Page 15 | to think the UK should have bidets

LarkspurBlues · 2026-07-16T12:27:15+00:00

Just that really. I far prefer the French habit of having a wash after having a no 2, much more civilised. The British way is actually unhygienic and gross.

GLOBALBEES · 16/07/2026 14:49

Most arabic and moslem people use a teapot thing to wash their bums . Most modern factories have designated squatting toilets with a shower attachment in the uk

1dayatatime · 16/07/2026 14:48

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

Gosh that sounds posh. When I was a child we had to make do with hand stands in the shower.

LooksLikeIPickedTheWrongWeekToQuitDrinking · 16/07/2026 14:45

I am enjoying this thread!

But yes, whilst bidets are legal here if installed correctly, they can’t work as a proper bidet should: i.e. with an upwards jet.
The permissible ones are really just sinks with taps and a plug hole, so you’d have to fill it and bathe your underparts rather than have a quick squirt, so it’s slower, uses more water and is less hygienic.

SpiralSister · 16/07/2026 14:43

Ceramiq · 16/07/2026 14:02

Just go to the loo first thing before your morning bath or shower. If you aren't doing this then your digestive system isn't working well.

And lo! All IBD was cured with the wisdom of this remark..

Honestly, just think.

Livpool · 16/07/2026 14:40

LarkspurBlues · 16/07/2026 13:38

Yes not a public bidet. I do what you do too. I just wish everyone else did also.

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Why do you care what other people do?! Unless you are into rimming randoms…

Maddy70 · 16/07/2026 14:40

We installed one. The best thing ever

Notsodisney · 16/07/2026 14:39

Catwalking · 16/07/2026 14:38

Talking of bunnies… & poos ; you do know that rabbits deliberately consume some of their poos! yeh, they have to! Gives a whole new impact to this thread 🤔😂

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Damn you!

Catwalking · 16/07/2026 14:38

Notsodisney · 16/07/2026 14:33

Thanks @Natsku and @fost I will have a look at mixed tap ones. DH would be the happiest bunny!

Talking of bunnies… & poos ; you do know that rabbits deliberately consume some of their poos! yeh, they have to! Gives a whole new impact to this thread 🤔😂

Topseyt123 · 16/07/2026 14:37

bigboykitty · 16/07/2026 13:36

There is, actually. Bidets are not permitted in the UK under plumbing regulations because of 'backflow' issues.

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Nonsense. We are in the UK. I don't have a bidet in my house but my parents have had them for decades. Probably for 30 years and they were in their house for over 50 years. Each time the bathroom needed refitted another bidet went in.

You can get them in the UK and they are installed using our plumbing regulations. Nothing illegal about them.

Gemilo · 16/07/2026 14:36

I have lived in France twice. Never had a bidet or knew anyone with one.

Notsodisney · 16/07/2026 14:33

Thanks @Natsku and @fost I will have a look at mixed tap ones. DH would be the happiest bunny!

Augustus40 · 16/07/2026 14:32

I use a wet wipe after wiping with loo roll. Job done.

Backedoffhackedoff · 16/07/2026 14:32

Bluenose1966 · 16/07/2026 14:19

Was listening to two Indian guys on a podcast who said as part of their culture they wash their bums with water after a poo.
They said if you got poo on your arm you wouldn’t just wipe it off you would want to wash it off.
Never used to but I now tend to have a wash after going the toilet. If money were no object I would get a bum shower like Natsku said they do in Finland.

these are the comments on this topic I don’t get.

the uk has brilliant plumbing, sewerage and has had proper loos in every home and public building for the best part of 50 years.

what do we have to learn from countries who have notoriously awful toileting conditions, including laterines, open sewers, holes in the floor etc.?!!

in what other scenario would this make sense? “I really don’t think we have very good motorways in the uk, I wish it was more like Sudan”

Additup · 16/07/2026 14:31

I've been to France more times than I care to remember and I have relatives there. As far as I know french people do not routinely wash their bums after doing a poo.

Some muslim countries however sometimes have a little high up water pipe that runs water into the loo and the idea is you put your hand under you and give yourself a wash. In the spirit of trying anything once I gave it a go and ended up with fingers and nails full of my own excrement, which was nice 😂

Foxyloxy89 · 16/07/2026 14:31

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

This is actually gross 🤢 would anyone like to share my arse cloth? No thanks

Nannyfannybanny · 16/07/2026 14:30

We've never had room in any of our bathrooms. Would love one, I have to use a cream stuff for vulval excema, can't use a flannel or anything,it would make rinsing a whole lot easier, and DH has haemorrhoids, would be more comfortable for him as well.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 · 16/07/2026 14:30

Delatron · 16/07/2026 14:20

I think that’s a discussion for another thread. But it does divide opinion. My view is that it’s easier and quicker and better to hop in the shower than faff around splashing water around with a flannel. However I accept each to their own.

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I had to flannel wash for a few weeks when I broke my shoulder and hated it.
No idea why people without a medical issue would choose it.

Krevlornswath · 16/07/2026 14:30

If that is your strong preference then as others have said, you could install one. There are a number of ways to clean oneself after a bowel movement if necessary - moist wipes, sprays for toilet paper.

Realistically if a person is having bowel movements that cause a situation where they can't clean themselves easily or properly by wiping then they might need to address their digestive health or visit the doctor about incomplete evacuation.

Needless to say it's quite common to have the WC situated in the bathroom in the UK so the shower is right next to you. If I felt unclean I would hope in and resolve it.

Thiswontgetthebabybathed · 16/07/2026 14:30

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/07/2026 13:29

I don't have a bidet but we do keep a flannel and a bucket next to our bathroom toilet. After a number 2 we have a good scrub then rinse it out for the next person. Not quite as good but we all manage to keep clean enough.

🤣

BeSassyOpalSquid · 16/07/2026 14:30

By the way, didn’t see any in Germany or Ireland either when I lived there.

BeSassyOpalSquid · 16/07/2026 14:29

keep baby lotion by the loo and squirt some on your loo paper. It works fine.

biedrona · 16/07/2026 14:29

smart toilet is the way to go

x2boys · 16/07/2026 14:28

bigboykitty · 16/07/2026 13:36

There is, actually. Bidets are not permitted in the UK under plumbing regulations because of 'backflow' issues.

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Is that a new thing ?
Because my parents had one installed in their bathroom in the 90s and its still there.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 16/07/2026 14:28

What does it matter if your arse crack isn't super hygienically clean all of the time? Literally, who gives a shit? I mean there are at least a couple of layers of clothing between your bottom and the world. I can understand with the heat and humidity of some countries it may cause a problem, but here? Not generally.

Theworldsgonemad · 16/07/2026 14:26

You need to install a Japanese toilet.
Also need to remember your glasses so you can locate the stop button!
They are brilliant though 😅