problem with the email

Duckyfondant · 16/07/2026 16:23

chedderland · 16/07/2026 16:21

There are 2 toilets with adequate waste facilities. Op just doesn’t want to use them.

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Well no, she's using the accessible toilet. It's the sort of thing they're normally for

chedderland · 16/07/2026 16:21

Duckyfondant · 16/07/2026 16:20

I'm surprised at the answers. An accessible toilet should have adequate waste facilities. No way would I be taking my disabled daughters poo around with me. She's not a baby

There are 2 toilets with adequate waste facilities. Op just doesn’t want to use them.

hugasaurus · 16/07/2026 16:21

Nothing wrong with that email. No one wants to be smelling shit unnecessarily. Just put it in a nappy bin after if you can’t go to that specific toilet at the time or take it with you and bin it on way home. Putting it in the sanitary bin isn’t a solution.

Sophue · 16/07/2026 16:21

It sounds as if you are not going to take responsibility for your actions. Sani bins are not suitable for dirty nappies and you should have taken it with you.

frenchnoodle · 16/07/2026 16:21

So are the school letting you go into the childrens toilets unescorted to change him? Because surely having you in the toilets is a safeguarding issue?

Duckyfondant · 16/07/2026 16:20

I'm surprised at the answers. An accessible toilet should have adequate waste facilities. No way would I be taking my disabled daughters poo around with me. She's not a baby

beAsensible1 · 16/07/2026 16:20

Putting human poo in a “public” toilet is extremely anti social. Take it with you ffs.

poo is not absorbed. It sits. Sanitary bins are not emptied daily.

they provide nappy bins in other loos. Yes they should provide one but until they do BAG IT and take it with you. The solution is never to leave poo in a bin.

Most adults shouldn’t have to be told what would be the best etiquette in this situation. You assessed the situation and came up with the worst solution

chedderland · 16/07/2026 16:19

Just take it with you, what’s the issue? Theres 2 toilets you can use to dispose of them too. The email seems perfectly polite. It’s not hygienic or polite to put them in any bin.

firstofallimadelight · 16/07/2026 16:19

As a parent who’s son toilet trained at 7 (and still has occasional accidents) I sympathise but you shouldn’t put human waster in a general bin or a sanitary bin. You need to bag it up and take it with you.

WeatherOrNothing · 16/07/2026 16:19

WilmaRubble · 16/07/2026 16:16

I’ve never in my life left a nappy in a bin somewhere that wasn’t a nappy bin. It’s never even crossed my mind.

Same as I wouldn’t dispose of dog poo in an ordinary bin in a school, office or restaurant.

You can clearly tell when a person who does this, is the same that will just throw a dog poo into anyone’s bin as well.

WeatherOrNothing · 16/07/2026 16:18

That’s bad on your part. Surely you can’t expect everyone to sit in the reception area and smell a dirty nappy. Take it with you. A nappy bin in the reception area will still smell.
There’s nothing wrong with their email.
They have provided the appropriate places to do so, so you should use the area.

Happytaytos · 16/07/2026 16:17

Anonbakerylady · 16/07/2026 16:11

Shaming a parent for disposing of a disabled child's incontinence waste is really not on, I'm with you OP. If they can provide nappy bins elsewhere in the school why can't they move one or install one where the child(ren) with SEND enter school. What if OP has to walk home, or take public transport straight to work and has to carry a large incontinence pad to work with her? What a dreadful way to treat a disabled student and their parent.

The email isn't shaming.

The OP could ask where to throw the poo if there was no bin. If her son is incontinent the OP will have to get used to asking.

WilmaRubble · 16/07/2026 16:16

I’ve never in my life left a nappy in a bin somewhere that wasn’t a nappy bin. It’s never even crossed my mind.

Same as I wouldn’t dispose of dog poo in an ordinary bin in a school, office or restaurant.

Happytaytos · 16/07/2026 16:15

Poo needs to go in the right bin. Ask to access the bin after changing and bagging once your child is in the classroom.

Brickiscool · 16/07/2026 16:15

You shouldn't leave the nappy there. Take it home with you.

Itsmeeeeeee · 16/07/2026 16:14

How do you think that leaving a soiled nappy in a sanitary bin is acceptable? So what there is no nappy bin, you take it with you and dispose appropriately. They sent a general polite email so not to single you out. How could it be dealt with any better? Entitlement is off the scale on this one.

Nowthatshuge · 16/07/2026 16:12

Nowthatshuge · 16/07/2026 16:11

Sounds really tricky OP, is that why they have suggested they would escort so that they can help you if he tries to make a run for it? They’re trying to give you another option. Or maybe change him where you did and once he’s handed over ask if you can have access to the other toilets to dispose of his nappy?

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